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People who come on super strong usually have a void they are trying to fill or a problem they are trying to fix with a "relationship". They really need to be alone to fix themselves first but that's not how people do things.
And as far as talking about sex and asking about it, well I think some people get straight to it because of a past relationship where something was lacking in that department. They don't want to waste their time and effort on someone who isn't going to want to do the things they want to do, whatever those things are. It's a hard line to walk because giving sex such priority, and then hoping everything else falls into place, doesn't often make for a great relationship.
I wondering if he's telling you all this about 2 women because that's what he prefers and he's gauging to see how you'll handle it so that when you get into a relationship, he can spring it on you that if you loved him you'd go to bed with another women for him and all 3 of you would have sex.
Nope, I'd really move on. I don't think I'd meet him at all on Friday. I think I would just email him and let him know that he came on too strong and you were uncomfortable about the sexual talk and he still didn't stop so you feel that you were disrespected and am no longer interested. Then I wouldn't respond to any of his future emails.
Tell him you don't share the same viewpoints on relationships. That uncomfortable feeling won't go away, even if he is a total gentleman when you first meet. It was TMI which was good for you and his fault for sharing.
Thank you all so much for validating my feelings. I kept thinking, I have a guy who is totally into me so why can't I just let this go and get over it?!? That's all we women want is a good guy who shows interest. But too much interest too soon freaked me out. I can honestly say I've been on the other side where I've texted constantly and driven someone away. I never understood it before now but now that I do, it will never happen again. Again, thanks to you all! Such a huge breakthrough for me on so many levels! =)
Thank you all so much for validating my feelings. I kept thinking, I have a guy who is totally into me so why can't I just let this go and get over it?!? That's all we women want is a good guy who shows interest. But too much interest too soon freaked me out. I can honestly say I've been on the other side where I've texted constantly and driven someone away. I never understood it before now but now that I do, it will never happen again. Again, thanks to you all! Such a huge breakthrough for me on so many levels! =)
So hows the man supposed to know what is TOO much or not? Trying to "hide" feelings and emotions is a mark of a FAKE! If it isn't REAL and genuine, what's the point? I wouldn't waste my time. Of course, that's a man's opinion. I'm sure other guys are thinking the same damn thing. No worry guys, BBJ said it!
This isn't really a "guy" thing BBJ, it's a "too much too soon" thing and as the OP said, she herself has been guilty of it.
I've noticed that someone who sets out to get a relationship usually isn't very good at being in them. The best ones happen naturally when two people just meet and click. But these days sometimes the biggest thrill is playing at having a relationship online or over the phone without actually meeting face to face, including the sex talk. Some people get into that, others think it's lame.
Many times. If this was your daughter going to meet a stranger who told her these things, would you be ok? Guys do what they do but it isn't always a lifestyle choice but an experience. He can still be a good guy but sharing what he did and getting sexual early is showing where his interest lays.
If he can't even pretend to be a gentleman, how can she give him credit that he'll be a faithful, trustworthy potential boyfriend worth her time?
And 'good' women are judged by men to be evil ho's for wearing heels and caring about their appearance.
The only thing that I probably would have kept to myself is the 3 some part. The other could have came out in normal conversations that escalated with excitement and hornyness. Who knows the full details. Moderator cut: Off topic. This kid sounds like he just got a little too excited. It happens to younger guys all the time. It happens to us older guys sometimes too. You won't know for sure until you meet in a CROWDED PUBLIC PLACE.
Last edited by JustJulia; 02-28-2011 at 10:00 PM..
So hows the man supposed to know what is TOO much or not? Trying to "hide" feelings and emotions is a mark of a FAKE! If it isn't REAL and genuine, what's the point? I wouldn't waste my time. Of course, that's a man's opinion. I'm sure other guys are thinking the same damn thing. No worry guys, BBJ said it!
John, please, you aren't listening to all the posts here. And you aren't talking for all the men! Please.
Who in their right mind is going to say in the first week of emailing someone that they like to have sex with 2 woman while he looks on and had sex while climbing a tree which was the weirdest place he's had sex (not really but he wants to know where she's had the weirdest place to have sex). Oh, yeah, and that's not all after I tell you what I like sexual and it doesn't matter that you keep telling me don't talk about sex because I'm going to talk about what I like about sex and I want sex and I can't wait to cuddle and hold you all night. Oh, did I tell you that I can't wait to take you to a concert in April and boy, what fun we'll have! Oh, yeah, we haven't met yet but who cares, I've got it all planned out in my mind in what type of relationship we're going to have. Oh, have I told you about the sex we're going to have and I'm going to cuddle you all night....
Doesn't that sound bizarre and odd to you? No. Then if you think this is real and genuine, then you're single for a reason, John.
The only thing that I probably would have kept to myself is the 3 some part. The other could have came out in normal conversations that escalated with excitement and hornyness. Who knows the full details. This kid sounds like he just got a little too excited. It happens to younger guys all the time. It happens to us older guys sometimes too. You won't know for sure until you meet in a CROWDED PUBLIC PLACE.
Really, John ALL men, young and old say things like this and well, geez, we're only guys. I don't think so John. What part of DON'T TALK ABOUT SEX BECAUSE IT MAKES ME UNCOMFORTABLE, do you not understand?
Last edited by JustJulia; 02-28-2011 at 10:01 PM..
Reason: Removed references to deleted comments.
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