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Old 03-11-2011, 03:29 AM
 
Location: North Carolina
10,218 posts, read 17,931,567 times
Reputation: 13938

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zerby View Post
So a guy respects his mother and he's a mommas boy?
No but a guy who uses his mother as the measure for all women is. The last thing I want is to be with a guy who is constantly comparing me to his mother. Same goes for women and their fathers. I love my dad and he has some great qualities - but that doesn't mean I want my husband to be just like him. Anyone who does has some serious Freudian issues.
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Old 03-11-2011, 04:55 AM
 
Location: Oxford, England
13,026 posts, read 24,658,817 times
Reputation: 20165
I would run like hell . If she is a Saint you will never match up to it, if she is a nasty cow you know he has an issue in not realising it and will always put her first despite her shortcomings. Either way to me you can only lose.

Also no woman wants to be compared to someone's mother in my experience. Women want to see themselves as individuals with individual qualities and virtues, most human beings need to think they stand out and are not there to replicate someone else.

To me that would be sending a loud resounding warning signal that he is a Mommy's boy and send me running to the hills...
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Old 03-11-2011, 06:30 AM
 
Location: Where Dance Music comes first
1,904 posts, read 2,991,131 times
Reputation: 2260
Similarities to my mother is a deal breaker for me.
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Old 03-11-2011, 07:08 AM
 
Location: In my house
541 posts, read 986,687 times
Reputation: 302
..make sure his name isn't norman bates for starters...
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Old 03-11-2011, 07:24 AM
 
Location: NY metro area
7,796 posts, read 16,421,406 times
Reputation: 10808
Depends on what his mother is like.

My mother in law is a saint!!! God bless her!! And I have no doubts that my husband saw some similarities in our behaviors. I often wish I was more like her in many ways, but there are also attributes that I have that I, nor my husband, wish to change.
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Old 03-11-2011, 11:19 AM
 
Location: state of procrastination
3,485 posts, read 7,321,988 times
Reputation: 2913
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zerby View Post
somehow that is a turnoff to the average female despite being a noble and kind thing to say! Contrast that with a female who says that she'd like to meet someone the quality of her father. The average man would receive this comment as classy, and would show him that this lady is probably respectful.
I'd be horrified either way... ugh. Incest!
For me it would be almost as bad as saying he wanted a female who was the same quality as his ex.
I really don't want to be like anyone else!
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Old 03-11-2011, 11:57 AM
 
Location: Charlotte
817 posts, read 812,931 times
Reputation: 304
I can't ever imagine looking for anyone with my mom's qualities, not that they are bad, it's just that I find it creepy when i say I am looking for someone with my mom's qualities.
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Old 03-11-2011, 12:00 PM
 
7,871 posts, read 10,146,851 times
Reputation: 3241
All men marry their mothers in the end.
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Old 03-11-2011, 12:10 PM
 
Location: state of procrastination
3,485 posts, read 7,321,988 times
Reputation: 2913
Quote:
Originally Posted by Strel View Post
All men marry their mothers in the end.
Nope!! I'm opposite from my husband's mom! And he's very different from my dad.
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Old 03-11-2011, 12:20 PM
 
7,871 posts, read 10,146,851 times
Reputation: 3241
Quote:
Originally Posted by miyu View Post
Nope!! I'm opposite from my husband's mom! And he's very different from my dad.
Yeah that's what YOU think.

No really, there are exceptions of course.

But I think there is a real tendency in most men to subconciously seek out the positive traits they experienced from female caregivers (not mothers per se necessarily) as children.

And in some cases, they subconciously seek out the negative ones too.

But a guy that says he wants to meet someone like his mom is a dork. A man might THINK that, but jeez, don't SAY it on a date!

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