Do men date women for relationships? (dating, wives, marriage, love)
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Just a question. I've been married for 5 years (second marriage) and my husband cheated on me one year after we were married and stayed in that relationship for a year. I found out, we were separated for a year and now reconciling. Here's my question. When I went through my first divorce and started dating, I felt as though it was all about if they were going to get me in bed. They weren't looking for a real relationship, they were looking for sex. I believe that's one of the reasons that I reconciled is because I don't want to be back in that world. Do men typically date women for a potential roll in the hay, or are they really looking for a deeper relationship? Be honest.
Yes and no. We have to date to see what's out there. Not every date will lead to a relationship. But, eventually, after enough different dates (you could be lucky and it is the 1st person you meet), you might find that special person. Guys do want sex. So most will try even if they view you as a one night stand. All this depends on the person. There is no set formula.
I understand that men want sex, and yes, do do women. When obviously there isn't any chemistry, why can't men just leave it alone. Why do they try anyway? You don't see women all over them just because.....
I just got so tired of dating men who pretended they were something they're not. Yes, women do this too, but why? You know that you're going to be disappointed, so why set yourself up? My answer is because they think they may get layed. It was exhausting and I guess that's why I wound up getting married and just like all the rest, he is nothing like I thought he was. AND we dated for 4 years, lived together for 1 year before we got married. He turned out to be a hot shot wanna be and it seems I'm paying the price. He came into the marriage with bad credit, no furniture, no real estate owned and me, homeonwer, great credit, beautiful furniture. I sound bitter but it's just that when I contemplate on leaving, I'm reminded of days past. Are there any good guys out there? One that is faithful?
I understand that men want sex, and yes, do do women. When obviously there isn't any chemistry, why can't men just leave it alone. Why do they try anyway? You don't see women all over them just because.....
(After having sex with the cleaning lady on his desk at work) "Was that wrong??? You know, I have to plead ignorance on this because if anyone had told me this kind of thing was frowned upon......" -George Costanza-
Couldn't resist.... Anyway, I'm not 100% but would imagine that the more dates you go on, the less chance that this is what is occurring. Yes there are probably some out for the "conquest" but there's no set rule as to who is who really...... Sounds like you're honestly a little scared which is understandable given the situation.
Quote:
Originally Posted by still hangin'
I just got so tired of dating men who pretended they were something they're not. Yes, women do this too, but why? You know that you're going to be disappointed, so why set yourself up? My answer is because they think they may get layed.
Did I ever show you my Nobel Peace Prize???
Any guy that talks about himself too much should probably be avoided in the first place....
Quote:
Originally Posted by still hangin'
It was exhausting and I guess that's why I wound up getting married and just like all the rest, he is nothing like I thought he was. AND we dated for 4 years, lived together for 1 year before we got married. He turned out to be a hot shot wanna be and it seems I'm paying the price. He came into the marriage with bad credit, no furniture, no real estate owned and me, homeonwer, great credit, beautiful furniture. I sound bitter but it's just that when I contemplate on leaving, I'm reminded of days past. Are there any good guys out there? One that is faithful?
I think you know the answer to this.... Just use your instinct here and you'll be okay. Seems from what I've read of you that it's when you go against that little voice in your head and settle that you get burned.
This sounds bad, but this is how I feel it is a lot of the time...
Guys wanna be single and date and sleep with people...until one day they wake up and decide it's time to get serious and the next decent girl they meet is suddenly the one. I mean I am sure there are still some cases of true love, but for a majority it seems like this is their style.
It used to bother me, but now it doesn't, because I realize that I too have the same power. I have the attidue of sometimes it's just a date, sometimes it's just good sex and when the right one comes along I will know. I think if you expect everyd ate or flirtation to turn into something that is when you get let down.
