Are there any guys out there that want kids? (Asians, husband, casual)
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I guess I just don't like it when guys try to get me to answer this question as a test so they can use the excuse "oh, she wants kids right away!" to not call again. (at least that's what it feels like sometimes)
I just want to be able to get to know someone to see if they are even someone I want to date, before the kids topic is brought up.
I don't ever bring it up, but after a few minutes, it seems like he is already asking me if I want kids, or casually mentions he's had a V.
Just don't get it!!
You must be finding some different men, because most of my friends, who are male, hasn't/didn't bring up having children to there SO. Obviously I have some friends who already have children, but there wives brought up children to them first. The only people that I've ever known to have a V, are married and doesn't want to have anymore children with there wives.
A little story with me: My last GF I had, which will be a year ago in August, was trying to put heavy pressure on me to have children 6 months prior to break up. She brought up having children with me first, she knew that I would make a great father, but, at the time, I wasn't mentally prepared for the hardships that children bring, and the probablility of facing a lay off, while being in the middle of an economic depression. I openly discussed it with her, basically every day, but with what was coming, I couldn't see it as anything short of a bad idea.
These conversations went on for a month, sometimes she would get mad and yell. I was pretty calm through those arguments as I understood her view. In the end, I put my foot down and said it wasn't happening, as my job was coming to an end, because the company I worked for was going under.
After that, she stopped communicating with me. a few months went by, while I tried to get in contact with her with repeated texts, phone calls, emails, etc. Basically everything except just walking up to her home and banging on the door(she viewed this as very disrespectful and I respected that.). Then finally in August she called me and told me that she couldn't be in a relationship with me anymore. And that was that. Now I'm willing to have children, just not in a time when I had no job nor income to support that decision.
You must be finding some different men, because most of my friends, who are male, hasn't/didn't bring up having children to there SO. Obviously I have some friends who already have children, but there wives brought up children to them first. The only people that I've ever known to have a V, are married and doesn't want to have anymore children with there wives.
A little story with me: My last GF I had, which will be a year ago in August, was trying to put heavy pressure on me to have children 6 months prior to break up. She brought up having children with me first, she knew that I would make a great father, but, at the time, I wasn't mentally prepared for the hardships that children bring, and the probablility of facing a lay off, while being in the middle of an economic depression. I openly discussed it with her, basically every day, but with what was coming, I couldn't see it as anything short of a bad idea.
These conversations went on for a month, sometimes she would get mad and yell. I was pretty calm through those arguments as I understood her view. In the end, I put my foot down and said it wasn't happening, as my job was coming to an end, because the company I worked for was going under.
After that, she stopped communicating with me. a few months went by, while I tried to get in contact with her with repeated texts, phone calls, emails, etc. Basically everything except just walking up to her home and banging on the door(she viewed this as very disrespectful and I respected that.). Then finally in August she called me and told me that she couldn't be in a relationship with me anymore. And that was that. Now I'm willing to have children, just not in a time when I had no job nor income to support that decision.
This.
Even though there are many deadbeats impregnating women with no intention of fathering children, it doesn't mean everyone has to.
I'm sure it's very difficult to be on different pages with your SO, at least you were willing to discuss it and express your views. I was in a LTR, he was ex fiance, it didn't work out for other reasons, but we did talk about kids and he wanted them with me. But the relationship just didn't work out. So I obviously don't want a kid just for the sake of having a kid, I am talking about being in a relationship with a man who wants a LTR that leads to marriage and kid(s).
I don't know where those types of men are, I'm not desparate, the times I like to go out on my own, it's to have lunch or dinner at a nice restaurant and keep to myself and have peace, I'm not hanging around in bars looking to latch on to a man. So, not sure what I'm doing wrong or why I seem to attract certain types of men. But I don't settle and I don't entertain the type of guy who just wants to hook up!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Prince_Frog
You must be finding some different men, because most of my friends, who are male, hasn't/didn't bring up having children to there SO. Obviously I have some friends who already have children, but there wives brought up children to them first. The only people that I've ever known to have a V, are married and doesn't want to have anymore children with there wives.
