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It was all of the AC service talk that got to her.
Haha... I masked that one well!LOL...... Someone has a slim build and hates the blue collar guys for being LARGER?LOL....... Thanks for the compliment though bro!
Reality check my foot! It's all in your head. You need to read some books and stop being so emotional. Why are you lumping cops and firemen with guys who flip burgers or pour cement? Cops and firemen have some ambition; they do have worthwile pursuits such as the things they do for the community, etc..
All I am saying is that guys who have NO ambition (assuming that's what the OP is up against) and NO education, lessen their chances at landing a sophisticated, career driven lady. I did not say they/you could not land any lady; obviously anything is possible as there are equally uninspired females. We could put up a poll if you want to go there, to see how many women on this board would pick a bricklayer, pizza deliverer (or even a cop) over a CEO or M.D. or rich athletes/entertainers or other successful professional. I'm not really going to argue with anybody who has little to no higher education.
And I'm not trying to foment a huge argument here, but I'm sorry, having a higher education does not mean you're someday going to get hired in Heaven to be the Almighty's personal assistant...
In my travels, I've met some VERY learned, degreed folk, who don't hit people over the head with their assorted PHD's, MBA's, MD's, JD's, NBA's, NFL's, NAACP's (moral of this sentence---a bunch of letters after your name doesn't always get you a bigger piece of chicken from the box)...and I've met some supposedly 'higher educated' people who act like they're attending a convention of amnesiac detectives---they have no clue as to how anything in the real world works...
But back to topic...the OP needs to tell her so-called 'friend' to grab a hammer and pound salt, because her 'less-educated, SUPPOSEDLY unambitious guy' just may turn out to be a diamond in the rough, who will sweep her off her feet and, by her side, craft together a life of love, laughter, and extreme happiness...all of which have absolutely jack-poopie-NADA to do with degrees, professionalism, money, and titles...
And that's not emotion talking---that's straight-from-the-heart truth
i've resisted posting on this thread just because of the ignorance of the op's friend. I've seen many blue collar type of jobs make a ****load more money than other white collar "'professional" jobs. Its also true the other way around as well.
The bottom line is this. Not everyone is cutout or wants to be in a desk job type of job. Many smart and talented people are into the "doingness" of many blue collar jobs. Many other people are less handy and therefore a white collar desk job is more appropriate.
A perfect example is this. You have your type of people who desire to scale a mountain, others want to plan and or oversee the scaling of the mountain, some like to design and figure out how to solve problems in said mountain scaling, and those who like to makes sure all is well with the individuals who do the scaling.
Get it??
Its a synergy, no individual piece is better then the whole.
1. If she brings it up again, just tell her you understand her point and that it need not be discussed any further as you understand her pov. But she needs to respect your pov.
2. I agree with previous post regarding being careful about being with somebody for their "potential". Maybe 10% of potentials actually come to pass. Unless they guy is already admitted into the great postgraduate program or has an entrance into a great job, I wouldn't count on "potential". Lots of people have potential, but few actually fulfill it. if you find yourself being disturbed by your friend's train of thought maybe there is something to be said.
3. Two outcomes for younger guys - get married quickly but then the marriage fails because they suddenly realize at age 28+ that they are not ready... or they just have no intention of getting serious until they have developed more. Have seen it time and again.
Hopefully someone can give me some insight on the topic.
I am in a pretty new relationship with someone that has less education than I do, I personally do not mind. I am 25 and he is 22.
BUT. A couple of days ago i was given the "talk" by a friend. "Hes younger than you, he has no education.... "(and please I know that 3 years is really not much of a age difference but bear with me here....)
My problem is that even though the relationship is new, i was VERY OFFENDED by her comments which started with "oh, no I would NEVER settle for ...." and I by no means settled or have settled for him but i just thought that it was very judgemental of her part to say those things.
I am very good friends with her and let me say that because of her way of thinking she always goes for guys who treat her badly, and mopes around most of the time listening to sad songs and practically wanting to slit her wrists when MJ died. (NO OFFENSE TO THE MJ FANS OUT THERE! - JUST TO SAY THAT SHE IS A VERY VERYY EMOTIONAL PERSON)
So in other words i myself don't "settle" I see his potential and I have always thought that yea, love isn't going to pay the bills, but at the same time, money isn't everything.
How do i try and balance her comments and the way i feel about him... ?
Does this friend take up other people's exs as habit? I don't trust advice from people who have not been proven to be looking out for my best interest in the same type of situation.
Also he is 22. He is a baby. The fact that he is a hard worker is good enough and better than most his age. He may get sick of whatever he is doing now and go to school later on. Many people do that. Besides, its not good financial planning to depend on another and your living costs should be covered by 50% of your total income if you want to live safely within your means and be able to should lay offs etc.If you are in a relationship for the LT and there is not enough money to meet your life goals you should be able to openly discuss it and make changes together. Job changes and promotions and what adults just go for when they see the need.