And we can't blame it all on men either, sometimes there are women out there who just wanna get laid lol. And I think there is nothing wrong if a man or a woman just wants to date casually or just even wants to hook up as long as both parties are on the same page. It only turns into a disaster when one is falling in love and the other wants something else and lies to get what they want.
And I don't think it's ever a good idea to go out on a date saying "Okay, I am looking for a relationship so this needs to work". It's okay to be at the point in your life where you want a relationship, but just be open for it if the right person comes along, don't be so hardcore about it or it gets frustrating.
I think that sex is on most mens mind, they are confused what a relationship is and are in a hurry to jump into bed before they get to know the person. i think if a couple has sex to soon then they base that relationship on sex, if they wait to get to know each other first then there is a better chance of a real relationship developing. If a woman gives it up right away then of course the man is going to act like he likes her to get more, if she holds out she will find out if he wants to know her or if he is just after sex because if he only wants sex he's going to move on. Men and Women are way to quick to jump into bed.
Do men typically date women for a potential roll in the hay, or are they really looking for a deeper relationship? Be honest.
I think when men date women, they are always looking for sex. On occasion, they are looking for both sex and a deeper relationship, depending on how they feel about the woman in question.
In my opinion, if a man is dating and specifically not looking for sex, then he is either under the influence of some religion/philosophy, he has some sort of horomonal imbalance, or he is just too old to care.
Just a question. I've been married for 5 years (second marriage) and my husband cheated on me one year after we were married and stayed in that relationship for a year. I found out, we were separated for a year and now reconciling. Here's my question. When I went through my first divorce and started dating, I felt as though it was all about if they were going to get me in bed. They weren't looking for a real relationship, they were looking for sex. I believe that's one of the reasons that I reconciled is because I don't want to be back in that world. Do men typically date women for a potential roll in the hay, or are they really looking for a deeper relationship? Be honest.
Still Hangin, I just asked my husband this question and here is his response: different men are looking for different things, but they are all looking for sex. Most people are attracted to a certain type of person. Is it possible that the type of man that you are attracted to is only interested in sex? What was the basis for his affair? Was it soley based on sex? What was the history of his relationships? He says some men are really only interested in sex and women to them are only an avenue to provide them satisfaction. However, some men want sex, but want this in a relationship, they are not willing to go out and have an affair or sleep around or be promiscuous to satisfy their libido. (this is the man my husband claims to be ).
Here is my input now: my opinion is and i'm saying this from history of friend's marriages - a man wants sex and if he is not getting sex from his wife on a regular basis - he will eventually go get it elsewhere, then there are men that will not cheat at all, then there are the habitual cheaters, they are getting it from their wives and still cheating anyway.
Thanks anonymous - you make me feel ever so much better.
mjb68; my husband and I had a GREAT sex life. But he is definately a romantic. He loves the wine and dine stuff and loves for a woman to "feel special" so I know this was part of his A. It's just the way he is. I imagine their sex came first, after the emotional affair, however, my husband confuses sex with love, so because he had sex, he was in love. Does this make sense? Then he got trapped. She worked for him, so he was afraid of his co-workers finding out because he would have been a laughing stock.
I'm convinced my husband isn't real, but regardless of his faults, I am where I want to be for now. And I'll continue to stay with my husband unless he pulls the rug out from under me again. Then I walk away and will never look back and never ask myself the what ifs.
You know, maybe you have something there with the fact that I was attracted to men that only wanted sex. In my first marriage, I went without sex for about 7 years and frankly I was a little "in need" so I had my share of romps in the hay. But then I had no respect for myself the next morning so I quit giving in so easily. I want to know the best way to tell a man that you're just not interested in taking it that level without hurting their feelings or ruining a good evening, or even ruining a relationship that you would like to see blossom? Can this be done?
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Anyway, I'm not 100% but would imagine that the more dates you go on, the less chance that this is what is occurring. Yes there are probably some out for the "conquest" but there's no set rule as to who is who really...... Sounds like you're honestly a little scared which is understandable given the situation.
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