What does it mean exactly, to "put a woman on a pedestal"? (women, love)

[Phoenix2017]

Just wondering...what does it mean exactly, to "put a woman on a pedestal"? I guess I have something of a vague, rough idea about what it means, but I have seen the phrase used regularly by people on C-D, and was hoping I could get a little more info please on what it means to you in particular?

(I guess I personally, had always thought that maybe putting a girl on a pedestal meant, "being willing to do anything needed, to make someone you love feel happy"? In other words, that it wasn't necessarily always a "bad" thing? But perhaps I am being somewhat naive here? )

[DennyCrane]

I tend to think of it as elevating a person to a level where you think they're more important than you, where their needs matter more than yours, and where you're too willing to forgive their mistakes or overlook their faults. A lot of guys do this. They see the person for what they wish or imagine them to be, not what they really are. A relationship where you've done this can't last because you've set it up to be a one where it's unequal. You'll end up doing more for her than she does for you. Over time, that just leads to resentment and feeling taken for granted.

[GoPadge]

I've always viewed it as having unrealistic expectations of perfection and/or willfully ignoring a woman's faults. The danger is that once the newness wears off the relationship the man tends to react poorly to the realization that the woman isn't perfect and has human flaws.

My guess is that many bitter men are transferring their anger at themselves for ignoring their ex's faults onto their ex. For a good example talk to a couple of divorced men, and I'm sure you'll hear one mention the ex in VERY negative terms.

[Rakin]

It means you were caught doing something you weren't suppose to do and you better do some serious kissing up and treat her like the princess she was born to be.

[andreaspercheron]

Originally Posted by DennyCrane

I tend to think of it as elevating a person to a level where you think they're more important than you, where their needs matter more than yours, and where you're too willing to forgive their mistakes or overlook their faults. A lot of guys do this. They see the person for what they wish or imagine them to be, not what they really are. A relationship where you've done this can't last because you've set it up to be a one where it's unequal. You'll end up doing more for her than she does for you. Over time, that just leads to resentment and feeling taken for granted.

I tend to agree with Dennycrane. He said it pretty much the way I would have.

The only thing I'd add or maybe change slightly is that yes some men do this and the woman really isn't worth all the fuss they make but there are some genuine men who really put their women ahead of everything, cater to their needs, really truly adore them and worship the ground they walk on and in these cases I've seen, the woman really does deserve it. She is that quintessential stay-at-home Mom who's home is always perfect, kids are well behaved, has a sit-down dinner for her family ready every night when her man comes home and they have a genuinely solid relationship and too, he's a good guy too. They kind of worship each other. He brings flowers, etc... It's a very meshed relationship. I think in cases like that a man putting a woman on a "pedestal" is okay.

[le roi]

Originally Posted by Knight2009

Just wondering...what does it mean exactly, to "put a woman on a pedestal"?

to treat her like more than a normal human being who eats, sleeps, poops, and lies like everyone else.

Originally Posted by Knight2009

(I guess I personally, had always thought that maybe putting a girl on a pedestal meant, "being willing to do anything needed, to make someone you love feel happy"? In other words, that it wasn't necessarily always a "bad" thing? But perhaps I am being somewhat naive here? )

it needs to be a two-way street. If she's not demonstrating that same level of concern for your happiness and well-being, then yes you're being naive about the nature of your relationship, which will probably be over soon enough anyways.

[Phoenix2017]

Many thx Denny and Andrea for the helpful feedback! Also thx to everyone else who answered also.

Originally Posted by DennyCrane

I tend to think of it as elevating a person to a level where you think they're more important than you, where their needs matter more than yours, and where you're too willing to forgive their mistakes or overlook their faults. A lot of guys do this. They see the person for what they wish or imagine them to be, not what they really are. A relationship where you've done this can't last because you've set it up to be a one where it's unequal. You'll end up doing more for her than she does for you. Over time, that just leads to resentment and feeling taken for granted.

[Kazz]

If she's on a pedestal,you can look up her dress.

[Phoenix2017]

Thanks for the valuable feedback le roi No worries, in my case so far anyway, the girl I'm in a relationship with atm, is completely reciprocating caring about my needs and happiness as well to me, and being very loving, affectionate, and caring to me...every day she tells me how much she loves, and misses me, so very much Every day, I receive a new term of endearment from her, or sweet tender expression of her feelings, for me. <*joyful sigh, blissfully happy right now*>

ETA: she and I talk for hours and hours, every day, lol...and she's the only gal, I have ever been able to do that with, and reach that level of chemistry, with.

Originally Posted by le roi

it needs to be a two-way street. If she's not demonstrating that same level of concern for your happiness and well-being, then yes you're being naive about the nature of your relationship, which will probably be over soon enough anyways.

[Rakin]

Seriously, women IMO should be respected but not put on a pedestal.

She needs to walk at your side hand in hand as an equal and respected partner. She can't do that from an elevated platform.