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Was there ever a time where you just felt like you didn't have any friends?
Recently, I've just been feeling this way, where none of my friends have called me (granted that the fall semester just started about a month ago). I'm the one who ends of calling people, just wanting to have a chat. Hardly anyone calls me just to talk during the school year. I didn't really get to see my friends near home this summer, due to summer classes and my internship (I lived on the college campus). That made me a bit depressed. It just seems like they're only interested in socializing with me when I'm back at home. I'm just sick of always being the person who has to initiate both the conversation and the idea to hang out. It also doesn't help that my apartment mates are too "busy" being wrapped up in their own lives to care. I know that people are busy and have things to tend to, but it wouldn't hurt others to put in at least a little effort.
Even my mom is starting to worry. I'm not using my allowance of peak minutes nearly as much as I used to a few months back. She's pretty much the only person I call on a regular basis. This is pathetic.
I've been depressed since the beginning of the summer since I didn't really like my summer situation with the summer classes, internship, breakup w/ boyfriend, and a cousin of mine passed away. Summer just plain old sucked, period. The internship ended a few days ago, technically, and I started to feel a lot better. I want to be happy, but I feel like as soon as I start to feel somewhat happy and free, I immediately get depressed about something else that's been bothering me. I've been thinking about joining a club at school, but I just don't make friends easily.
I don't have any advice for you. I don't have any friends right now, and I only allow myself to have one at any given time. I tend to be solitary. Obviously, you are interested in being more social, and in having friends, so we come from different paths.
Was there ever a time where you just felt like you didn't have any friends?
Recently, I've just been feeling this way, where none of my friends have called me (granted that the fall semester just started about a month ago). I'm the one who ends of calling people, just wanting to have a chat. Hardly anyone calls me just to talk during the school year. I didn't really get to see my friends near home this summer, due to summer classes and my internship (I lived on the college campus). That made me a bit depressed. It just seems like they're only interested in socializing with me when I'm back at home. I'm just sick of always being the person who has to initiate both the conversation and the idea to hang out. It also doesn't help that my apartment mates are too "busy" being wrapped up in their own lives to care. I know that people are busy and have things to tend to, but it wouldn't hurt others to put in at least a little effort.
Even my mom is starting to worry. I'm not using my allowance of peak minutes nearly as much as I used to a few months back. She's pretty much the only person I call on a regular basis. This is pathetic.
I've been depressed since the beginning of the summer since I didn't really like my summer situation with the summer classes, internship, breakup w/ boyfriend, and a cousin of mine passed away. Summer just plain old sucked, period. The internship ended a few days ago, technically, and I started to feel a lot better. I want to be happy, but I feel like as soon as I start to feel somewhat happy and free, I immediately get depressed about something else that's been bothering me. I've been thinking about joining a club at school, but I just don't make friends easily.
What should I do?
It may just be a time of transition in your life right now. This is going to happen over and over again as the decades go on, trust me. Think of it as sort of a time when you are preparing to go through a growth spurt. It does feel depressing, but it will force change and growth in you personally.
Join that club, and if that doesn't work out, find another one.
Besides, you have had some very real Big Life Events there. Ending a relationship is tough, and I'm sorry you lost your cousin, too. Go easy on yourself, please. Grief takes time to heal.
One more practical bit of advice. If you don't keep a journal, try writing even a paragraph each day about how you are feeling and what you are doing. There's an expression I like: "I write to find out what I know." It will help you find out more about yourself.
You sound overwhelmed. You've had a rough summer and the bad outweighed the good. Stay active and keep your mind occupied. When you're feeling this way the worst thing is to have too much time on your hands to think. Whatever activities you can get involved with without jeopardizing your grades I'd say go for it. Great way to stay busy and meet new people.
As for your friends back home, it's only normal that they won't call you as often. You are the one who left and your life has changed since. Their life has pretty much stayed the same since you left and they are still surrounded by their family and friends. They have that comfy support system around them that you do not. You're the one who is going to feel alienated and because you are isolated from all of them, you're the one missing them more and loneliness sets in. Don't be too hard on them, they're just getting on with their life. Your 20's are a tough time and everyone is still trying to feel their way around. Focus on making new friends over time and maintain contact with the ones who you truly cherish.
Was there ever a time where you just felt like you didn't have any friends?
Recently, I've just been feeling this way, where none of my friends have called me (granted that the fall semester just started about a month ago). I'm the one who ends of calling people, just wanting to have a chat. Hardly anyone calls me just to talk during the school year. I didn't really get to see my friends near home this summer, due to summer classes and my internship (I lived on the college campus). That made me a bit depressed. It just seems like they're only interested in socializing with me when I'm back at home. I'm just sick of always being the person who has to initiate both the conversation and the idea to hang out. It also doesn't help that my apartment mates are too "busy" being wrapped up in their own lives to care. I know that people are busy and have things to tend to, but it wouldn't hurt others to put in at least a little effort.
Even my mom is starting to worry. I'm not using my allowance of peak minutes nearly as much as I used to a few months back. She's pretty much the only person I call on a regular basis. This is pathetic.
I've been depressed since the beginning of the summer since I didn't really like my summer situation with the summer classes, internship, breakup w/ boyfriend, and a cousin of mine passed away. Summer just plain old sucked, period. The internship ended a few days ago, technically, and I started to feel a lot better. I want to be happy, but I feel like as soon as I start to feel somewhat happy and free, I immediately get depressed about something else that's been bothering me. I've been thinking about joining a club at school, but I just don't make friends easily.
