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I am trying to figure out the reasons that drives men to seek relationship away from their marriage.
Would you admit it was selfish?
Was there something a lot more complex than just being selfish?
Could anything have been done by a spouse that would have prevented it?
Did you regret your cheating and thought it was a mistake?
Would you try to reconcile with your wife?
Women's opinion is also welcome.
Sometimes it's immaturity, sometimes it's a mid-life crisis, sometimes boredom. Sometimes it's a way to get back at the spouse for something.
Sometimes it's the thrill of getting by with it, lying and sneaking around and the thrill of getting caught.
No on the spouse being able to prevent it. A spouse can't prevent something they're not supposed to know about. Cheaters all lie as creatively as they can, often flat out telling the spouse that everything is fine.
Moderator cut: Removed reference to deleted comment.
Someone who believes "Once a cheater, always a cheater." is intellectually bankrupt. Obviously that's a convenient untruth that is based in anger and questionable moral superiority.
IMO, cheating is never justifiable, but sometimes forgivable. People can change, some do learn from mistakes. And while never justifiable, if the cheater has been ignored or treated badly by their spouse - and IF they've made an attempt to fix things - then human weakness may lead to outside validation. So IMO, the spouse can share some blame.
Last edited by JustJulia; 03-13-2011 at 09:24 PM..
As for the question posed, I think it really depends. There is a world of difference between a one night stand with a stranger while on a business trip and a long term affair with the next door neighbor. People make mistakes, they slip up from time to time. I realize that 90% of the people who post here are perfect and would never ever make such a mistake, but I assure all of you that in the real world people do make mistakes from which they can recover.
If the 2 parents handle things in a mature way they are. If they do not, together or separated the kids will suffer.
There's always an "if" isn't there? There is an "if" to every question. For every "if" that suits your point of view, I can come up with an "if" that refutes it.
That's why definitive statements such as yours ("children are better off") are not based in reality.
There's always an "if" isn't there? There is an "if" to every question. For every "if" that suits your point of view, I can come up with an "if" that refutes it.
That's why definitive statements such as yours ("children are better off") are not based in reality.
In most cases, they are. There is no need to saty together for the kids. Divorce can be survived if handled correctly.
And it is unfair to the parents. No one is happy in an unhappy house.
Someone who believes "Once a cheater, always a cheater." is intellectually bankrupt. Obviously that's a convenient untruth that is based in anger and questionable moral superiority.
IMO, cheating is never justifiable, but sometimes forgivable. People can change, some do learn from mistakes. And while never justifiable, if the cheater has been ignored or treated badly by their spouse - and IF they've made an attempt to fix things - then human weakness may lead to outside validation. So IMO, the spouse can share some blame.
Hey Dude, get out of my head, it's crowded in there
LOVE this post. Not only is it well said, it's the God's honest truth.
Last edited by JustJulia; 03-13-2011 at 09:24 PM..
In most cases, they are. There is no need to saty together for the kids. Divorce can be survived if handled correctly.
And it is unfair to the parents. No one is happy in an unhappy house.
No, in most cases they are not better off. The statistics don't lie, after most divorces children end up with the mother, and single mother households are more likley to be living in poverty. Most criminals, indigents, drug addicts and uneducated people come from single mother households too.
I know what I am saying isn't popular, but it is the TRUTH which has been whitewashed by this feminist "I don't need a man" notion that brainwashes women into believing the should leave their husband at the slightest whiff of trouble. The children are the ones who suffer, not mom.
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