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They usually do have some kind of emotional thing going on. I've seen these women over the years--they can have ten single guys interested in them but they want to take a man who is with someone else.
I had a friend like this. All her relationships started out with someone who was either married or lived with another woman. This was a psychological no-brainer. Her father left her and her mother when she was little--turned out he had another woman and child on the side. Every single time in these relationships, she would "win" him, he'd leave his wife or girlfriend, they'd move in together and become engaged, and then the man would suddenly find someone else, dump her and marry the new girl. She was constantly repeating the same scenario over and over again when she lost Daddy to somebody else.
She eventually married an unattached man, going into the marriage with her head rather than her heart, but divorced him when she fell in love with another married man. She's now been dating the married man for seven years. His wife knows she exists but they will never get a divorce because of property and adult-children-with-problems issues.
Wow its very unfortunate she doesn't feel she's worthy of love.
Oh, how sad for her. She got it right once, then back-peddled. It's good that she understands that this one is NOT going to leave his wife for her.
Yes, she says she's realized that she's probably better off not getting what she wants because she might not like it if she gets it. And he does love her, he really does--but he has his own issues or he wouldn't be in the situation he's in, either.
My late mother-in-law hung onto a married man for TWENTY YEARS. He had a son with a heart condition and that was always the story--if he got divorced it would kill the son. My MIL and her boyfriend are both dead, and the son's probably still alive.
I believe that the women who do this are gonna end up alone and miserable, because karma is a b*tch. Anyone who would go out of their way to try and ruin someone else's happiness does not deserve to find any happiness of their own.
My friend's guy had a party for the holiday and everyone was having a good time and I noticed this one woman who made it appoint to be everywhere my friend's guy was and going out of her way to converse with him etc. Things appeared pretty dry on his end but he was being cordial toward her. I asked my friend did she know the woman and she said she wants to be his 'Wh***' and she knows her guy through another guy she was a 'Wh*** with.
I asked her how she felt knowing this woman is after her man and she said she doesn't care because if she ever get proof there's more than conversation going on between them then that will be a different issue but right now she's not concerned nor has he given her a reason to be.
So to women who go after men who are already involved what do you get out of it? Does it make you feel better about yourself to get attention from someone else's man? If so don't you feel bad when you see his woman on his arm and seeing the affection he has for her? I would like to know your honest thoughts on this?
There's nothing wrong with hitting on someone who's taken.
Nobody "owns" anyone.
The only thing that would be wrong is the person who's taken gives in to the temptation.
I pretty much agree. Most of them won't flirt unless they're getting some kind of response. If someone is "taken" then they are taken and that's that, but if they respond then they're not taken after all.
It's also not the same when it's just a dating relationship versus a marriage. If a dating relationship breaks apart - well that's life, but when a family is broken, that's something else.
Don't know what their psychology is and don't care. Any women who behaved like this in any of the groups I hang out with would be cut from the herd. I wouldn't be friends with any person like this. Any woman (or man) who behaved this way would never be invited back.
And thus I continue with my, mostly, drama-free life....
Yes, she says she's realized that she's probably better off not getting what she wants because she might not like it if she gets it. And he does love her, he really does--but he has his own issues or he wouldn't be in the situation he's in, either.
My late mother-in-law hung onto a married man for TWENTY YEARS. He had a son with a heart condition and that was always the story--if he got divorced it would kill the son. My MIL and her boyfriend are both dead, and the son's probably still alive.
I think the truth always is, that the man is just using the poor fool. Many women fall for the lies and end up with a cheating, liar, who never actually cares about them. It's always sad to see women fall for this type of trick. They might say they love the woman, over and over, but when the moment of truth comes out, well the guy never does anything to be with her.
I believe that the women who do this are gonna end up alone and miserable, because karma is a b*tch. Anyone who would go out of their way to try and ruin someone else's happiness does not deserve to find any happiness of their own.
I keep telling them this. If they want happyness and love they have to break that cycle of hurting and destroying others..... "do unto others as you would have done to you".
On a plus not, my roomate that is just this way announced she is moving out now.... sad, yet SOOOO releived at the same time.
there is nothing I can do to help her. She needs some sort of rehabilitation or something I think.
my first instinct is that they are selfish and repulsive
but then i think:
1. maybe they feel they arent WORTHY of a real, intimate, public relationship
2. perhaps they fear intimacy and going for an unavailable man is a way of dealing with this
(and of course proof of their desirability if the guy cheats on sig. for them)
Those are great points.
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