Someone like to tell me when Nice guys come first?! (girls, loving)

[NooYowkur81]

As a nice guy, you just have to have a lot patience. You don't get things first, but you eventually get them, and it's a pretty darn good feeling when you do. You feel much more inner peace and fulfillment than the jerk.

One thing though, you have to be content and realize who you are. In work/career matters of course you should never let yourself be taken advantage of or stepped on, but you can be successful without being a jerk. In relationships you cannot make yourself a douchy or jerky guy. I've had frustrating moments where I wanted to be the jerk, but I can't be that guy. You have to be yourself and try to be as happy as possible.

Good luck.

[miu]

I can't remember if I already posted this sentiment in this thread...

Girls like bad boys, women appreciate the nice men. The key is to avoid the foolish immature females. Experience is what (hopefully) gives us the wisdom to prefer dating a nice man vs. a bad boy.

[Jefetio]

Originally Posted by Love2LiveNCities

Im pretty confident in myself as far as goals and wants

I don't know if your situation is the same as mine, but I think maybe it is. I've always considered myself confident, I believed in my abilities and always had high goals, believed that I could and would accomplish anything I set my mind to.

Yet people always said (still do) that they thought I was under-confident.

"Confidence" is a lot more visual than women realize, or are willing to admit. If you are shy... that is seen as lacking confidence even though the two aren't tied together in reality. If you hesitate, which may just mean you like to think your actions through (a good thing), this also portrays a lack of confidence.

Here's some simple stuff if you want to portray confidence, which is almost always a "nice guys" downfall
- shoulders back, head up. look tall
- look a woman in the eyes when she is talking
- 3 second rule. You have 3 seconds to approach a woman you are interested in. After that you're a wimp in their mind
- make physical contact and flirt. They already assume you have the worst of intentions (even if you don't) so if you don't make your intentions obvious then you come across as afraid to show it
- never ask. I know this sounds illogical but assume she wants to do what you do and suggest it in a positive manner. "Let's go sit down!" Instead of "Would you like to have a seat?". stuff like that. If she doesn't want to do it she'll let you know either, but for some reason if you ask for her opinion that's weak.

You probably came here hoping to get advice from a woman's perspective, but I'm telling you, you have to ask other articulate men. A woman will never give you a straight answer and if she does it will get lost in translation.

[NooYowkur81]

There's a thin line between confident and decisive, and cocky and douchy. Just be careful.

[nicolepsy]

nice guys DO NOT "come" first. they wait until their lady is finished.

[Love2LiveNCities]

Back from school, and just remembered the password. Lot of good information on here, specially the last one haha.

So far...not alot of good to be honest came out of this year with girls. I played it cool because i was not trully searching, but i didnt come across anything either. A cougar came along, but that was definitely a weird weird experience. So im refreshing this thread in hopes to get some more answers. And its fun to read haha.

[drjones96]

Originally Posted by miu

Girls like bad boys, women appreciate the nice men. The key is to avoid the foolish immature females. Experience is what (hopefully) gives us the wisdom to prefer dating a nice man vs. a bad boy.

Yeah, as long as you're seeking girls it'll only pay off to be a selfish pr!*k. And these girls will never last long.

When you start finding women you'll come closer to getting what you're looking for.

[Fat Freddy]

I don't give a crap what anyone else thinks or does.

What counts to me is that I like myself better as a Nice Guy than as a Jerk.

[Huckleberry3911948]

its not all about you. i like it when predators ignore me.
im ok with that.
not evertybody with nice legs and good make up is a good person.
not everybody is looking for a nice guy.
(they might say they are but what they do and say don't match up)
considering the current rate of divorce, and more important the sorry state of many marriages, you may not be missing much.
be a good man do good show love with kindness, don't worry about what attracts other people.

[goldenplover]

So I have been reading the posts starting with the original and I have a few things to add. My best friend and I are both gals in our lower to mid 20's - as are all of my friends. Generally speaking, we ALL chased the bad guys- been there done that. And you know what? We all turned 21 and it was like we hit a new page- we actually stopped chasing guys that didn't care about us. We laugh now at all the kids who got married right out of high school and are divorced- they gloated over us, thought they were the cream of the crop- now they have kids and if they are still married, a spouse who is never there. Girls may chase bad guys while they are still immature- but the smart girls want the nice guys- the ones who won't leave us high and dry with a couple of kids.

I thought mechanics were cute for a while (not all, just generalizing about the ones i knew) - in their coveralls with the smudge of grease, their know-how about cars and their self-confidence. I thought they were really great until one took advantage of me, got me drunk, and did some things to me that were less than stellar, another expected me to pay for everything and support him, and another couldn't even be bothered to pick up the phone to wish me a happy birthday. Quite frankly, I'd had enough (I know- I'm a slow learner. BUT at least I did finally figure it all out after a couple years). I had some "baggage"- but interestingly enough, it didn't ever really come out.

My boyfriend now (we've been together a year) used to say "nice guys finish last" (he's four years older than me) but now he says "you were worth waiting for". Don't give up hope! The nice girls are out there- and we are seeking nice guys!

If you want dates, try meeting girls in a place that you think the kind of girl you would want to date would be- (I keep telling my male roomate this) if you go to a bar to meet girls, you are going to meet girls that like going to a bar; if you go to a club, you are going to meet girls who like going to clubs...if you want a girl who enjoys literature, go to the library or join a book club (you don't have to go to every meeting). If you want someone who takes care of their body- go to a gym or a fitness center. People are everywhere- and you might just be surprised about the ones you meet But keep being a nice guy- it'll get you everywhere that you want to be in the end