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I am the type of person who is very reserved and generally will not talk unless i have a reason to. over the years and decades i have gotten more and more intolerant for groups, crowds and gab
On at least 3 occasions within the past 2 years I have overheard myself being referred to as "boring", all by females
the first, a new co-worker was being trained by the worker who was leaving. The one who was leaving was describing the existing workers to the new worker. I was described as "boring"
i had jury duty earlier this year we were serving on an exciting criminal case. there were about 15 other jurors. the "ringleader" of these 15 was a gab artist who thought her long diatribe about her trip to puerto rico and her lack of funds at the ATM (her mother had to wire her $$$) was amusing. everybody was laughing but i wasn't. i never took breaks with them for lunch either
after the trial was over and we were going down to get our proof of service letters, the 'ringleader" said just loud enough so i could hear, "rl is boring"
at my job a miss prissy perfect elitist snob type worker started. i shudder when i look at her face and the perfection and superiority written all over it. we do tho communicate quite well by computer. she passed my office with another girl and commented to the girl "he's so boring"
well, i mean if 3 females have described me as 'boring" i suppose i could interpret that as i have a problem? I have no interest in these people anyway but i'm just curious, what do you make of this?
on one level i don't care at all because i hate crowds and uncontrolled social situations, but on the other level i still get offended when i hear this
obviously, people who know me well don't think i'm boring. even if i don't have a lot of varied things to say, they certainly aren't running away from me
is this tag "boring" just a thing people do when they feel out of control with a withholding guarded person like myself?
There are worse things to be called. People like to be entertained in their relationships, the more casual the contact, such as work and the jury settings, the more this is likely to be true. Because of your normally standoffish nature, you will be hard to get to know and therefore, boring, to many people.
Boring can cover a spectrum of characteristics or behavior from the quiet and hard to get to know person that rarely speaks to someone that occasionally launches into intricate monologues on esoteric subjects of interest to very few but is basically harmless. You are probably the former.
You don't seem to be interested in changing your interaction level with people and that's fine, just don't expect most folks to really understand you and therefore you will alas be "boring" to them for want of a better term such as standoffish, quiet or a loner.
Far better to be labeled boring than that stupid term "creepy" that seems to be thrown around a lot lately, applying to anyone without the looks of a movie star, the wit of a stand up comedian or the charm of the well oiled operator.
Since you overheard these comments it wouldn't have been rude to put a big smile on your face, walk over to the person who made the remark and say, "I just heard you say I'm boring. Why did you say that?"
I am the type of person who is very reserved and generally will not talk unless i have a reason to. over the years and decades i have gotten more and more intolerant for groups, crowds and gab
On at least 3 occasions within the past 2 years I have overheard myself being referred to as "boring", all by females
the first, a new co-worker was being trained by the worker who was leaving. The one who was leaving was describing the existing workers to the new worker. I was described as "boring"
i had jury duty earlier this year we were serving on an exciting criminal case. there were about 15 other jurors. the "ringleader" of these 15 was a gab artist who thought her long diatribe about her trip to puerto rico and her lack of funds at the ATM (her mother had to wire her $$$) was amusing. everybody was laughing but i wasn't. i never took breaks with them for lunch either
after the trial was over and we were going down to get our proof of service letters, the 'ringleader" said just loud enough so i could hear, "rl is boring"
at my job a miss prissy perfect elitist snob type worker started. i shudder when i look at her face and the perfection and superiority written all over it. we do tho communicate quite well by computer. she passed my office with another girl and commented to the girl "he's so boring"
well, i mean if 3 females have described me as 'boring" i suppose i could interpret that as i have a problem? I have no interest in these people anyway but i'm just curious, what do you make of this?
on one level i don't care at all because i hate crowds and uncontrolled social situations, but on the other level i still get offended when i hear this
obviously, people who know me well don't think i'm boring. even if i don't have a lot of varied things to say, they certainly aren't running away from me
is this tag "boring" just a thing people do when they feel out of control with a withholding guarded person like myself?
The world is full of shallow and superficial people. It is apparent that you are more reflective and introspective. I have been accused of being anti-social and even lost a job once because I did not participate in the "culture" (i.e. pot lucks, baby showers) of the business where I was employed. Even if I were interested in such banal activities, I certainly would not waste my time consorting with the lower class individuals, many of whom worked there.
But I digress.
Be who you are and if others cannot appreciate you, to hell with them. The thing to do is keep your sense of humor and let them know that their PRONOUNCEMENTS of what they think of you is of no consequence. You will find that people of substance will appreciate your sober and refined demeanor.
since those people say it in a volume that is designed for me NOT to hear it but i still can (so i am NOT suffering hearing loss as i feared) i would feel too sensitive calling them out on it, tho i think the ringleader in jury service did it to provoke me. what a relief it was to be rid of most of those people after we served
i can't believe you lost a job because of that. i have gotten flak for that in the past but no one would ever dare actually fire me for something like that.
baby showers? that really sucks. i have never had kids and find it obnoxious the way people fuss and primp over kids(I think there is a thread about this topic recently). how can someone who has never had kids(talking of myself) be at a baby shower and listen to all that garbage?
For me I think it comes down to do you like yourself? If you love your personality then what others say shouldn't be a problem...and if you are affected by it, why is that?
If you don't really like this characteristic of quiet-introvert then maybe try working on it. I think we should aim to love ourselves. If we don't like and appreciate ourselves, others' won't either.
i'm as dependent on others' opinion about me as i was when i was in my 20's, even tho i have been on my own for almost 20 years, this has not changed, in fact lately it's gotten worse
as far as living a clean honest lifestyle with no smoking, drugs, yes i suppose you could say i like/respect myself, but on the other hand i am 48 now and never married, no SO and no real close friends
in that respect in a way maybe the "boring" label COULD have an element of truth to it? am i taking it too seriously? am i supposed to change just because someone thinks i'm boring? they could say the same even if i was a married man with kids I suppose
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you made my holiday better
