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But I think there is a real tendency in most men to subconciously seek out the positive traits they experienced from female caregivers (not mothers per se necessarily) as children.
And in some cases, they subconciously seek out the negative ones too.
But a guy that says he wants to meet someone like his mom is a dork. A man might THINK that, but jeez, don't SAY it on a date!
I think I would commit self immolation if I thought I was even remotely like my MIL.
The evil cow is about the worst role model I can think of. And the last thing I want in Hubby is a replication of my Father...
If a man had said to me: "My mother is the kindest most generous person I have ever met and I would like to meet someone with those qualities", I wouldn't find it strange, I would find it endearing and sweet. When a man has a lot of respect and love for his mother, it's a good sign.
If a man had said to me: "I want to meet someone just like my mother", that would be a huge waiving flag for me. You can never compete with a mother of a mama's boy.
With a father and a mother, both which are supportive, caring, and provide the child with a feeling of safety, comfort, etc., more than likely a girl would unconsciously be attracted to men who instill in her similar emotions as what she became accustomed to as a child. And the boy, more than likely will unconsciously be attracted to women that resembles his mother. But sometimes the opposite can take place, of course.
If a man had said to me: "My mother is the kindest most generous person I have ever met and I would like to meet someone with those qualities", I wouldn't find it strange, I would find it endearing and sweet. When a man has a lot of respect and love for his mother, it's a good sign.
If a man had said to me: "I want to meet someone just like my mother", that would be a huge waiving flag for me. You can never compete with a mother of a mama's boy.
And you are correct. For example, a son who loves his mother treats her with respect, does not abuse her in any way, listens to her, cares for her, etc. In other words, he treats her the same way she has treated him from childhood. Once that bond has been established there is a pretty good chance that he will treat the women he meets in the same manner. From a man's point of view (a man who has had a good mother), another woman will rarely be equal to his mother. Therefore for a woman he cares for, placing her next to his mother in his heart is the greatest act of love to him. By then he has opened his heart to this woman.
somehow that is a turnoff to the average female despite being a noble and kind thing to say! Contrast that with a female who says that she'd like to meet someone the quality of her father. The average man would receive this comment as classy, and would show him that this lady is probably respectful.
I looked like my xMIL. Her and I had the same features. So much so, she had a pic of us on her desk once. A guy asked was that her daughter and SIL.
He never compared us, but he is a momma's boy. She never interferred in our marriage.
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