Need some input on this (how to, man, call, friends)
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Yes, you are too serious. You need to lighten up a bit and put a smile on your face and get to know a variety of people. Sometimes I don't like being in a conversation with someone that I don't know the topic or care of what they are talking about but I'm polite and ask questions to make the conversation interesting. If they continue talking about subjects that I'm not interested in, I move on to another person or make sure I have limited contact with the person again. Just be more flexible and you'll meet different people and then you can pick and choose who you want to form a close circle with.
I am the type of person who is very reserved and generally will not talk unless i have a reason to. over the years and decades i have gotten more and more intolerant for groups, crowds and gab
On at least 3 occasions within the past 2 years I have overheard myself being referred to as "boring", all by females
the first, a new co-worker was being trained by the worker who was leaving. The one who was leaving was describing the existing workers to the new worker. I was described as "boring"
i had jury duty earlier this year we were serving on an exciting criminal case. there were about 15 other jurors. the "ringleader" of these 15 was a gab artist who thought her long diatribe about her trip to puerto rico and her lack of funds at the ATM (her mother had to wire her $$$) was amusing. everybody was laughing but i wasn't. i never took breaks with them for lunch either
after the trial was over and we were going down to get our proof of service letters, the 'ringleader" said just loud enough so i could hear, "rl is boring"
at my job a miss prissy perfect elitist snob type worker started. i shudder when i look at her face and the perfection and superiority written all over it. we do tho communicate quite well by computer. she passed my office with another girl and commented to the girl "he's so boring"
well, i mean if 3 females have described me as 'boring" i suppose i could interpret that as i have a problem? I have no interest in these people anyway but i'm just curious, what do you make of this?
on one level i don't care at all because i hate crowds and uncontrolled social situations, but on the other level i still get offended when i hear this
obviously, people who know me well don't think i'm boring. even if i don't have a lot of varied things to say, they certainly aren't running away from me
is this tag "boring" just a thing people do when they feel out of control with a withholding guarded person like myself?
You can always enjoy some new hobbies if you haven't already. I sometimes ask for volunteers to put their scent on me. They haven't volunteered yet, but at least I am being upfront with them.
the girl at work who referred to me as boring is connected in some way to people on the job i don't like. they all make me uncomfortable so i assume anything i say to her will be brought back to them. this is why i don't smile and act boring. some of this boring mannerism is self survival. in fact, since i feel threatened by many people it's no wonder why i act boring. what a basket case hah?!!!
because i have a professional degree, have been there 20 years, am in a middle management position but have never risen to the top rungs (combo of being too intimidated to ask for more and refusing to play the game) and have had some embarrassing moments in the past to which many have shown no sympathy.
i know word HAS to get around about that. i walk into an office full of the guys who have made to the top and i can just sense they loathe me and have no respect for me
i still like my job immensely but many have made it clear that they would never want my job
i have some warm supportive relationships on the job but they are workers who do not have advanced degrees
it's comfortable but there is something lacking and i fear it probably has to do with myself and i feel powerless to change it
it's like yes, many there are obnoxious narcissists there but many workplaces are like that
i can't pin blame on that ALL the time. i don't consider myself to be a character disorder who always passes the buck and blames others so i have to at least assume i bear some responsibility for my paranoia and discomfort
it's like how much of the problem is the narcissists and how much of it is me? i don't know where to draw the line
i have often had people act nasty to me and say nasty things behind my back, not because i was nasty or cruel to them (I am a very reserved person) but because i could not BE to them what they wanted(i remember walking in one day, going to my office and this girl whispered to another co-worker how i have been on the job an X number of years and had never received a big promotion)
and these two faced shallow people are those who are getting married and having kids every second
it's like i just don't want to part of that hypocrisy--the keeping up with the Joneses, white picket fences, dinner parties, because in order to do that i would have to be what i cannot be
the institution of marriage and family is one in which i can never win and will always lose
because i have a professional degree, have been there 20 years, am in a middle management position but have never risen to the top rungs (combo of being too intimidated to ask for more and refusing to play the game) and have had some embarrassing moments in the past to which many have shown no sympathy.
i know word HAS to get around about that. i walk into an office full of the guys who have made to the top and i can just sense they loathe me and have no respect for me
i still like my job immensely but many have made it clear that they would never want my job
i have some warm supportive relationships on the job but they are workers who do not have advanced degrees
it's comfortable but there is something lacking and i fear it probably has to do with myself and i feel powerless to change it
it's like yes, many there are obnoxious narcissists there but many workplaces are like that
i can't pin blame on that ALL the time. i don't consider myself to be a character disorder who always passes the buck and blames others so i have to at least assume i bear some responsibility for my paranoia and discomfort
it's like how much of the problem is the narcissists and how much of it is me? i don't know where to draw the line
Have you never worked in sales? What about hobbies? What do you feel you are lacking?
i have often had people act nasty to me and say nasty things behind my back, not because i was nasty or cruel to them (I am a very reserved person) but because i could not BE to them what they wanted(i remember walking in one day, going to my office and this girl whispered to another co-worker how i have been on the job an X number of years and had never received a big promotion)
and these two faced shallow people are those who are getting married and having kids every second
it's like i just don't want to part of that hypocrisy--the keeping up with the Joneses, white picket fences, dinner parties, because in order to do that i would have to be what i cannot be
the institution of marriage and family is one in which i can never win and will always lose
Have you considered going to professional women to help improve your attitude? Why do you believe you can never win with a family; in spite of the institution of marriage?
I am the type of person who is very reserved and generally will not talk unless i have a reason to. over the years and decades i have gotten more and more intolerant for groups, crowds and gab
On at least 3 occasions within the past 2 years I have overheard myself being referred to as "boring", all by females
the first, a new co-worker was being trained by the worker who was leaving. The one who was leaving was describing the existing workers to the new worker. I was described as "boring"
i had jury duty earlier this year we were serving on an exciting criminal case. there were about 15 other jurors. the "ringleader" of these 15 was a gab artist who thought her long diatribe about her trip to puerto rico and her lack of funds at the ATM (her mother had to wire her $$$) was amusing. everybody was laughing but i wasn't. i never took breaks with them for lunch either
after the trial was over and we were going down to get our proof of service letters, the 'ringleader" said just loud enough so i could hear, "rl is boring"
at my job a miss prissy perfect elitist snob type worker started. i shudder when i look at her face and the perfection and superiority written all over it. we do tho communicate quite well by computer. she passed my office with another girl and commented to the girl "he's so boring"
well, i mean if 3 females have described me as 'boring" i suppose i could interpret that as i have a problem? I have no interest in these people anyway but i'm just curious, what do you make of this?
on one level i don't care at all because i hate crowds and uncontrolled social situations, but on the other level i still get offended when i hear this
obviously, people who know me well don't think i'm boring. even if i don't have a lot of varied things to say, they certainly aren't running away from me
is this tag "boring" just a thing people do when they feel out of control with a withholding guarded person like myself?
LOL @ That! I'm the other extreme. I have to be social and outgoing for my job. I also am a guitar player and need to be able to get in front and shine. I also have no problems teeing off teaching what I know for a group to hear or read. It ain't no thang!
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what do you mean by
I'm the other extreme. I have to be social and outgoing for my job. I also am a guitar player and need to be able to get in front and shine. I also have no problems teeing off teaching what I know for a group to hear or read. It ain't no thang!
