Paying During the Dating Phase (girlfriend, girls, separate, kids)

[LittleMissSunshine]

Originally Posted by sunnyhelena

If he asked you out, I think it is common courtesy for him to pay, and rather tacky to ask for half at the end of lunch (esp. since you didnt have as many drinks) .

I felt it was tacky too! It was sort of just done in a tacky way.

The funny thing, usually I offer some money or at least reach for my wallet and then they stop me, but he grabbed the bill so fast, I didn't even have time to do that. So after he pounced on it, I really thought he was gonna pay it so i was totally caught off guard.

[VillageLife]

Usually a guys pay for me, After a while it's ok,but they always pay

[Roaddog]

If a man ask's you out he should pay, if he doesn't then he's probably not worth dating.

[christina0001]

When I was dating I would always offer to pay or split, but the guy almost always insisted on covering. If things progressed maybe they'd let me pay for an activity once in a while. I would have found it suspicious if a man didn't insist on paying for the first few dates. I would have suspected either he had financial problems, or was cheap; neither is a desireable quality.

I did pay once on a first date; it was with a younger guy and I knew I made more money than he did, and that his financial situation might not be good. I didn't mind at all...but I also didn't take him seriously at all. It was just for fun, I knew it would not turn into a real relationship.

[dullnboring]

Originally Posted by shuke

I will always go on the assumption that I pay for my date, BUT.... a girl who acts ENTITLED will find that's the last date. That means I'll find it awfully curteous if she at least offers to pay for something, whether it be coffee, a movie, the tip for dinner, or whatever... I don't expec them to split the date right down the middle money-wise, but I do look for some indication they aren't going to be "dead weight" from a money perspective going forward.

Yup. If the girl feels she's entitled to it, that's a dealbreaker for me too. That sense of entitlement will transfer into other aspects of the relationship. No thank you.

Here's what I don't understand. I hear remarks, usually from women on TV where they're profiling singles and occasionally in real life as well, about how cheap a date was because he repeatedly splits the tab early in the relationship, complaining that the guy is cheap. Why is it the GUY that's cheap? If you're a grown woman who is earning your own paycheck and time after time again expect the guy to cover it and then throw a fit when you're expected to chip in your share of what you ordered, YOU'RE the one who is cheap.

As I said earlier, while it is unfair, I'm willing to put up with the unfairness for a bit. There's plenty of little things like that in life that we just have to suck up and deal with (i.e. Ladies Night at bars, or the fact that women get charged much more for haircuts...it works both ways), but it's that sense of entitlement that some women have (men have it too, but usually not in regards to this issue) that is killer.

[JMX]

If I ask a woman out to dinner or lunch, I expect to pay the whole bill. I don't particularly like it if she asks to pay half. It's a date, not a business deal. I don't want to have to bring my accountant along to make sure the bill gets split fairly.

[clawson26]

When my hubby and I dated I always paid for two reasons:

1) I was his boss and I knew how little he made

2) I didn't want to eat someplace crappy or not order something I wanted because I knew he couldn't afford it. The only time he paid was if we went out for steak because he knew his bill would be 3/4 of the tab. (I'm a veggie) He tried to argue at first but then I would just say I'm not going out with you unless I can pay. He paid me back in "other ways"

[Roma]

The men have always paid for our dates. I always dated guys with a lot more money then me. I think that when you are dating someone you go for a certain type of guy, right? Well, those are my type of guys.

I even asked my husband this question. If the women he have dated in the past ever pay or did he ever expect them to pay for any dates? He said no. He always paid and never thought of it as a big deal.

If I had a son I would bring him up to always pay for the dates. If I had a daughter I would bring her up to only date guys who pay for the dates.

Dutch is too weird to me. If we were just friends, then yeah but not on a date. I want a gentlemen and I want to feel like a lady.

[Songbird42]

Some years ago, I was involved with a middleaged man, who was not wealthy
but did have a nice pension, we went to the zoo one day (Wed. was free day) we walked around a couple of hours, and I said "gee, I'm thirsty". I went and got two drinks for us and waited for him to open his wallet, never happened, I paid the $6.00 (NY prices) and thought what a cheapskate.
He also informed me, that he didn't like to eat out, that he would cook meals for us on occasion, after several nights of eating "his" cooking, I suggested we go to a local diner, I paid and that was the last time I saw he cheapy.

[LittleMissSunshine]

I think another reason I encounter so many guys who like to pay is because I usually date older men, so they a) are a little more old-fashion and b) probably assume and probably do make more money than I do because of my age.

Like another poster said, I just want to be treated romantically and like a lady, especially in the beginning.

I in no way just want something for free, I am definately the kind who will spring for drinks later or treat later down the line. I think for me it was just a matter of the tacky manner he did it in that really got me, especially since he had more drinks than I did! And the whole time he was encouraging me to get drinks and dessert and other things. Just VERY ODD. And it's not like he was trying to get rid of me, he has tried to call me since!! Aaah...people baffle me.