This forum kind of left me depressed... (wife, husbands, divorce)
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But alot of you are assuming or thinking that she married a bad man and she tried to change him or whatever else is in your minds already. It's the assuming that I'm shocked about here. The reasoning you're giving here is astounding to me because she not once said that about her marriage or about her relationship with her ex. She just asked a question about if she would be able to date a good man since she has children. And most of you are going off in another direction.
Where did the OP say she was married to her children's father?
ETA:
Now I've read another post that says that the OP's kids father has a mental illness. Did I miss something here?
I have had multiple requests to reopen this thread, so I know some of you are champing at the bit to jump in and give people a piece of your mind. Please don't call people idiots or other names (and statements like, "The posters here are such idiots," is skating really close). Report posts that you feel break the rules, because the mods may not have seen them all.
Game on.
Woo hoo, let's get going folks, missed out the fun in the later part of the evening, went to play some tennis, came back and saw this one was locked, come on folks, let's get the game going now.
Where did the OP say she was married to her children's father?
If that were the case, it would get even better, the 10/10 single mom of 2 born out of wedlock looking for her prince in shining armor, nothing less than a 10/10
If that were the case, it would get even better, the 10/10 single mom of 2 born out of wedlock looking for her prince in shining armor, nothing less than a 10/10
Don't be inflammatory.
Quote:
Originally Posted by noellea
I never said I was looking for a 10, perfectly fit, charming, attractive, successful man. All I want is to find someone whose company I enjoy. I don't need financial support just like my kids don't need another father. I own my own house, have my own job, pay my own bills and the boys father takes them every other week. From what I was reading on here, most men automatically hear single mom and think desperate.
I am obsessed with pretty much all other portions of city-data.com, so how I never migrated into the relationships forum before is beyond me.
I'm a recently single mother (2 yr old twin boys). I was with their father for 4 years and after YEARS of wanting to leave, I finally got the courage. I was having high expectations of hopefully one day finding someone who would love and respect me. That was until I came across all of the topics on single moms in this forum. People have some pretty nasty things to say about single moms.
One thing in particular that depressed me was a kid who said that single moms had to lower their standards because they were desperate. So a 10 woman, who would normally date 10s, would be left to date 6s if she were a mom. Brutal. And then the whole stereotype of single moms looking for a replacement father/financial support. Is that REALLY what men think about single mothers?
Am I, a 26 year old, college educated, successful, hard working, attractive woman, destined to lower my standards and get stereotyped continuously just because I am a single mother?
I have read about issues on C-D that I may not like but to allow them to depress me, not at all! All I can tell you is how I see people in the forums. They are not important in my life in the sense that they do not affect my pocket or control my life. I am here to interact and share but they are not people I go out with and have dinner, go to the movies, or that will affect what I have for dinner, or what I will wear, etc.
Also, in this forums people are hidding behind a computer. Take what people say with a grain of salt. I have no doubt many are lying about what they say. Many like to make themselve look great. Many I do not think express their true feelings. Surveys do show how much people lie online in forums like this. Some may be very brave here but are so weak in their daily life when they interact with others. Statistics say that in general great number of people lie, have you seen people here admit they are lying? No, everbody here is honest, correct? What are the odds people are lying here? They are there as far as I am concerned.
Do not let what you read here affect you as far as I am concerned. Once you do that, you are actually to get validation from people here as far as I am concerned, why? Are the people here that important to you?
I do interact with the premise that people are not lying because I do not who are the liers. But since I do not know that, I will take things with a grain of salt and not let it affect me.
Now, there are stereotypes on single mothers just as there are on other groups. You name any other type of group and you will find stereotypes.
A stereotype may be based on a see of truth. In other words that some of the things said about single moms may be true as general thing. The problem is that some people label every single person in that group as being that way. There is where stereotype is wrong. Some do not have the ability to see that and others do use with the ulterior motive of being discriminatory, take care.
