Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Seems to me I've been having a bit more than bad luck? Could it be just that everyone else has become overly picky and have unrealistic expectations? The reason I ask is I've tried just about everything from a hard press effort to relaxing and letting it come about on it's own. But the last number of years has been like hitting a brick wall. I tried the on line dating sites, several of them in fact over a good length of time. I couldn't even get one view and of the several hundred messages I sent in those years I never got one single reply, not so much as a thanks but no thanks. Now, I'm well aware I'm not going to be gracing Cosmo's 10 most best looking men for 2011. But wow I'm not shabby looking enough to be passed over this much. I've got a lot going for me but no one ever takes a notice.
It's no different in the real world, I can go to a bar/nightclub and even when I don't approach a woman, they steer clear. I dress nice enough I've got good hygiene, I take car of myself, I'm not over weight, I'm tall but not of giant height. I'm friendly, funny, and good conversationalist on a vast number of subjects. I'm intelligent but modest about it and cool and relaxed. Yet, if a woman comes to the bar to get a drink and I just say hi nice evening isn't it. They roll their eyes and give me a look like they are too good to speak to me and usually just stay silent never replying to my comment.
Is it just me or does others have this bad a luck? I'm just about ready to give up for good and never step out the door of my home again.
Seems to me I've been having a bit more than bad luck? Could it be just that everyone else has become overly picky and have unrealistic expectations? The reason I ask is I've tried just about everything from a hard press effort to relaxing and letting it come about on it's own. But the last number of years has been like hitting a brick wall. I tried the on line dating sites, several of them in fact over a good length of time. I couldn't even get one view and of the several hundred messages I sent in those years I never got one single reply, not so much as a thanks but no thanks. Now, I'm well aware I'm not going to be gracing Cosmo's 10 most best looking men for 2011. But wow I'm not shabby looking enough to be passed over this much. I've got a lot going for me but no one ever takes a notice.
It's no different in the real world, I can go to a bar/nightclub and even when I don't approach a woman, they steer clear. I dress nice enough I've got good hygiene, I take car of myself, I'm not over weight, I'm tall but not of giant height. I'm friendly, funny, and good conversationalist on a vast number of subjects. I'm intelligent but modest about it and cool and relaxed. Yet, if a woman comes to the bar to get a drink and I just say hi nice evening isn't it. They roll their eyes and give me a look like they are too good to speak to me and usually just stay silent never replying to my comment.
Is it just me or does others have this bad a luck? I'm just about ready to give up for good and never step out the door of my home again.
well you make yourself sound darn near perfect so i can't imagine what's going on. are you into Harley's? Hawgs? i'm asking because of your screen name
well you make yourself sound darn near perfect so i can't imagine what's going on. are you into Harley's? Hawgs? i'm asking because of your screen name
I've owned just about all sorts of bikes but yea I've always had a soft spot for Hawgs.
I wouldn't call myself perfect I've never met anyone perfect before, but it sure seems like a lot of women think of themselves as being way to good for anyone?
My sincere sympathies I was in much the same boat as you, until relatively recently. No luck whatsoever, anywhere I went -- churches, coffee houses, dance clubs, online; nothing, nada, zip. Granted, I didn't try bars specifically per se, but you get the picture.
Like you, I sent hundreds upon hundreds of online messages and many, many different (even pay-based) dating sites, with *extremely* few replies. And, much like you, I was just about to totally give up, and throw in the towel on dating. When suddenly, the sweetest, kindest, most adorable gal who was also actually interested in me, the same way I was about her, came my way at last.
The point I'm trying to make is: don't give up friend...keep trying! Keep looking for that one, sweet, loving girl to come into your life. If some gals don't like you, they don't reciprocate your interest? Forget about them...they're not giving you a fair shot, then their loss, because there are always plenty other gals out there, some of which who are prolly actually a lot nicer than they are, anyway But don't give up on women, just b/c of a few bad apples k?
If you don't wanna go to bars anymore, that's understandable -- but at least keep the online dating channels open, just because the sheer volume of gals you can contact in looking for love online increases your probability of success than if you are randomly trying to talk to a few girls every so often right off the bat.
Good luck!!
ETA: The best online dating site that I myself personally used, and which resulted in the most dates by far for me, was not eHarmony or any pay-based sites, but the free site OKCupid.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ironhorse444
Or should I say a lack thereof?
