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What I've started to believe (and this is coming from your prototypical 'nice guy' who's rather misanthropic) is that they want a stable, loving man who's got lots of self-confidence, is continually improving himself (perhaps by working out, getting promotions, becoming more educated, hell even reading a lot), has a general joy for living/life and is interesting.
That last word is particularly vague. And to me, that seems like an incredibly hard order to fill.
Nope. Way to general of a question to be asking here. What Iwant as a 30-something woman is likely far, far different than what the next poster, and the next, ad nauseum, are going to write.
Ask her. Generally people (men and women) prefer honesty, once they're past the "gaming" phase of dating in their twenties, early thirties. Not everyone - some people want to do that forever, and thats okay. But it's cool to be open about what you want in the beginning.
Here's my take on it: we want men to realize that we are people too, and treat us as such. What I mean is that we want men to understand that we had lives before they came along. We have our own hopes, fears, and dreams, and we weren't just sitting quietly waiting for Mr. Right to say "OK, I pick you" and thereby "complete" us. The idea of completion is a total fiction; you have to be a complete person within yourself before you can love someone else.
Before I met my husband, I dated some guys who treated me as if all my achievements were some kind of time-killing exercise while I waited for him to show up, and that I would be thrilled to dump my whole life, both personal and professional, to bear his children, clean his house and iron his boxer shorts (extra starch). I didn't want to be "mom" or a servant or a mindless pleasure-bot, so I held out for a man who treats me as a valued equal partner and discusses things with me instead of assuming he knows best (sometimes he does, sometimes not).
Not all--not even most--men are so myopic as this, so please don't think this is an anti-male screed or a condemnation of you specifically. But some guys really only think of women as surrogate moms or domestic servants, and we're not. We're people, just like you.
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