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Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
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I think, often, they think they might be able to change his mind if he had a good enough time with her. Not always, but it does happen. And they're sometimes right, it does happen. Just ask Elvin.
Why do you think they call it the 'Booty Call'?????
Coming off the dating scene, I would say its a mixed bag. Some women WANT sex after the 3rd or 4th date and if you don't make the advance, the simply think you could not possibly be interested. Many make it clear by drink #2 on date #3 that they are 'available' one way or another...{once while waiting for our main course at a nice North End trattoria my date was clearly moving the conversation to breakfast}. Other women who want a REALLY serious relationship take longer before they consummate the deal...generally speaking. But it is about attraction, and sometimes that initial interest is so intense that by the 3rd date, depending on what's been happening in the interim, it's almost a given. One woman said to me 'this fairy tale love thing is a joke, really. Adults need sex and people should just get over it. sure I might fall in love again someday but in the meantime, I need to get laid.'
It's a lot of women with "sex buddies". High five to women maintaining the friendships. Yes, some of us think with the "lady part" and think it's love. It's not, tho. It's only great great sex!
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Does it make sense to do it if you start thinking it's love? Why torture yourself if that's the case? Is the sex worth the emotional confusion/pain?
Does it make sense to do it if you start thinking it's love? Why torture yourself if that's the case? Is the sex worth the emotional confusion/pain?
If, it's not good for you, then don't do it.
Some women can. I'm friends with some. I have as well. He is a sweet guy and no strings. Nothing happened. No drama from him or me. We are very good freinds. All women don't think with their "lady part". That's a myth. Some do, I know. Not, all women, tho.
The woman you speaking of, she started wrong. She went into it thinking about the relationship. Thinking, if they had sex he would change his mind.
This is an interesting topic, and one I've ran into. I see it a lot, I don't know about everyone else. You hang out with a woman maybe just once or twice, and she'll use the terms "for fun, no strings, or sex buddies."
I think there are a couple reasons for it.
A) I think they think it is what guys want to hear.
B) I think they think it will help them bond and build chemistry.
It's not what I'm looking for, even though many may LOVE arrangements like this.
1) I don't need to have a constant sex companion. My sex drive is more connection driven, than just raw horniness. Women are right, it does build bonding...and if it's not somebody I see myself with for the rest of my life....it needlessly complicates things.
2) I'm probably a hopeless romantic. I was brought up that sex is a special gift two people give to each other, when they are in love. I want the next person I have sex with, to quite hopefully, be the last person I have sex with, in my life.
I agree with OP. I think women underestimate how sex is connected to emotions and vice versa. More so for women than men. I think they start off thinking they can do it, but get too involved and end up being hurt.
I was not a fan of casual sex and the reason for that was clearly in the fact that I needed to be completely and utterly crazy about a guy before getting it on with him. Therefore I couldn't just have sex with him, I needed more from him.
I think few women can be truly happy with casual sex arrangements, majority eventually would get too emotionally involved.
I also think JSizzle brought up a good point. Some women think that if they are openly proclaiming that they are not looking for a serious relationship and just looking for casual sex, than it somehow makes them look more desireable to men. It's like a man will start thinking: "Oh she is not expecting anything from me, I can just be myself with her". So a woman just says it because that's what she thinks a man likes to hear. However, 3 weeks later this same woman will be laying in bed and asking: "Where do you think this is going?"
This is an interesting topic, and one I've ran into. I see it a lot, I don't know about everyone else. You hang out with a woman maybe just once or twice, and she'll use the terms "for fun, no strings, or sex buddies."
I think there are a couple reasons for it.
A) I think they think it is what guys want to hear.
B) I think they think it will help them bond and build chemistry.
It's not what I'm looking for, even though many may LOVE arrangements like this.
1) I don't need to have a constant sex companion. My sex drive is more connection driven, than just raw horniness. Women are right, it does build bonding...and if it's not somebody I see myself with for the rest of my life....it needlessly complicates things.
2) I'm probably a hopeless romantic. I was brought up that sex is a special gift two people give to each other, when they are in love. I want the next person I have sex with, to quite hopefully, be the last person I have sex with, in my life.
Most women want and enjoy sex, but most women don't want casual sex. That said, a significant - though small - percentage ARE okay with it. It seems like many are already IN relationships, though! Funny how that works.
This girl once told me that women who are open to casual sex are off in the head...she said that there is no way that a woman from a healthy upbringing, and who has a healthy perception of her self worth is open to promiscuity...Not to confuse casual sex with promiscuity, but often the two go hand in hand.
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 20,001,245 times
Reputation: 9418
Quote:
Originally Posted by solytaire
This girl once told me that women who are open to casual sex are off in the head...she said that there is no way that a woman from a healthy upbringing, and who has a healthy perception of her self worth is open to promiscuity...Not to confuse casual sex with promiscuity, but often the two go hand in hand.
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