Seems to me I've been having a bit more than bad luck? Could it be just that everyone else has become overly picky and have unrealistic expectations? The reason I ask is I've tried just about everything from a hard press effort to relaxing and letting it come about on it's own. But the last number of years has been like hitting a brick wall. I tried the on line dating sites, several of them in fact over a good length of time. I couldn't even get one view and of the several hundred messages I sent in those years I never got one single reply, not so much as a thanks but no thanks. Now, I'm well aware I'm not going to be gracing Cosmo's 10 most best looking men for 2011. But wow I'm not shabby looking enough to be passed over this much. I've got a lot going for me but no one ever takes a notice.
It's no different in the real world, I can go to a bar/nightclub and even when I don't approach a woman, they steer clear. I dress nice enough I've got good hygiene, I take car of myself, I'm not over weight, I'm tall but not of giant height. I'm friendly, funny, and good conversationalist on a vast number of subjects. I'm intelligent but modest about it and cool and relaxed. Yet, if a woman comes to the bar to get a drink and I just say hi nice evening isn't it. They roll their eyes and give me a look like they are too good to speak to me and usually just stay silent never replying to my comment.
Is it just me or does others have this bad a luck? I'm just about ready to give up for good and never step out the door of my home again.
Last edited by Phoenix2017; 01-31-2011 at 11:41 AM..
Reason: Corrected spelling
My sincere sympathies I was in much the same boat as you, until relatively recently. No luck whatsoever, anywhere I went -- churches, coffee houses, dance clubs, online; nothing, nada, zip. Granted, I didn't try bars specifically per se, but you get the picture.
Like you, I sent hundreds upon hundreds of online messages and many, many different (even pay-based) dating sites, with *extremely* few replies. And, much like you, I was just about to totally give up, and throw in the towel on dating. When suddenly, the sweetest, kindest, most adorable gal who was also actually interested in me, the same way I was about her, came my way at last.
The point I'm trying to make is: don't give up friend...keep trying! Keep looking for that one, sweet, loving girl to come into your life. If some gals don't like you, they don't reciprocate your interest? Forget about them...they're not giving you a fair shot, then their loss, because there are always plenty other gals out there, some of which who are prolly actually a lot nicer than they are, anyway But don't give up on women, just b/c of a few bad apples k?
If you don't wanna go to bars anymore, that's understandable -- but at least keep the online dating channels open, just because the sheer volume of gals you can contact in looking for love online increases your probability of success than if you are randomly trying to talk to a few girls every so often right off the bat.
Good luck!!
ETA: The best online dating site that I myself personally used, and which resulted in the most dates by far for me, was not eHarmony of any pasy-based site, but the free site OKCupid.
Thanks, It just seems like I've went way too long at this to not have had a spot of luck here and there. But I've got nothing and I've went so far as to reach out far more miles than makes good sense to travel and tried contacting girls that exceed my very relaxed standards and even they won't write me... The nightclubs/bars scene got old and sort of boring when there was no one willing to at least speak to you about the weather...
Thanks, It just seems like I've went way too long at this to not have had a spot of luck here and there. But I've got nothing and I've went so far as to reach out far more miles than makes good sense to travel and tried contacting girls that exceed my very relaxed standards and even they won't write me... The nightclubs/bars scene got old and sort of boring when there was no one willing to at least speak to you about the weather...
Please trust me, I think I maybe understand exactly what you mean...believe me, I know what it feels like (It wasn't until I was over 30, until I even managed to have a first g/f...I know I know, pretty lame of me.)
The *right* girl, will love *you*, for exactly who you are...and she won't seek to change you unilaterally, against your will. You just have to find her, is all...so go seek her out my friend; she's waiting for you!! Above all though, pls don't give up...
I've owned just about all sorts of bikes but yea I've always had a soft spot for Hawgs.
I wouldn't call myself perfect I've never met anyone perfect before, but it sure seems like a lot of women think of themselves as being way to good for anyone?
do you dress in biker clothes?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I was in much the same boat as you, until relatively recently. No luck whatsoever, anywhere I went -- churches, coffee houses, dance clubs, online; nothing, nada, zip. Granted, I didn't try bars specifically per se, but you get the picture.
But don't give up on women, just b/c of a few bad apples k? 
