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Old 03-13-2011, 01:45 PM
 
109 posts, read 555,809 times
Reputation: 143

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I am trying to figure out the reasons that drives men to seek relationship away from their marriage.
Would you admit it was selfish?
Was there something a lot more complex than just being selfish?
Could anything have been done by a spouse that would have prevented it?
Did you regret your cheating and thought it was a mistake?
Would you try to reconcile with your wife?
Women's opinion is also welcome.
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Old 03-13-2011, 01:51 PM
 
109 posts, read 555,809 times
Reputation: 143
Default Would you forgive a one-time occurence of infidelity?

May none of us will ever have to go through this, but...

If s/he admitted it was wrong and tell you they still are very much in love with you and want to save the relationship, would you take them back?

Would you stay together for children only?

Would you ever be able to trust/love them again?

Would you ever truly forgive them?
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Old 03-13-2011, 01:52 PM
 
1,646 posts, read 2,378,172 times
Reputation: 880
no sorry, but that is me. I have a lot of issues with infidelity so no.
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Old 03-13-2011, 01:57 PM
 
4,721 posts, read 5,327,474 times
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No, I wouldn't. To me infidelity is a deal-breaker. I know that I would never be able to trust them again, and why would I want someone that I had to worry about constantly.
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Old 03-13-2011, 01:58 PM
 
Location: Northside Of Jacksonville
3,337 posts, read 7,136,922 times
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No on all counts, because who's to say she won't do it again. Once trust is gone, it's done dada and I can never look at her the same way again.
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Old 03-13-2011, 01:59 PM
 
Location: Metro Phoenix
11,039 posts, read 16,913,974 times
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Just depends on the situation and circumstances.

Like, was I being distant at the time? Had I played a role in it? I was with a girl for some time who more or less was convinced that any time I had a female friend or corworker who I got along with, or shared a birthday with (seriously), or had common interests with... either we already had fooled around, or we would. This would precipitate a rocky patch, during which she usually cheated on me.

Once I wisened up to it I pulled the plug. The irony of the matter is that I was always faithful to her. I never cheated on her, not even once. I just get the feeling that most of the time, if someone is so paranoid about such things, it's largely due to their own insecurities.

What I did learn from her though, is that once you let someone get away with it, even if they feel guilt about it for awhile, the next time they're tempted, they often figure that they'll be able to rationalize and apologize a way out of this one, too.
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Old 03-13-2011, 02:00 PM
 
Location: Boca Raton, FL
6,892 posts, read 11,283,266 times
Reputation: 10818
Smile The answer -

Yes.

Go to counseling, work it out. It takes time but it can be well worth it.
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Old 03-13-2011, 02:00 PM
 
109 posts, read 555,809 times
Reputation: 143
Speaking for myself, I did stay in the relationship after one cheat, but love was never the same on both sides
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Old 03-13-2011, 02:01 PM
 
1,646 posts, read 2,378,172 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 415_s2k View Post
Just depends on the situation and circumstances.

Like, was I being distant at the time? Had I played a role in it? I was with a girl for some time who more or less was convinced that any time I had a female friend or corworker who I got along with, or shared a birthday with (seriously), or had common interests with... either we already had fooled around, or we would. This would precipitate a rocky patch, during which she usually cheated on me.

Once I wisened up to it I pulled the plug. The irony of the matter is that I was always faithful to her. I never cheated on her, not even once. I just get the feeling that most of the time, if someone is so paranoid about such things, it's largely due to their own insecurities.

What I did learn from her though, is that once you let someone get away with it, even if they feel guilt about it for awhile, the next time they're tempted, they often figure that they'll be able to rationalize and apologize a way out of this one, too.
The other person is never responsible for an infidelity. Sorry, but no. If you are going to cheat man up to your choices. It is only the adulterous one fault.
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Old 03-13-2011, 02:02 PM
 
Location: Bradenton, Florida
27,232 posts, read 46,754,225 times
Reputation: 11089
no.

I hold them to the same standard as I hold myself.
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