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View Poll Results: Would you rather live in a town you don't like near family or all alone somewhere else?
Near my family, try to make the best of it. 9 22.50%
Follow my heart to a city of my calling - I can always come back. 31 77.50%
Voters: 40. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 04-03-2016, 09:45 PM
 
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Say you are over age 50, since that probably should matter. I want to move - homes in safe areas are unaffordable here, and crime is a bit high and it is a bit downtrodden.

My only family is here, and I am not that close to them, but they are all I have. My parents are deceased and I have no siblings. Just cousins, etc.

I guess I am scared since I am a single, older female who is alone. I wish I had the courage to just pack up my sh*t, pack up the cats, and go.

Last edited by Eeko156; 04-03-2016 at 10:24 PM..
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Old 04-03-2016, 10:19 PM
 
4,295 posts, read 2,766,820 times
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Sorry, should probably have put this in the General Moving section.
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Old 04-03-2016, 10:51 PM
 
Location: Michissippi
3,120 posts, read 8,065,523 times
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If you're not close with them, then what is the benefit of living near them? What are you getting out of it? This seems to tie into your other thread which I haven't read for a while:

//www.city-data.com/forum/real-...-us-not-6.html

Is there a particular state or region that you'd like to live in? What is the "city of your calling"?
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Old 04-04-2016, 01:59 AM
 
36 posts, read 48,868 times
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I will stay near my family. It's tough to say when what happens, so if they need me I can reach to my family at a glance.
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Old 04-04-2016, 09:43 AM
 
4,295 posts, read 2,766,820 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bhaalspawn View Post
If you're not close with them, then what is the benefit of living near them? What are you getting out of it? This seems to tie into your other thread which I haven't read for a while:

//www.city-data.com/forum/real-...-us-not-6.html

Is there a particular state or region that you'd like to live in? What is the "city of your calling"?
I know it sounds selfish, but I worry if I get sick or injured, being all alone. At least here, I would have people. The same wouldn't really apply to them, because they have spouses, children, a huge church family, etc. They don't need me at all, but I need them.

I worry about the cancer coming back. When I had it before, my mom was still alive and we got through it together.
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Old 04-04-2016, 11:10 AM
 
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, 615' Elevation, Zone 8b - originally from SF Bay Area
44,585 posts, read 81,206,701 times
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I am living where I want to be with my wife, and left family and friends behind 22 years ago. Some family has ended up joining us here, but the others we see 1-2 times a year and it's not a big deal. We are a lot happier here and glad to have made the move.
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Old 04-04-2016, 11:33 AM
 
4,295 posts, read 2,766,820 times
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Originally Posted by Hemlock140 View Post
I am living where I want to be with my wife, and left family and friends behind 22 years ago. Some family has ended up joining us here, but the others we see 1-2 times a year and it's not a big deal. We are a lot happier here and glad to have made the move.
But would you have made that move alone, without a spouse?
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Old 04-04-2016, 03:02 PM
 
Location: Kansas City North
6,818 posts, read 11,548,200 times
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Don't mean to sound harsh, but if you aren't close to your cousins, why do you think they would "take care of you" if you had health problems?

I would move where I wanted, and work on developing a circle of friends, either through a church, senior center, clubs, neighbors that you could depend on, and coversely, could depend on you, if needed.

This, too, is my greatest fear in life....to be older and alone. I have 3 step daughters but if their father passed away, I'm not sure they would be there for me. My one sister lives 500 miles away and my other about 1,000,and I doubt the 1,000 mile one would cross the street to help me. We're kind of a dysfunctional family.
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Old 04-04-2016, 03:41 PM
 
4,295 posts, read 2,766,820 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Okey Dokie View Post
Don't mean to sound harsh, but if you aren't close to your cousins, why do you think they would "take care of you" if you had health problems?

I would move where I wanted, and work on developing a circle of friends, either through a church, senior center, clubs, neighbors that you could depend on, and coversely, could depend on you, if needed.

This, too, is my greatest fear in life....to be older and alone. I have 3 step daughters but if their father passed away, I'm not sure they would be there for me. My one sister lives 500 miles away and my other about 1,000,and I doubt the 1,000 mile one would cross the street to help me. We're kind of a dysfunctional family.
You are absolutely right, and I have considered that. I guess I worry about my three cats, too - even though my family would not take care of me, I like to think they would take in my cats (there are three households between them all, so it's not like all the cats would go to one person). OR, I suppose it is possible they would dispose of the cats. I have read about pet trusts, but they can be complicated.


I am sorry you are experiencing this similar situation yourself. But I am glad you posted this.
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Old 04-05-2016, 12:15 AM
 
Location: Kailua Kona, HI
3,199 posts, read 13,399,081 times
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Live where you will be happy. You will make friends that can be like family - I've done it twice in adulthood. It's painful to leave some but it was a decision I haven't regretted.
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