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Maybe, the lady's husband can hear the nice things she said, but he must think "why didn't I hear this when I was alive?" I do notice that people speak and say the most amazingly wonderful things about the departed, and like you said, sometimes you don't even recognize who they are talking about. It is funny sometimes. The departed were human beings, they lived and they made mistakes and they are not the perfect being people always talk about at services, but you can't say the truth though like "Aunt Patty was always a crabby old lady" that wouldn't be taken very nicely LOL
Well, if the nicest thing one could say about Aunt Patty is that she was a crabby old lady, I think people should be honest. There's no point int trying to make her into a saint whenever who's ever met her knows she's a crab.
My grandfather was worse than Oscar the Grouch. My mother - his daughter - and I still talk about his crabbiness and we have some really good stories. Well, to us they're good stories. If you didn't know him well, then you'd have no idea who we were talking about! Man, he was a character!
Well, if the nicest thing one could say about Aunt Patty is that she was a crabby old lady, I think people should be honest. There's no point int trying to make her into a saint whenever who's ever met her knows she's a crab.
My grandfather was worse than Oscar the Grouch. My mother - his daughter - and I still talk about his crabbiness and we have some really good stories. Well, to us they're good stories. If you didn't know him well, then you'd have no idea who we were talking about! Man, he was a character!
The stories are great and some are funny and the family does talk about the more cantankerous relatives. They are colorful characters and you want to tell it like it is. When people mention praises that don't fit in with my memories I just answer in my own way so I don't feel like a hypocrite
The stories are great and some are funny and the family does talk about the more cantankerous relatives. They are colorful characters and you want to tell it like it is. When people mention praises that don't fit in with my memories I just answer in my own way so I don't feel like a hypocrite
Man....Aunt Patty was a pisser....damn I'm gonna miss her!
I remember seeing pictures of dead soldiers from the Civil War - the ground was covered with dead bodies and I was thinking how would they have been able to identify everyone - I don't think it was possible and that's why there are mass graves and the "lucky" families that did get their loved ones' bodies back would be grateful for what the embalming process could do - keep the bodies in good shape and in a condition that is in keeping with their dignity. The Egyptians were good at this with the mummifying process.
I looked up videos on youtube about Emily Dickinson's house and it is a beautiful house, even showed the room in which she wrote her poems in. It is wonderful that the family owned the house till the 1920s - I like that continuity. I am thinking they gave the house to Amherst then - didn't know that her grandfather founded the college! This was a excellent post - I would rep you again if I could, but the system doesn't let me.
Back to the Civil War - I guess they didn't have dog tags to identify the soldiers then, maybe that is something from later wars.
Oh, a great many were never identified and even at just one battle like Gettysburg, tens of thousands of dead were placed in mass graves, either due to inability to identify them or nobody was able to ship the soldier home for burial. So-called dog tags did not come into use until World War One; before that soldiers would either sew their name into their clothing or mark it in some way--others carried effects like letters which had identifying information in them...some casualties were ID's by comrades....also it was not so unusual for the dead to be interred on the property at home---many rural farms and estates have family burial grounds and time to time a property comes on the MLS with this included.
Emily Dickinson's house is beautiful--it was remodeled by her father, Edward Dickinson in 1854-55 to pretty much how it looks today. Her father also payed for the house next door, the Evergreens, which was a wedding present for his son, Emily's sister Austin. That house was built about 1857 and there too several people died in it: Austin in 1895, their 8-year old son Gilbert in 1884 and his wife Susan Gilbert in 1914--today the house it owned by Amherst College. The property both houses sit on had been owned by the Dickinson family since sometime in the mid-1700s when Amherst was in its earlier years of settlement as a farming town.
Last edited by Austin023; 11-16-2014 at 10:42 AM..
Reason: correction
I haven't put it in writing funeral arrangements, except for making sure they don't keep me alive on artificial means, hooked up to machines - that I do not want and I put that in writing.
For those who want the highest possible legal assurance of this, it is best to use the proper, legal form - an advance directive for your own state. Law varies between states, and (unfortunately) some states allow the family to override your wishes EVEN IF YOU HAVE SIGNED AN ADVANCE DIRECTIVE.
Still, the official form for your own state is the best insurance. Get yours here.