Oh, give me a f'ing break.Can you not understand that life is not what you plan for sometimes?
You deliver the sympathy. I'll recommend solutions.
Quote:
Some of you are downright ignorant not only about dating and relationships but about life.
I might be oblivious to the stereotypes and hardships plaguing single mothers if there's indeed one. However, I do know a thing or ten about being stereotyped, and having to defy detrimental stereotypes on a daily basis.
I'm trying to solve problems here. I haven't made any far fetched assumptions that the reason behind OP's present state was her initial inability to pick a responsible partner. I barely care about that.
So have you never been in a failed relationship? And that makes me condescending for saying I have standards? Everybody has standards and qualities that attracts them to others. I never said I was looking for a 10, perfectly fit, charming, attractive, successful man. All I want is to find someone whose company I enjoy. I don't need financial support just like my kids don't need another father. I own my own house, have my own job, pay my own bills and the boys father takes them every other week. From what I was reading on here, most men automatically hear single mom and think desperate.
Hmm... failed relationship after being married for 4 years of which for several years you hated your husband. Twins that are 2 years old (odd that, with disliking the guy for years). He is so bad that he takes care of them every other week and I suppose pays child support as well. Your story does not seem to add up.
I mentioned it in my first post that you might have baggage that would lessen your dating prospects more than just being a single mom would. You do not sound reliable. That is something to be depressed about. I suggest you work on it.
I have read about issues on C-D that I may not like but to allow them to depress me, not at all! All I can tell you is how I see people in the forums. They are not important in my life in the sense that they do not affect my pocket or control my life. I am here to interact and share but they are not people I go out with and have dinner, go to the movies, or that will affect what I have for dinner, or what I will wear, etc.
Also, in this forums people are hidding behind a computer. Take what people say with a grain of salt. I have no doubt many are lying about what they say. Many like to make themselve look great. Many I do not think express their true feelings. Surveys do show how much people lie online in forums like this. Some may be very brave here but are so weak in their daily life when they interact with others. Statistics say that in general great number of people lie, have you seen people here admit they are lying? No, everbody here is honest, correct? What are the odds people are lying here? They are there as far as I am concerned.
Do not let what you read here affect you as far as I am concerned. Once you do that, you are actually to get validation from people here as far as I am concerned, why? Are the people here that important to you?
I do interact with the premise that people are not lying because I do not who are the liers. But since I do not know that, I will take things with a grain of salt and not let it affect me.
Now, there are stereotypes on single mothers just as there are on other groups. You name any other type of group and you will find stereotypes.
A stereotype may be based on a see of truth. In other words that some of the things said about single moms may be true as general thing. The problem is that some people label every single person in that group as being that way. There is where stereotype is wrong. Some do not have the ability to see that and others do use with the ulterior motive of being discriminatory, take care.
Come on now, I don't know many guys who ARE/WERE lying here. To say it doesn't matter is being untruthful. It's a hard pill to swallow for most men in her dating age bracket. Perhaps you never have seen men run before? I sure have, that's why I gave it to her straight. I don't hide behind my computer screen. I'd tell it to her to her face. I also present my posts accordingly.
Hmm... failed relationship after being married for 4 years of which for several years you hated your husband. Twins that are 2 years old (odd that, with disliking the guy for years). He is so bad that he takes care of them every other week and I suppose pays child support as well. Your story does not seem to add up.
I mentioned it in my first post that you might have baggage that would lessen your dating prospects more than just being a single mom would. You do not sound reliable. That is something to be depressed about. I suggest you work on it.
And the way she started out suggesting that she's a 10/10 that's too good for most guys, calling most of the younger men as boys and that she preferred older men(wonder why she has to bother at all about the boys in that case), mentioning a feminist biased article bashing younger men, and later a lame attempt at covering it up didn't help either, she's hardly credible, and her cover up at that rating scale as something she found somewhere else(wherever that is which she never pointed out), etc etc, seems like an attempt to cover up one lie with another.
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