You are 25 now so you should start making your 5-10-20-50 year plan financially and with your life. When you lay out the numbers you may see your dreams are more expensive than you thought. Then you have to ask yourself is it worth the compromise.
She may just be repeating what her mother says to her.
Unless their concerns are about they way your boyfriend treats you - ignore your friends.
Don't let your parents or friends pick your mate. Afterall - you have to spend time with the person, not them. Only you know what brings joy and happiness in your life.
So many people settle for a "safe" marriage to a so-called equal, only to find out they gave up love.
There are many ambitious and intelligent people out there that can bring "something special" to a relationship - education and money are not the end all.
. . . its not good financial planning to depend on another and your living costs should be covered by 50% of your total income if you want to live safely within your means and be able to should lay offs etc.If you are in a relationship for the LT and there is not enough money to meet your life goals you should be able to openly discuss it and make changes together.
. . .
She may just be repeating what her mother says to her.
Absolutely agree with pitt_transplant.
The only time money should be an issue is when a couple insists on living a life that their income can't afford.
Hopefully someone can give me some insight on the topic.
I am in a pretty new relationship with someone that has less education than I do, I personally do not mind. I am 25 and he is 22.
BUT. A couple of days ago i was given the "talk" by a friend. "Hes younger than you, he has no education.... "(and please I know that 3 years is really not much of a age difference but bear with me here....)
My problem is that even though the relationship is new, i was VERY OFFENDED by her comments which started with "oh, no I would NEVER settle for ...." and I by no means settled or have settled for him but i just thought that it was very judgemental of her part to say those things.
I am very good friends with her and let me say that because of her way of thinking she always goes for guys who treat her badly, and mopes around most of the time listening to sad songs and practically wanting to slit her wrists when MJ died. (NO OFFENSE TO THE MJ FANS OUT THERE! - JUST TO SAY THAT SHE IS A VERY VERYY EMOTIONAL PERSON)
So in other words i myself don't "settle" I see his potential and I have always thought that yea, love isn't going to pay the bills, but at the same time, money isn't everything.
How do i try and balance her comments and the way i feel about him... ?
I think you need to re-valuate your friendship. She is a mess, why would you listen to her? You are fine my dear! And young! Give it time. Tell her go get another loser boyfriend then come back to me with your dumb advice.
Real man? There are finer examples of men than those who lay bricks, drink beer, and have no ambition. How is that going to work when you're all grown up and a real LADY asks, "so what do you do for a living?"
Cement worker: "I'm a c'ment pourer and went up to 12th grade!"
Real Lady: "You know I just realized, I have to be somewhere tomorrow morning." The end.
Let's be honest. Most women want rich athletes, doctors, lawyers, businessmen, and other professionals. We could put a poll up and I bet I'd be right.
Not really this age is the age of educated women, who have a good job and need a man that is not so into what suit he is wearing and where from. Most men at these times have gone backwards. They are sissies. Do more girlie things than I do. Most are sooo borderline metrosexual...it's cutting it close to the line of gay.
You know, this is when we're all supposed to dance around and say the politically correct things, such as true love crossing all boundaries, overcoming all obstacles, blah blah blah blahbity blah.
Let's dispense with the pabulum for a moment, because your friend has valid concerns that deserve exploration on your part before you embark on a long-term relationship with this guy.
Love is a beautiful thing. And I've seen it work successfully across class, ethnic, educational, and religious lines. But you need to be aware that broad differences are cultural, and affect an entire universe of approaches to marriage, children, careers, money, etc. etc. In other words, it's not all about scorching the sheets. You have to keep a relationship going by building something together. And you have to have something to talk about the morning after the night before.
In that sense, you need to really take a close look at this guy before getting serious. Does he take the least interest in the things you get passionate about? Is he somebody with whom you can have long and interesting conversations? Is this somebody you can see yourself having equally interesting conversations with when you're 45? Will this person grow intellectually, or will he be the same guy you knew in 2010? I've known many a woman who married a good-looking and funny guy at the age of 23, only to rue their marriage after 20-25 years of incredibly tedious dinnertime conversations.
And do not think for a second that you will change his core personality. Many a woman has succumbed to that conceit, only to learn to their sorrow that you can only change the clothes in his closet, not the person himself. If you're thinking to yourself, "But he has so much potential," then you are fooling yourself. If he's not motivated enough to find his own potential in life, then you're not going to be able to help him one bit.
The clue, of course, is buried in your screen name, HopelessRomantic. Just make sure you're marrying a flesh-and-blood person who can satisfy you intellectually, emotionally, and physically in the decades to come. That doesn't require a degree, but it sure as heck requires intelligence and curiosity.
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Someone has a slim build and hates the blue collar guys for being LARGER?LOL.......
Thanks for the compliment though bro!
Okay...I'll See Your 'No' And Raise You...
