Thinking Out Loud Too Much (wife, women, husband, advice)
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I had a conversation the other day with a female coworker. She was saying how her husband doesn't talk much and she has to work to get him to say what he's thinking or feeling. She, on the other hand, is the complete opposite, constantly saying whatever pops into her head even when she's just talking to herself. I've noticed she does this at work too. I'm more like how she described her husband. If something goes wrong, I don't need to verbalize it. I just think it without having to let the people around me know what I'm thinking.
My coworker seems to think it's a gender thing, that men tend to keep things inside more and women feel the need to say it, not just think it. I didn't want to start generalizing about the way each gender communicates, but I have to admit that I've noticed this pattern as well. Do you observe this and do you think there's such a thing as thinking out loud too much? I dated one girl who basically said everything that was on her mind. The problem with that is that, quite often, what you're thinking is about how bad something is or how something didn't work. I could get stuck at the light and be annoyed that I have to wait a few more minutes, but I just keep it myself. Now take all these little things that might annoy you in a given day and say it out loud. After a while, it comes off as if you're constantly whining. Maybe that's why humans are lucky not to be able to hear others' thoughts. That could get pretty tiresome. Anyways, my coworker didn't see it that way. She thinks it's normal to express yourself like that and feels that she has an easier time sorting her thoughts if she says stuff out loud than if she keeps it inside.
I think women as a whole are more verbal creatures and say whatevers on their mind and bothering them where Men might hold it in and just want to deal with it on their own..
Theyres also different levels..I know females who arent like that,and females like my boys wife who has NO filter and says whatever is on her mind no matter how offnesive or crass it might be..Shes not a bad perosn but she just says whatever pops in her head without thinking..
What this conversation showed is how easy it is to give people the impression that you're a whiner. In this case, the woman doesn't see herself as one. She just thinks she's speaking out loud. But others who have to listen to it will feel as though she's whining, especially if her every thought is negative. Just imagine how many negative thoughts you have in a day. Now imagine if the people around you had to hear it.
I sort of think that it's personality-based rather than gender-based. I say this against my better judgment, since I work daily with a few dozen ladies who make a chicken coop sound like a library, but I'm also thinking more of past acquaintances and their tendencies.
It could also be tied in with the environment that they're in - a relaxing social occasion might bring forth more verbal diarrhea than at a workplace that is totally stiff-upper-lip.
I'm also the unofficial father confessor to many of our customers, mainly men, who when they have a few beers in them can hold forth on any subject for hours on end. I have enough blackmail-worthy material in my head now to become a wealthy man.
What this conversation showed is how easy it is to give people the impression that you're a whiner. In this case, the woman doesn't see herself as one. She just thinks she's speaking out loud. But others who have to listen to it will feel as though she's whining, especially if her every thought is negative. Just imagine how many negative thoughts you have in a day. Now imagine if the people around you had to hear it.
I think women want advice and want to know what they should do in every situation where Men look at it s a sign of weakness to ask for help or advice with every little thing that bothers or puzzles them..
I think women want advice and want to know what they should do in every situation where Men look at it s a sign of weakness to ask for help or advice with every little thing that bothers or puzzles them..
No, I don't think they're looking for advice. A lot of times what they want is for you to just sit there and listen. But what I'm referring is talking out loud to yourself. You either don't realize or just don't care that there are other people around to hear it. If you're the listener, it can get annoying. With one girl I dated, it was constant. If something really minor went wrong, like a light bulb going out or the waiter forgetting to put bring the ketchup, she'd utter stuff like "it's always something" or "it never fails", or the one that I really got tired of hearing, "story of my life". These are things that people may say internally and that's fine. We all have those moments where something doesn't go our way and we very briefly feel irritation. But I generally keep that stuff inside. Now imagine saying that ALL THE TIME and just imagine how annoying it would get for other people to hear it. They'd probably get the impression that you complain about every little thing.
Saying everything that pops into your mind, as well as acting on every emotion you feel, is the mark of emotional immaturity. People who do it need to grow up. I don't think it is a gender thing at all... its just that the men who speak out and act out on everything that pops into their mind do it differently: they are violent. Since they are violent, most of us avoid them at the first sign of poor impulse control. With women, it isn't as drastically repellent.
Saying everything that pops into your mind, as well as acting on every emotion you feel, is the mark of emotional immaturity. People who do it need to grow up. I don't think it is a gender thing at all... its just that the men who speak out and act out on everything that pops into their mind do it differently: they are violent. Since they are violent, most of us avoid them at the first sign of poor impulse control. With women, it isn't as drastically repellent.
But not ALL of them, right?
Speaking your mind is one thing - having nonexistent impulse control over your actions is something totally different.
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