Oh, a great many were never identified and even at just one battle like Gettysburg, tens of thousands of dead were placed in mass graves, either due to inability to identify them or nobody was able to ship the soldier home for burial. So-called dog tags did not come into use until World War One; before that soldiers would either sew their name into their clothing or mark it in some way--others carried effects like letters which had identifying information in them...some casualties were ID's by comrades....also it was not so unusual for the dead to be interred on the property at home---many rural farms and estates have family burial grounds and time to time a property comes on the MLS with this included.
Emily Dickinson's house is beautiful--it was remodeled by her father, Edward Dickinson in 1854-55 to pretty much how it looks today. Her father also payed for the house next door, the Evergreens, which was a wedding present for his son, Emily's sister Austin. That house was built about 1857 and there too several people died in it: Austin in 1895, their 8-year old son Gilbert in 1884 and his wife Susan Gilbert in 1914--today the house it owned by Amherst College. The property both houses sit on had been owned by the Dickinson family since sometime in the mid-1700s when Amherst was in its earlier years of settlement as a farming town.
It is sad that a lot of Civil War soldiers that fell in battle never made it back home to their families, but were buried in unmarked graves or a mass burial. I think Gettysburg is hollowed ground and nothing can be built over it. Good thing dog tags were invented so that a soldier can be identified and returned to his family. The idea of families burying their loved ones on the property is kind of unsettling, but that was the thing that was done in those days - the families wanted their loved one close by. Good thing that the MLS would have that information disclosed because what if someone was doing major renovations on their property and they accidentally dug up the deceased? I read that sometimes all construction/renovation is halted in that case and the owner must locate the nearest kin to notify them that an ancestor of theirs was found on a property.
I really like the fact that little has been done to Emily Dickinson's house - that's the way it should always be with older homes, keep it to the original as much as possible. They even have her original furniture there - I'm not sure about the bed where she was embalmed though, but her small writing table is there. Amherst College is fortunate to have two such historic properties gifted to them. I wonder how much the houses would be worth if they were put on sale in today's market, probably millions despite what occurred within their walls. They are very beautiful properties and the fact that they are preserved and keeping to the original look would up their prices.
It is sad that a lot of Civil War soldiers that fell in battle never made it back home to their families, but were buried in unmarked graves or a mass burial. I think Gettysburg is hollowed ground and nothing can be built over it. Good thing dog tags were invented so that a soldier can be identified and returned to his family. The idea of families burying their loved ones on the property is kind of unsettling, but that was the thing that was done in those days - the families wanted their loved one close by. Good thing that the MLS would have that information disclosed because what if someone was doing major renovations on their property and they accidentally dug up the deceased? I read that sometimes all construction/renovation is halted in that case and the owner must locate the nearest kin to notify them that an ancestor of theirs was found on a property.
I really like the fact that little has been done to Emily Dickinson's house - that's the way it should always be with older homes, keep it to the original as much as possible. They even have her original furniture there - I'm not sure about the bed where she was embalmed though, but her small writing table is there. Amherst College is fortunate to have two such historic properties gifted to them. I wonder how much the houses would be worth if they were put on sale in today's market, probably millions despite what occurred within their walls. They are very beautiful properties and the fact that they are preserved and keeping to the original look would up their prices.
Well if burials are known to exist on the property, even if they are not marked, they must be discolsed by the seller--this is of usually stated in the MLS. But every now and then a grave is discovered by accident, like when digging for a swimming pool, etc. In that case whatever appropriate authority will investigate it, first to see if its a legitimate burial or if it was a crime scene. Oftentimes when a grave is discovered that was not marked, it is impossible to know who the identity of the remains found, though a study of old land records can provide clues.
If you want, look up this case, which is very fascinating as it deals with colonial era family burials found on old farmland during construction back in 1990:
(while the topic is focused on folklore, the manner in which they were discovered is on topic here, well as the ensuing archaeological dig which can disrupt a site):
If you were interested in a home to buy, and found out that one of the previous owners passed away (from natural causes) in that home, would that change your interest?
Please post reply yes or no - and give me reasons either way.
No, death from natural causes wouldn't deter me if I otherwise liked the house.
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Tell it like it is
