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I think so or at least I have the same experience - the longer I don't do it, the less I feel like doing it. This is unsettling, though. It’s better to make a decision – either do something about it or officially call it a day. That should bring peace of mind.
I know a few women in their 50's who are all "calling it a day" now.
It makes me sad for them because they are amazing women with a lot to offer a potential partner.
Although I get that they just want to be settled and not in the game any more, I worry that they have closed themselves off to the possibility that there still could be someone out there with whom they'd be very happy. Not that they are UNhappy on their own. They are all smart, educated women with a lot going on. But I know them well enough to know they'd rather not live out their lives alone and would prefer to have had a good relationship, someone to grow old with.
Wow!!!! Thanks for the input CD-Buddies (most, lol) but the thing that bothers me is that I am not unhappy single (majority of the time) I do all kinds of things alone and I am trying things I probably would not have if I was in a relationship, BUT that is where the problem lies. I have had so much fun exploring me and being single that I cannot connect with anyone. Like a poster said I am the common dominatorand I wonder if I just lost the touch? I don't snuggle (unless you are my dog mercedes), I do not do the things I see my peers doing (talking on the phone about nothing to their guys) etc. I mean even if I have the offer to go out, sometimes I will pass and go alone. I am really worried that I fell into a comfort zone being alone and will not be able to handle the things people who like each other do when getting to know one another
Last edited by PRINCESSNOTICE; 10-12-2010 at 01:25 PM..
Well, when you meet someone who values you as much as you have learned to value yourself.......then????? At least you are content with your own company and that in itself says alot! Definitely an admirable trait.
I know a few women in their 50's who are all "calling it a day" now.
It makes me sad for them because they are amazing women with a lot to offer a potential partner.
Although I get that they just want to be settled and not in the game any more, I worry that they have closed themselves off to the possibility that there still could be someone out there with whom they'd be very happy. Not that they are UNhappy on their own. They are all smart, educated women with a lot going on. But I know them well enough to know they'd rather not live out their lives alone and would prefer to have had a good relationship, someone to grow old with.
Well, I meant "calling it a day" as no longer putting any active effort into it. I'm sure they would consider it if somebody interesting simply happens to come along by chance, wouldn't they?
Well, when you meet someone who values you as much as you have learned to value yourself.......then????? At least you are content with your own company and that in itself says alot! Definitely an admirable trait.
I know a few women in their 50's who are all "calling it a day" now.
It makes me sad for them because they are amazing women with a lot to offer a potential partner.
Although I get that they just want to be settled and not in the game any more, I worry that they have closed themselves off to the possibility that there still could be someone out there with whom they'd be very happy. Not that they are UNhappy on their own. They are all smart, educated women with a lot going on. But I know them well enough to know they'd rather not live out their lives alone and would prefer to have had a good relationship, someone to grow old with.
If they're sincerely "calling it a day" then they're losers in a sense. Menopause isn't the end of the bloody world. Life and its experiences continue on until the day you croak. I really think you're projecting and assuming!
As far as the highlighted comment is concerned, I've had many friends in the last few years who've had to deal with their very longtime spouses going though the dreadful onslaught of Alzheimers. Sometimes a few short months, sometimes several years. When you let someone into your life - late in life when you're also in your adage - you have to be prepared for that person to be a burden on you if push comes to shove.
I pretty much agree with that, OP. And, I would say that the longer you're in a relationship, the harder it is to adapt to someone else in a subsequent relationship, and your dating skills would probably be outdated as well.
I pretty much agree with that, OP. And, I would say that the longer you're in a relationship, the harder it is to adapt to someone else in a subsequent relationship, and your dating skills would probably be outdated as well.
Hence why I personally don't date and only use certain people for sex. Granted they are well warned. At least some people are able to admit their lack of energy involved in dating/forming relationships but don't deny a basic human need. Yes, it works.
Well, I meant "calling it a day" as no longer putting any active effort into it. I'm sure they would consider it if somebody interesting simply happens to come along by chance, wouldn't they?
That's how I meant "calling it a day" too - they just aren't willing to put active effort into it any more. Having done that I feel the likelihood of someone interesting coming along is greatly lessened.
Do you think the longer you are NOT in a relationship will make it harder for you to function once you ARE in a relationship? I ask because I find it very difficult to let someone get close to me (not sexually just in general) and I wonder if it because I have been single for a long time.
Based on the mess people make of their relationships, I kind of regard people who have consistently backed away from relationships choosing to remain loners as more intelligent about people. I see so many people walk right into mistake after mistake and never saw it coming. I think loners are sometimes loners because they are more perceptive at anticipating difficult people.
Perhaps you have discovered, you don't need someone to be happy. You need someone to be unhappy.
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Makes sense! Thanks...
