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I am just going for coffee and dinners etc, no one gets a kiss goodnight or anything, but it feels weird...
Like I know it is just a date, and guys date around and think it is all great and fun etc, but I feel like some betrayer or something....
Like I don't want to lead anyone on, or get anyones hopes up, but guys sufe can make you feel guilty....
They really act like they like you soooo much, and then you feel like a turd for going on a date with someone else the next day, even though you are not with anyone yet, and are being "just friends" with everybody.
they are probly dating around too, and I don't care that they do it, but man, the guilt feeling.
I know this is what people do these days, but I am not luvin it....
You can't get bothered by men who get upset when you are honest and telling them that you have other things going on that they are not the only thing in your life. The fact is you are SINGLE and if a guy can't accept it then oh well. You should continue dating and just know that not all men make you feel like that.
If you need to take a break from dating, do so but don't give up altogether on it. Dating can be fun and it can turn into something but you also have to have the right attitude heading into it. For one - not being so serious about it.
Good luck!
then don't do it. Just have friends and go out with them. If you dont want to date no one is making you do it
It is kinda hard NOT to in Vancouver... you just smile, or ask someone directions, or pretty much stand around and someone is asking you to do something.
That is another part I hate about being single, feeling so guilty turning people DOWN.....
Ever since I got rid of my roommate, the one who jumped all over all of the guys, now I am solo and it is weird.
I guess knowing everyone since kindergarden, then being in the city now, I have to learn how to politly reject people, I hate hurting peoples feelings though, it plain sucks.
I wish I had a boy friend so I could use use that as an excuse.
Every time I say no, I feel bad, and I mostly haven't wanted a second date yet, so feel terrible every time I say "no thanks"...
Yeah, what is my problem anyways.... this probly isn't normal is it?
In the dating arena, I just feel like I haven't reached adulthood...
You just need to work on your confidence - so when you have to say reject someone, you don't worry about it so much. It's life, we all have been and will continue to have some level of rejection. You have to be able to deliver it with confidence so that it doesn't affect you though. If you feel like you're not mentally ready for dating, take a break. Revisit when you've grown up some more.. no one says you HAVE to date. Ya know?
I am just going for coffee and dinners etc, no one gets a kiss goodnight or anything, but it feels weird...
Like I know it is just a date, and guys date around and think it is all great and fun etc, but I feel like some betrayer or something....
Like I don't want to lead anyone on, or get anyones hopes up, but guys sufe can make you feel guilty....
They really act like they like you soooo much, and then you feel like a turd for going on a date with someone else the next day, even though you are not with anyone yet, and are being "just friends" with everybody.
they are probly dating around too, and I don't care that they do it, but man, the guilt feeling.
I know this is what people do these days, but I am not luvin it....
Did I miss something? What do you owe these guys other than common courtesy and respect? You went out once. You just met. There's no relationship; you owe no debt of loyalty or duty to these guys. WHY are you making yourself feel guilty when you owe him nothing more than common courtesy?
So who are you carrying all those guilt-bricks for? Because you're the only one expecting you to carry them. Why not just put the bricks down?
Quote:
Originally Posted by misswee
It is kinda hard NOT to in Vancouver... you just smile, or ask someone directions, or pretty much stand around and someone is asking you to do something.
That is another part I hate about being single, feeling so guilty turning people DOWN.....
Ever since I got rid of my roommate, the one who jumped all over all of the guys, now I am solo and it is weird.
I guess knowing everyone since kindergarden, then being in the city now, I have to learn how to politly reject people, I hate hurting peoples feelings though, it plain sucks.
I wish I had a boy friend so I could use use that as an excuse.
Every time I say no, I feel bad, and I mostly haven't wanted a second date yet, so feel terrible every time I say "no thanks"...
You're not responsible for their feelings. It's not your job to make them happy. You owe them respect, nothing more. "No thanks" is a complete answer; it doesn't require justification or explanation.
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Did I miss something? What do you owe these guys other than common courtesy and respect? You went out once. You just met. There's no relationship; you owe no debt of loyalty or duty to these guys. WHY are you making yourself feel guilty when you owe him nothing more than common courtesy? 
