Why is it so difficult to get anywhere after meeting someone from a nightclub? (date, married)
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I just moved to a new city a month ago. I don't have a single friend at the moment and pretty much my only way of meeting a potential date is either online or at a bar. The status is I'm not meeting anyone my type online, and although I do meet people my type at the bar, it seems to never go anywhere!
For example, this guy I met a few months ago while I was in the process of moving. We met at the club. He wanted to dance. We danced most of the night and he took me to breakfast afterward. We spent the night as well. The next weekend came around, and he stood me up saying he was spending the weekend with his foster son. That was in October.
Fast forward, we met again 3 weekends ago. Seen him in the nightclub wearing the exact same shirt as the 1st time I seen him LOL. He asked me to dance and we danced all night and we made out and he thinks I'm sexy. We exchanged numbers again (it was awhile since we last met). We both went our separate ways after the club and he texted me that night. Well, last weekend comes around and I suggest meeting up. He gives an excuse that he'd be helping his friend with an engine, but he'd let me know if he might have time. I told him that if he doesn't deserve to give me plans, then we could end the conversation. Of course he never did call me for that night. I spoke with him couple nights ago and once again his weekend is busy with other family plans. Yet last weekend he said it would be better to do it this weekend.
Well, I ended up going out and meeting someone else (who spoke to me 1st). We didn't dance, but met for breakfast after the club and although he wanted to take me home, I declined. Well...the problems are already showing up. He does not follow up on texts, and I suggested plans with him tonight yesterday after asking about his schedule...and he has not responded back to me.
So, tonight I want to go out again after work...but I am discouraged. Its like, you put the effort into meeting someone, and it goes absolutely no where. Its like guys are living this fantasy in the club, and when the next day comes, it's like you don't even exist. Its emotionally taxing to me...but at the same time, these are men who are probably at any other place. Has anyone gone thru the frustration I have?
You meet the guy and five hours later you're in the sack? And you think he's going to call? As my grandmother used to say: If you give them the milk for free they are not going to buy the cow.
Nightclubs are for one thing: hooking up. Hitting and quitting it. One night stands. Sure, some people have met in a nightclub and married and ended up together 40 years later. You can count them on two hands.
Clubbing is almost exclusively for people wanting a one night stand. Why is it difficult to get anywhere with them after meeting? Because if they've had sex with you, they're done with you. And if they haven't had sex with you, you're old news.
Set your sights higher than a nightclub if you are intent on a serious relationship.
Why is it so difficult to get anywhere after meeting someone from a nightclub?
The nightclub is not meant for meeting someone with intention of having a relationship. It happens, but very rarely. People get intoxicated, they just want to have a good time and meet someone for a quickie. Even if you do meet someone, the chances of him being interested in a serious relationship with you after taking you home and sleeping with you are very slim.
Go out, dance, enjoy yourself but don't look for a relationship. You won't find it there.
I just moved to a new city a month ago. I don't have a single friend at the moment and pretty much my only way of meeting a potential date is either online or at a bar.
I find this hard to believe. I spent almost 5 years in a very small city and still managed to meet people without having to use the internet or through bars. Volunteer, check meet-up.com, look for rec leagues through your city.
I don't think clubs are a good way to meet people for relationships - they are dark, too loud for conversation, and usually people have a little too much to drink.
I can't imagine sleeping with a stranger after a couple hours. And you wonder why you are alone? God.
Whatever, I said nothing about having sex with him. Besides he was just as happy to see me the 2nd time. Thing is, whenever it comes to seeing each other outside the club, he always has an excuse not to meet.
Quote:
Originally Posted by max's mama
Why is it so difficult to get anywhere after meeting someone from a nightclub?
The nightclub is not meant for meeting someone with intention of having a relationship. It happens, but very rarely. People get intoxicated, they just want to have a good time and meet someone for a quickie. Even if you do meet someone, the chances of him being interested in a serious relationship with you after taking you home and sleeping with you are very slim.
Go out, dance, enjoy yourself but don't look for a relationship. You won't find it there.
But I keep telling myself, these are normal people. The guy from last weekend worked at a bank. If he was my teller and he asked me out, what difference would it make? I mean, don't people who go to clubs also go to school, work out at the gym, and volunteer?
That's why I'm on the fence. Other than the drinking part, what makes men from the club AUTOMATICALLY categorized as '1 night stand material?'
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