What should I do?
Hang in there.
I have no friends either. If I sit around all day or night no one would call me either.
Take the time to get to know yourself. Don't get depressed over it. Just do what makes you happy and maybe someone will bump into you who enjoys doing the same thing. Hopefully it won't be skinning dipping.
Was there ever a time where you just felt like you didn't have any friends?
Recently, I've just been feeling this way, where none of my friends have called me (granted that the fall semester just started about a month ago). I'm the one who ends of calling people, just wanting to have a chat. Hardly anyone calls me just to talk during the school year. I didn't really get to see my friends near home this summer, due to summer classes and my internship (I lived on the college campus). That made me a bit depressed. It just seems like they're only interested in socializing with me when I'm back at home. I'm just sick of always being the person who has to initiate both the conversation and the idea to hang out. It also doesn't help that my apartment mates are too "busy" being wrapped up in their own lives to care. I know that people are busy and have things to tend to, but it wouldn't hurt others to put in at least a little effort.
Even my mom is starting to worry. I'm not using my allowance of peak minutes nearly as much as I used to a few months back. She's pretty much the only person I call on a regular basis. This is pathetic.
I've been depressed since the beginning of the summer since I didn't really like my summer situation with the summer classes, internship, breakup w/ boyfriend, and a cousin of mine passed away. Summer just plain old sucked, period. The internship ended a few days ago, technically, and I started to feel a lot better. I want to be happy, but I feel like as soon as I start to feel somewhat happy and free, I immediately get depressed about something else that's been bothering me. I've been thinking about joining a club at school, but I just don't make friends easily.
What should I do?
I am so sorry for the crappy summer you had!
And do remember, we are just 1 MONTH removed from summer - a lot of what you are feeling is very normal considering how recent it all was, okay?
You ask what you should "do" and I'll tell you...get busy and get involved in life!
You need to focus on something/someone else to help you move past these doldrums. As badly as we may feel sometimes, there is always SOMEONE nearby worse off who could use some attention.
For example, consider working in an afterschool program for underprivilaged kids where you could help with homework or story time.
Or call you local Pet Smart or other big pet store - they are often looking for volunteers to play with and cleanup after the animals.
The busier you are helping someone else the less time you'll have to feel lonely and down, okay?
Even if you don't feel like you make friends easily, it can be a lot easier to make them when you have a common interest - so join a club or group at school asap!
You've been under a lot of stress. These things will help:
1. One good way to get relief from stress is through exercise. Make time for a workout everyday. Even if you just go for a walk everyday, it'll help. It's amazing how exercise and fresh air can lift your spirits.
2. Go to your school's student health services and find out about getting some mental health counseling. You could really use someone to talk to.
3. Do some journaling. Writing out your feelings will help you get things that are bothering you off your chest and sort out things out.
4. Get involved in activities that interest you. You mentioned the possibility of joining a club at school. Do it. As you do things you enjoy, you'll meet kindred spirits, and possibly make new friends.
This season of your life will pass soon. As someone mentioned earlier, these are some of the lows of life that we must all get through from time to time. Good luck.
You've been under a lot of stress. These things will help:
1. One good way to get relief from stress is through exercise. Make time for a workout everyday. Even if you just go for a walk everyday, it'll help. It's amazing how exercise and fresh air can lift your spirits.
2. Go to your school's student health services and find out about getting some mental health counseling. You could really use someone to talk to.
3. Do some journaling. Writing out your feelings will help you get things that are bothering you off your chest and sort out things out.
4. Get involved in activities that interest you. You mentioned the possibility of joining a club at school. Do it. As you do things you enjoy, you'll meet kindred spirits, and possibly make new friends.
This season of your life will pass soon. As someone mentioned earlier, these are some of the lows of life that we must all get through from time to time. Good luck.
^^^
Do the above.
I felt just like you are feeling right now, when I was away at college. I was in Maryland and all my family and friends were back in California. It was quite lonely. The advice above it great. I did those things and before too long I was very happy and made quite a few good friends. And don't feel bad calling Mom. I called my mom very couple days just to cry about life. That's what moms are for
Hang in there!
I know exactly how you feel, its the worst feeling. It's very inconsistent with me and I myself always make the effort to contact people. If I don't contact people, no one would ever call me. Sometimes I feel like I'm just some stupid puppet and expendable, I don't feel like I have real friends. I still hangout with them because its better to be around people then be completely alone at least. It still would be great though if people would call me but that rarely happens and if I do get a call, its because they just want to vent to me or because they need something. Its like I never win, if I don't make myself available, no one cares, if I do, guess what? No one cares.
I also end up getting calls mainly from my mother or grandmother and its always because they nag me to get them cigs, pills or something minuscule and stupid. Its come to the point where I get excited if a friend even calls me for anything. I love my family but I just need friends, friends who understand and have things in common with me and the friends I do have, we have plenty in common but they just never call. Which I don't get. I'm very social, outgoing, I keep myself in shape, open minded about everything,I do plenty of things, I think I'm an enjoyable person but I guess I'm not though.
Either way, its not about me its about you but I just can relate to how you feel. It sucks, especially as you get older you don't want to be friendless, be lonely, depressed and a boring loser with no social life. Regardless, just be positive and just put in the effort into contacting friends and even let them know that you want to keep in touch, that you want their friendship and tell them you don't want to lose contact. However, don't come off needy or clingy, just tell and explain that to them and see where it goes from there. Sometimes we have to put in the effort to get out the effort, you know?
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