Someone like to tell me when Nice guys come first?! (man, lover)
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i guess the good ole rule of thumb i always heard was never to chase, but to turn around and see who is chasing you. Damn dad...old folks dont know new things haha.
Yes and no, sorry. We women, like to be chased.........but we also like a challenge, we want confidence, but not cocky, we want bad boy, but not jerk, we want romantic, but not wimpy, we want you to make us laugh, but not a freaking clown.
It's all about balance, and knowing how to play the game. And believe me a man doesn't have to be great looking to get the girl. I am much more attracted to an average confident man, than i am a great looking cocky man, that does nothing for me.
You have to also be able to wine and dine a girl, when you're first dating be prepared to pay for all dates and nice restaurants, no Mc Donalds crap.
Sorrry guys, but come on, we need some dining and wineing, we like that stuff.
What do you mean chased? and the challenge? Playing hard to get and mind games? Because once anybody starts doing that I just give up because it is too exhausting and tough. It has nothing to do with me not liking you, it has to do with going above and beyond and getting exhausted and worried all for a person...not my style...
Quote:
Originally Posted by fresnochick
Yes and no, sorry. We women, like to be chased.........but we also like a challenge, we want confidence, but not cocky, we want bad boy, but not jerk, we want romantic, but not wimpy, we want you to make us laugh, but not a freaking clown.
It's all about balance, and knowing how to play the game. And believe me a man doesn't have to be great looking to get the girl. I am much more attracted to an average confident man, than i am a great looking cocky man, that does nothing for me.
You have to also be able to wine and dine a girl, when you're first dating be prepared to pay for all dates and nice restaurants, no Mc Donalds crap.
Sorrry guys, but come on, we need some dining and wineing, we like that stuff.
What do you mean chased? and the challenge? Playing hard to get and mind games? Because once anybody starts doing that I just give up because it is too exhausting and tough. It has nothing to do with me not liking you, it has to do with going above and beyond and getting exhausted and worried all for a person...not my style...
You know that's one of the things that straight and gay guys have in common, right? Putting up with games like that?
I don't, I'm brutally honest and direct. As you can tell from my posts.
The only time I was playing hard to get was with a conniving guy I hated...I wanted to see how he would feel when somebody plays with his feelings...ended up being a waste of my energy....oh well
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Originally Posted by sierraAZ
Oh, my... poor things... Because they don't play them AT ALL...
So I have been reading the posts starting with the original and I have a few things to add. My best friend and I are both gals in our lower to mid 20's - as are all of my friends. Generally speaking, we ALL chased the bad guys- been there done that. And you know what? We all turned 21 and it was like we hit a new page- we actually stopped chasing guys that didn't care about us. We laugh now at all the kids who got married right out of high school and are divorced- they gloated over us, thought they were the cream of the crop- now they have kids and if they are still married, a spouse who is never there. Girls may chase bad guys while they are still immature- but the smart girls want the nice guys- the ones who won't leave us high and dry with a couple of kids.
I thought mechanics were cute for a while (not all, just generalizing about the ones i knew) - in their coveralls with the smudge of grease, their know-how about cars and their self-confidence. I thought they were really great until one took advantage of me, got me drunk, and did some things to me that were less than stellar, another expected me to pay for everything and support him, and another couldn't even be bothered to pick up the phone to wish me a happy birthday. Quite frankly, I'd had enough (I know- I'm a slow learner. BUT at least I did finally figure it all out after a couple years). I had some "baggage"- but interestingly enough, it didn't ever really come out.
My boyfriend now (we've been together a year) used to say "nice guys finish last" (he's four years older than me) but now he says "you were worth waiting for". Don't give up hope! The nice girls are out there- and we are seeking nice guys!
If you want dates, try meeting girls in a place that you think the kind of girl you would want to date would be- (I keep telling my male roomate this) if you go to a bar to meet girls, you are going to meet girls that like going to a bar; if you go to a club, you are going to meet girls who like going to clubs...if you want a girl who enjoys literature, go to the library or join a book club (you don't have to go to every meeting). If you want someone who takes care of their body- go to a gym or a fitness center. People are everywhere- and you might just be surprised about the ones you meet But keep being a nice guy- it'll get you everywhere that you want to be in the end
I'm not really understanding you PHILvanwinkle. I never said it was a horrific experience. I just said it was a waste of time and nerve wracking to be chasing after somebody that you don't know is interested in you or not. If it looks like rejection to me, then there is no use chasing, end of story. If I have to do a lot of work and sweat it out then it still isn't worth the chase... forget that... now if you are going to give advice please make it clear and understandable....
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Originally Posted by SifuPhil
Maybe when you graduate to big-boy pants, you'll also gain some reading comprehension and *horrors* life-experience?
What do you mean chased? and the challenge? Playing hard to get and mind games? Because once anybody starts doing that I just give up because it is too exhausting and tough. It has nothing to do with me not liking you, it has to do with going above and beyond and getting exhausted and worried all for a person...not my style...
NO, NO, NO.........i aint into the mind games, either.
I may not be explaining this right.........how do i explain this, lets see.....by chasing i mean someone that shows interest, not like these guys that say, i'll call you and you don't hear from them for week or two or so, if you are interested in me, call me, show me that you are interested, make sense?
By challenge.........someone who doesn't come across like he'd be so grateful if you went out with him.......maybe challenge isn't the right word, but all i know, is that most women want don't want a man that will drop whatever they are doing to see you, i mean we do want that, but not right off the bat........you get what im saying?
Hey, im a woman, i know complicated.
Look, i aint into the mind games, but i want a man that doesn't jump at the drop of a hat, just cus i say so..........i know it sucks, its about ying and yang.
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