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Is that just something women say? If it is, then I expect them to say the same thing in this thread. Women will almost always say that they are looking for a nice or good guy but I think most know women seem to be attracted more to men who mistreat them and put them down. You know, guys who are not nice. So, why do women constantly say that they are looking for a "nice guy" when in reality that is not what they want because that is not what they choose? Do they say that just in case word of it gets back to their Mother or Father?
It's not only a female phenomenon. Men may say they're looking for a nice girl, or complain when the nice girls won't notice them, but who do some of them spend their time flirting with and lusting after?
The hottest girl in the room.
Even if the hottest girl in the room isn't giving them the time of day, they give her attention, flirting, stares, all while the average ordinary looking girls go ignored. Not every guy does this, of course, any more than every girl wants a bad guy (some really don't.) But it's not just a girl thing.
The other side of the coin, is that some guys think of themselves as "nice guys" when the girls aren't seeing them the same way. The just see the broody bitter guy in the corner who is grumpy because the hot chick won't hit on him--never mind that he's ignoring other female prospects too.
One should always refrain from talking up their own character too highly. It is a hallmark of the hypocrite in many instances. "I am a honest guy, trust me". Instead you should just inform others as to your likes, hobbies and what you are looking for out of a relationship.
Nothing wrong with asking for the other person to be nice, honest or whatever, just minimize the response to the believable when someone asks you. In particular claiming to be a "nice guy" is code for being a loser.
I've got absolutely no problem meeting people or dating, so I'll keep on keepin' on
I think I said something to the effect of, "Overall I'm a pretty nice guy; mellow, laidback, etc." It's a shame that being 100% honest about a personality trait will label you a "loser" when you're actually a pretty active, agreeable, stable and generally enjoyable person, but such is life.
"nice guy" have not been equal to male with nice personality for ages, it means always ending up in the friends-zone with the ladies.
I for example used to be nice as a person, but I wouldn't call myself the nicest anymore, it just doesn't work around adult people. Everyone are far to sneaky, greedy, lazy and whatnot that if I don't use the elbows people are gonna try to run me over.
That said I'm still a "niceguy" when it comes to most ladies.(working on changing it...)
Two completely different things.
Wanneroo you bring up a good point. The term "nice guy" has been perverted to the point where it's almost a bad word. Like nice guys are the plague. Don't get me wrong, you can go overboard with being nice an end up a spineless-jellyfish. No one is attracted to a wimp. I mean a like a woman that has a spine and speaks her mind. Let me ask a question; what's the opposite of a nice guy? An as$hole that slams your head into a wall? People listen to and follow pop culture too much
I would say much of the problems people have with relationships is all the pop culture they see and in turn high expectations for all sorts of fame and material wealth likely they will never see and if they do might realize it's not all it's cracked up to be. Look on any dating site even, like match and you'll find heaps of people with their brains fried with unrealistic expectations of what the world is supposed to provide them. Very few men for instance are super fit, super rich with tons of extra time for socializing, charity work, family and so on. Most people are either going to lack the time or the money to pull that off.
Something I learned as a man is that I can be nice and generous, but you have to have boundaries too. I'm not a travel and dining director and not a bank to fund your shopping trips and bills, not a psychiatrist either. So there is a line there between being nice and polite and just being a doormat. Too many people go the doormat route because they think they'll be accepted but I don't think that ever works out for them.
It's not only a female phenomenon. Men may say they're looking for a nice girl, or complain when the nice girls won't notice them, but who do some of them spend their time flirting with and lusting after?
The hottest girl in the room.
Even if the hottest girl in the room isn't giving them the time of day, they give her attention, flirting, stares, all while the average ordinary looking girls go ignored. Not every guy does this, of course, any more than every girl wants a bad guy (some really don't.) But it's not just a girl thing.
The other side of the coin, is that some guys think of themselves as "nice guys" when the girls aren't seeing them the same way. The just see the broody bitter guy in the corner who is grumpy because the hot chick won't hit on him--never mind that he's ignoring other female prospects too.
I'll just pull a number out of the hat but probably 50% of the people out there are lusting after the top 1% of people, so there is going to be a lot of disappointment out there.
Some of the most smokin gals I have ever seen with their clothes off were "average ordinary looking girls". Yes I notice the "hot" chick with everything out there on display but personally I always go after the "second glance" gals. The "hot" chicks in my experience have always proved disappointing.
One of the things i had to learn about is body language and again often we only think about what we say but what is it that people see? Once I learned about how I present myself and how other people present themselves non verbally, my success went through the roof.
The "perversion" of nice has been going on for longer than you think, and it's not pop culture's fault. Also, interestingly, the original meaning of nice is close to its wishy-washy connotations now.
nice late 13c., "foolish, stupid, senseless," from O.Fr. nice "silly, foolish," from L. nescius "ignorant," lit. "not-knowing," from ne- "not" (see un-) + stem of scire "to know." "The sense development has been extraordinary, even for an adj." [Weekley] -- from "timid" (pre-1300); to "fussy, fastidious" (late 14c.); to "dainty, delicate" (c.1400); to "precise, careful" (1500s, preserved in such terms as a nice distinction and nice and early); to "agreeable, delightful" (1769); to "kind, thoughtful" (1830). In 16c.-17c. it is often difficult to determine exactly what is meant when a writer uses this word. By 1926, it was pronounced "too great a favorite with the ladies, who have charmed out of it all its individuality and converted it into a mere diffuser of vague and mild agreeableness." [Fowler]
So nearly 100 years ago, people were complaining the opposite of what you are complaining now.
Naturally women young or old, bad or good are attracted to to bad guys. Women go for Mr. nice guy only when they have to settle, so to speak. The truth is most times there is a nice guy in, around or close at one time or the other to almost every woman out there but they are not attract to him. There is difference between what you want and what you need. The nice guy ends up to be best friends with the girl in most cases because the girls want the bad boy. Girls only say they want the nice guy because they know the nice guy is what they need.
Is that just something women say? If it is, then I expect them to say the same thing in this thread. Women will almost always say that they are looking for a nice or good guy but I think most know women seem to be attracted more to men who mistreat them and put them down. You know, guys who are not nice. So, why do women constantly say that they are looking for a "nice guy" when in reality that is not what they want because that is not what they choose? Do they say that just in case word of it gets back to their Mother or Father?
It's one of life mysteries. Understanding women is a fool's errand.
He looks hot like a movie star but women aren't throwing themselves at him, nor threatening his wife.
He's not really wealthy - not like Bill Gates - his family "only" is worth a few percent of that.
He treats his woman like a queen, is not a slob in the slightest and never wastes time watching football when he could be entertaining and catering to her.
He's suave, confident and has a purpose in life, especially where the weather is warm at this time of year, unless he going skiing.
The guys I know are skeptical that such a man exists but most women are sure that he does. So many of their friends have mentioned him, after all!
Now that's a good AND nice guy!
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