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People will always be attracted to one another, so go ahead and have a little fun and flirt if both can handle it.
If you go into flirting with the idea that you're gonna bed that person down, then it probably will happen eventually.
Temptation happens but that's where people need to learn how to control themselves.
We can certainly control our actions. What concerns me here and what I'm driving at is that sometimes our heart seems to have a mind of its own. Even if nothing physical comes of the flirtation, what about emotions that can come out of it? Especially if the person you are flirting with is not just someone you'll see one time and that's it? What if this is someone you work with, etc.? And again, maybe we know where our own head and heart is, but what about the person we're flirting with?
We can certainly control our actions. What concerns me here and what I'm driving at is that sometimes our heart seems to have a mind of its own. Even if nothing physical comes of the flirtation, what about emotions that can come out of it? Especially if the person you are flirting with is not just someone you'll see one time and that's it? What if this is someone you work with, etc.? And again, maybe we know where our own head and heart is, but what about the person we're flirting with?
what the heck kind of flirting are you doing?
I think me and songinthewind are just talking about casual, hi, hello, you look very handsome today, winking, casual smile, etc.
We're talking about casual flirting here, not the "I want to bed everybody down" kind of flirting done in the late 60's.
I agree the heart does have a mind of its own and so does every other body part but with age comes wisdom and we should know how to control temptations after a certain age.
I think me and songinthewind are just talking about casual, hi, hello, you look very handsome today, winking, casual smile, etc.
I'm not even sure I'd call that flirting! Just being friendly. (well, the winking might be over the edge!) I'm thinking more of more overt flirting and again, possibly with people that you see on a more continual basis. That's just one of my many "soapboxes" -that (married) men and women need to be careful that they are not crossing certin boundaries in their friendships with the opposite sex.
Okay, I went to the dictionary.com for a working definition of "flirting." The first and only appropriate definition said something like "to make playful romantic or sexual overtures to someone." I would say that goes beyond being friendly and is inappropriate for married people. Just kaykay's opinion. I'll bow out of this "fllirting" discussion now! (Remember I'm old and old-fashioned! LOL!)
Last edited by kaykay; 09-10-2007 at 05:42 PM..
Reason: clarify definition of the word
Hello everyone, Id just like to put my two cents in here. You know, over the years, Ive seen several marriages destroyed because of flirting between men and women where I work at. And what really kills me, is when these little deals do get out of hand, and actually do lead to secret romances, men and women alike, always start that old silly stuff about; I dont know "how" it happened. I once confidentually told one married woman that I really cared about her and her husband. And, I told her that myself, and others had noticed how progressive her and this other mans workplace flirting had become. She thanked me for caring, but assured me that it was all just fun stuff, and that she would NEVER cheat on her husband. But, she did. She is now divorced, and so is the man she cheated with, but they are not together. My fiancee and I are both middle age people, so its not that big of an issue with us. Still, we both agree that flirting with sexual overtones is both disrespectful and dangerous to most couples. So, based on what Ive seen in my time, Id have to say that I dont believe flirting to be a good thing. Just my opinion.
Flirting is fine as long as it is innocent no biggy but there is a fine line and what or were that line is naturally varies on the situation, guys are going to take flirting one way women the other, some it will never go anywhere but quickly dismissed but yet others it could lead down that wrong road, workplace it could lead to others thinking not what the flirter is thinking, it could lead to embarrassment on one or the other thus possibly ruining the relationship that was along with disruption among the workplace, outside of the workplace someone you have known again not a biggy within reason but one not well known could become a not so pleasant thing, another problem it could create is jealousy and we all know that little monster that lurks inside us all can become a nasty little critter in some.
Another thing you see that may not really fit into this thread but it does happen would be things that happen online, oh yea the old hide behind the computer and one becomes superman or superwoman, when I was a younger chipper of a lad and when chat rooms were the thing I saw some stuff in those , then there were chat rooms with these fake avatar like people, but anyway there was some heavy duty flirting going on in those things along with ahhh well you know.
Does that constitute flirting, I sure think it does and a lot of that goes way over the line along with a lot of it going on behind the others back, so flirting one way or the other most definitely can prove destructive if let go astray.
To me, it isn't a good idea. I think you could be opening up a dangerous door. I love my husband with all that I am and I would not ever want to do something that would hurt him, even if I percieved it as innocent. I think being friendly is a great thing. flirting to me is dangerous.
I agree with little_thirsty... wink wink.. nudge nudge..
Is it ok to flirt with other people when you are married?? If the answer is yes--how far do we go with the flirting??? Touching hand??? Winks?? Flirty Smile??? Blowing kisses???
flirting in the southern sense is part of the culture.
strong morees and social practices keep it limited and keep good boundaries.rendering it fairly harmless not to mention southern society watches over its own like a hawk.(and yes talk about them when they misbehave)
but flirting, practiced in the california sense and style where boundaries are already blurry, its may often be having fun at somebody elses expense. i mean divorce, i am told, is not the same rate throughout the nation, Los Angeles, i am told, runs bout 75%. another stat recently quoted is that only 20% of people are still married after 25 years. so if you dont have much glue, or a very low grade glue, in the first place, why give it the acid test?
in a recent tv lecture by a very talented rabbi, on relationships, he pointed out the obvious, marriages and friendships are weaker than they were 60 years ago. we live in an opportunistic period where people do a lot of trading up. loyality places a much lower role. is flirting you best bet? are you feeling lucky?
I'm a guy that's single.I'm not a shining example when it comes to sex and relationships...I've had a few one or two night stands.But one thing I never do is mess with a married woman....if I know she is married.
Specially if I know the guy and never ever would I mess with a friends wife.A friend and his wife once asked me to ugh...join them,won't do it....she was pretty hot but I just feel wrong about.There are plenty of single women to get my kicks with.
Some people like swinging,or whatever..just don't dig that.But to each their own.But then again those that like that know about it,that's different then going behind your partners back.
But any kind of hand touching or "some other type of touching" is not accpcetable ( at least to me ) if you are married.
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Not a good habit, I dont think
and when chat rooms were the thing I saw some stuff in those 
