Single dad of a 2 year old, divorced twice. Red flag? (dating, wives)
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Hello all. I dont have a great track record with picking the right guy and wanted some opinions about the current guy I'm kind of seeing.
I started a new job about 5 months ago and have gotten close to my coworker. We sometimes work on projects together but we are in seperate departments so not too much interaction at work.
In the last month, we've hung out a few times. Nothing too serious. Things like happy hour with coworkers, lunch, etc. But last weekend we went out on an actual date and that's when he revealed that he has been divorced twice and has a 2 year old with his second ex.
I dont know all the details but he told me the big picture. Hes in his mid 30's. Also, I'm in my late 20's and no kids.
With his first wife, they dated all through college and got married shortly after that. They were together for less than a year before he filed for divorce. He said that he wasnt ready to get married but his ex gave him an ultimatum and he choose to marry her. Also, her student Visa was up and to stay in the country, she needed to get married. But apparently she was emotionally abusive towards him and he reached a point where he couldnt tske it anymore.
Then with his second ex wife, they were married for a little more than a year before they got divorced. From what he said, this seemed to be a mutual decision. His ex is a very invovled mom and was a helicopter parent. She wanted to control every aspect of their child. Plus she couldnt stand his mom's interference with their child.
So red flags????
From the time that I've spent with him, he has been nothing but a good guy. But I dont know. His history makes me nervous. The way he painted it, a lot of blame seemed to be placed on both exes.
If you were in my shoes, would you give this guy a chance or run far away??
I've never dated a single dad or someone who has been divorced.
General rule, it's not smart to date a person you work with.
Dating coworkers seemed to be encouraged here lol. My manager actually actively seeks out single employees and makes sure we all know who they are. I think it is because we all work such long hours, it doesnt leave much free time to find someone elsewhere. But I dont disagree with you. Just a different dynamic here I guess
It's really strange to hear that he divorced his wife after less a year and the main reason was that she was a "helicopter parent." If I'm counting correctly, the child couldn't have been more than a few months old at the time and is only two years old now. Of course she wanted to "control every aspect of their child," that's what you do with an infant and toddler. You have to watch them all the time, you have to make decisions for them, you have to know who is taking care of them and what they are doing.
I'm about as far from a helicopter parent myself as you can be, but this sounds weird. I would be wondering what he wanted to do with the baby that his wife wouldn't allow. And exactly how his mom was interfering with the baby that the ex didn't like but that he apparently thought was no problem. Was he unwilling to give his mom boundaries?
It's really strange to hear that he divorced his wife after less a year and the main reason was that she was a "helicopter parent." If I'm counting correctly, the child couldn't have been more than a few months old at the time and is only two years old now. Of course she wanted to "control every aspect of their child," that's what you do with an infant and toddler. You have to watch them all the time, you have to make decisions for them.
I'm about as far from a helicopter parent myself as you can be, but this sounds weird. I would be wondering what he wanted to do with the child that his wife wouldn't allow. And exactly how his mom was interfering with the child that the ex didn't like but that he apparently thought was no problem. Was he unwilling to give his mom boundaries?
I think this is the first grandchild and his mom was being a doting grandmother, spoiling the kid and it bothered his ex. He gave an example where his ex got upset his mom bought the baby some clothes. Of course this is one sided, but that to me is not a huge thing to get worked up about. But again, ive never been a parent to a human child so no judgements here.
I don't know, but he sounds like he is lying about the real reasons for dissolving two marriages after less than a year. If I had to speculate, I'd say he might be an abuser.
I don't know, but he sounds like he is lying about the real reasons for dissolving two marriages after less than a year. If I had to speculate, I'd say he might be an abuser.
Coukd be. Hes very well spoken and well liked at work. Seeing that side of him doesnt make me think he would ever hurt someone. But i guess you just never know until it ia too late.
It would be useful to get the ex-wives' side of the story, but that's probably impossible. But you can always check for DV or other arrests.
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