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"Not a drive-by!" - which, when translated from Realtor-speak to English, seems to mean "Yes, I know the curb appeal is terrible and/or the house looks like the size of a shoebox, but you need to come inside to appreciate it."
Frankly, as long as the exterior of the house looks to be in good repair and the landscaping is neat(-ish), I care considerably more about the inside of the house than the outside.
"Unusual", "unique", or "eclectic" floor plan. Translation: The floor plan makes zero sense. (Such as having all the bedrooms upstairs and the only bathroom downstairs.)
Also, "antique charm" usually translates to just plain old and dowdy.
Another one: "quiet and secluded" usually means it is located on an unpaved road at last 500 feet from any kind of street or highway. GREAT fun if you intend to live in it in any place that regularly sees a foot or more of snow in winter!
Oh, yes, and "Handyman's Special" and/or "Bring Your Imagination" and/or "The Possibilities are Endless"! Translation: Totally uninviting or usable in its current state.
P.S. Also, can anyone explain why the map location is sometimes "withheld at seller's request", even though if the address is given, it doesn't take much detective work to figure out where it is?
Calling anything built from 1940-1965 a "desirable mid-century modern".
That brick rancher from 1950 is not mid-century modern. I actually had one real estate agent brag about the god awful wood paneling in once place, saying "don't you just love that mid-century modern look".
"Chef's kitchen"= has a kitchen island. It can be a 5x5 kitchen with outdated appliances and they'll call it a chef's kitchen because there's an island.
No such thing as a chef's kitchen or professional kitchen inside a residential home.
The exhaust system alone would be tens of thousands of dollars for a professional range and you cannot have the stove without the exhaust system.
BlueHerons<----wife of Chef and Biologist by education and successful restaurateur by trade.
"Boutique", "Vintage".....just say old as hell and be done with it
I actually like "Honey, STOP THE CAR!!!" I always get this picture in my head of driving by the perfect home and creating skid marks trying to stop the car in my desperation to get inside LOLOL
but then when I get there in real life, I usually want to keep going
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