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The benefit of marriage to me is knowing that I can bare my soul to one person, and they will never leave or share those secrets with anyone else. I can go through deep depression, joyous occasions, and everything in between, and my spouse will be there beside me through it all. I will do the same for him.
The shared goals and finances can come with/without marriage, as can sex. It's the promise of sharing a bond with only that person. Knowing my husband had a relationship (sexual, romantic, or otherwise) with another person would definitely change the level of trust I had in our relationship.
Dunno. Maybe people can put up concrete walls and say "I will be purely emotional with you" and "I will be purely physical with you". I can't see it that way though.
What makes you think that folks who are in open marriages/relationships don't share these same ideals?
The benefit of marriage to me is knowing that I can bare my soul to one person, and they will never leave or share those secrets with anyone else. I can go through deep depression, joyous occasions, and everything in between, and my spouse will be there beside me through it all. I will do the same for him.
The shared goals and finances can come with/without marriage, as can sex. It's the promise of sharing a bond with only that person. Knowing my husband had a relationship (sexual, romantic, or otherwise) with another person would definitely change the level of trust I had in our relationship.
It would change the level of trust you have in your relationship because that's how you're wired... nothing wrong with that. It does not change the level of trust I have in my relationships, because that's how I'm wired... and there's nothing wrong with that, either.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CaliTerp07
Dunno. Maybe people can put up concrete walls and say "I will be purely emotional with you" and "I will be purely physical with you". I can't see it that way though.
I've never been able to do that... which is probably why I've had so few romantic/sexual relationships in my life.
I could not really have a true "open relationship," where we were randomly partnering up with different people throughout our lives. But most people don't understand that there are different types of non-monogamy, such as polygamy (polygyny & polyandry), polyamory, open relationships, swinging, threesomes, etc. They're not the same thing, and the "rules" are generally quite different in each.
Unfortunately, they tend to get lumped together... and it can make discussing them very confusing.
Should the definition of adultery be revised to include "without the consent of your spouse?"
Most people who want to have another sex partner know their spouse and most know the response they will receive if they try and discuss having an Open Relationships.
There is the thrill factor but usually it's the old "It's easier to ask forgiveness then permission". This is one place where asking forgiveness is probably worse but most who have affairs hope they never reach that point.
Open relationships fall into the "Can make a good relationship great or a bad relationship worse" category. If anyone tried it who was not in a stable, solid relationship with extremely high communication would be asking for a disaster.
But it got me to thinking, if I had to pick which is better between an open relationship, or having an affair. I would have to say it would be an open relationship. And yet in my opinion, affairs are more frequent.
Why are affairs more common then open relationships?
Affairs are open relationships in which only one party is privy to the fact that it is an open relationship.
A lot of people want an open relationship, but only for themselves.
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