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Is it ok to flirt with other people when you are married?? If the answer is yes--how far do we go with the flirting??? Touching hand??? Winks?? Flirty Smile??? Blowing kisses???
A spouse's flirting may be a sign of insecurity or an outlet for self destructive behavior. A married couple brings home decisions made independently throughout their day. The trust a spouse has in the other has to be whole-hearted and given completely. If your partner is a flirt then you need to learn if they are truly committed to your relationship or just afraid of being alone. To continually test your desirability is like reading the first page of a novel over and over. You don't retain a thing making the next page meaningless. Flirting can happen innocently and be interpreted as a compliment. To actively pursue the opportunity I think is a fixation on the hunt.
Some couples are okay with flirting, and some are not. I don't think it's right; it breeds mistrust and insecurity and can often seem like a come on. I think the problem is is that some spouses think because they are married, and the people they are flirting with know this, they think it won't be taken seriously, so it is okay--they just assume that other people just know that he or she would never cheat. However, many people do take it seriously.
I think my husband does occasionally come off as a flirt, especially if he has been drinking; I think he likes the attention. I find it to be incredibly disrespectful and hurtful. When I try to address it with him, he either says he wasn't flirting, or that I don't trust him which becomes a huge huge issue. I would dismiss what he says as bullsh*t, if I didn't have similar issues with past boyfriends--I thought they were flirtatious or worried that they would or were cheating on me, and their responses were the same. This all stems from two horrible past experiences with men--being cheated on and lied to, as well as a sexual assault. So I do my best to let go and trust, but I don't think I will ever get to a place with anyone in which I could say "I know so and so would never do this or that." I just don't believe we ever really "know", but we can certainly take a leap of faith and believe.
Sorry to be so personal--apparently this topic hit a nerve with me!
I have full trust in my husband. I know he loves me and he will always be with me. It is unrealistic to think that he won't flirt. It is unrealistic to think that I won't flirt. He works a lot, I am out with the kids at their sporting events. There are guys who flirt with me and I am totally okay with it. I know I would never do anything to hurt my husband so who cares? I don't flirt in an overly sexual way nor do I give the guys the impression that they could ever get anywhere with me.
Just because we are married does not mean we have to walk around with our heads to the ground.
I love the fact that a guy and I can have an upbeat conversation and then I get to come home to the man I love. Flirting is just a way to feel alive in a innocent way.
You should add a poll maybe. But, yes to an extent. No touching or too much with the same person. Obviously that gives them the WRONG impression and it would your spouse.
If you can tell the difference between flirting and FLIRTING, then it's OK and fun. My husband and I do it all the time, even when we are sitting or standing close together. However, never would I do any serious flirting with someone who might take it seriously.
If you don't know the difference or don't know how another person (including the spouse) will take it, then DON'T do it. It's not worth the problems that it could cause.
I am a very friendly and happy person by nature, and have been told that men have mistaken my actions (never physically touched or acted like I was flirting) I was just being me....never really had the desire to flirt when I was dating or married. Though I love to talk to men and listen to their stories...as I'm not into soap operas, shopping or gossip. But, I was just never attracted to anyone else when I was with someone....I don't believe it's a good idea....it not only shows an insecurity, but also, disrespect for your mate. If one must go that far, then leave them first so as not to hurt their hearts and minds.
I don't think flirting is a good idea if u r married. U certainly shouldn't be blowing kisses or touching anyone other than your spouse. It's too dangerous to your marriage. "If u give the devil a ride it wont be long before he's driving u." Harmless flirting may take u somewhere u don't want to go. Plus, your spouse deserves more respect than that.
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