A little story with me: My last GF I had, which will be a year ago in August, was trying to put heavy pressure on me to have children 6 months prior to break up. She brought up having children with me first, she knew that I would make a great father, but, at the time, I wasn't mentally prepared for the hardships that children bring, and the probablility of facing a lay off, while being in the middle of an economic depression. I openly discussed it with her, basically every day, but with what was coming, I couldn't see it as anything short of a bad idea.
These conversations went on for a month, sometimes she would get mad and yell. I was pretty calm through those arguments as I understood her view. In the end, I put my foot down and said it wasn't happening, as my job was coming to an end, because the company I worked for was going under.
After that, she stopped communicating with me. a few months went by, while I tried to get in contact with her with repeated texts, phone calls, emails, etc. Basically everything except just walking up to her home and banging on the door(she viewed this as very disrespectful and I respected that.). Then finally in August she called me and told me that she couldn't be in a relationship with me anymore. And that was that. Now I'm willing to have children, just not in a time when I had no job nor income to support that decision.
I just want a kid, not to be a 3rd, 4th, or 5th wife!!
Lucky you, the members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints only get married to one person at a time. I know of some that have gotten divorced and remaried, but none that are married to more than one.
Even though there are many deadbeats impregnating women with no intention of fathering children, it doesn't mean everyone has to.
Hey I'm not a deadbeat lol.
I lost my job at the time due to situations that were out of my hands.
It did take me a while to find another job, and it's not like I didn't do things to try to make some kind of income for myself, but I do have income at a job that appears that it will not be going out of business for some time, especially since this place is about 3 years old, growing, and is still trying to recruit more people.
I'm sure it's very difficult to be on different pages with your SO, at least you were willing to discuss it and express your views. I was in a LTR, he was ex fiance, it didn't work out for other reasons, but we did talk about kids and he wanted them with me. But the relationship just didn't work out. So I obviously don't want a kid just for the sake of having a kid, I am talking about being in a relationship with a man who wants a LTR that leads to marriage and kid(s).
I don't know where those types of men are, I'm not desparate, the times I like to go out on my own, it's to have lunch or dinner at a nice restaurant and keep to myself and have peace, I'm not hanging around in bars looking to latch on to a man. So, not sure what I'm doing wrong or why I seem to attract certain types of men. But I don't settle and I don't entertain the type of guy who just wants to hook up!
I was looking to marry this girl. I was looking forward to children with her. The problem is, my job was coming to a quick end.
I don't like sex buddies, as that never works out. Hook-ups is something I was never fond of. I'd rather be involved in a relationship with that person rather than just rolling on/off of her when she came over.
Just wondering? If a girl is interested in getting married and having kids then does the woman refrain from having sex untill she is married or does she have sex with the men she dates and then wonders why she can't find anyone that wants to have kids with her? Chances are I wouldn't want to settle down withsomeone that allowed everyone free access to the goods without some form of thought that this is the one for me, this is the man I want to have kids with. Saying that you want to have children is amazing in this day and age. Still I would think that the cookie jar is locked up until the one that is worthy of a cookie comes around.
Haven't read much of this thread, but I will say that in my experience men from other cultures are much more likely to want families than american men. Just a thought; you may want to broaden your dating horizons!
Honestly, for me, if/when a woman asks me if I want kids in the beginning of dating, it sends off a red flag to me. Bad relationships in the past, maybe she's either really clingy or maybe she's desperate, could be a test to see how I'd respond. Either way, by the end of that question, I'm looking to dodge the bullet.
I didn't ask first and I would tell someone right away (I looked online and put on my profile) that I was not interested in having children. I didn't want to continue seeing them if that's was something they wanted. Avoid wasting someone's time, ya know?
Quote:
Originally Posted by SOON2BNSURPRISE
Just wondering? If a girl is interested in getting married and having kids then does the woman refrain from having sex untill she is married or does she have sex with the men she dates and then wonders why she can't find anyone that wants to have kids with her? Chances are I wouldn't want to settle down withsomeone that allowed everyone free access to the goods without some form of thought that this is the one for me, this is the man I want to have kids with. Saying that you want to have children is amazing in this day and age. Still I would think that the cookie jar is locked up until the one that is worthy of a cookie comes around.
This tactic weeds out plenty of guys that are up to no good. It worked for me but of course doesn't work for everyone. The one for me aspect not the kids part, I mean.
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