Met a gal who used to do porn, should I pursue a relationship? (boyfriend, girls)
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Where do you get these stats from? Assumption? It's an interesting debate. Is porn bad? Can we make such a blanket statement?
As far as dating / relationships go, it seems they take on a life of their own. Often without any apparent regard for the intentions of the people in them. Also, what makes them work is a mystery. Now I don't mean conceptually what makes them work (eg respect, love, attention). I mean of all the people I know, a large percentage of the relationships we thought would work out didn't and vice versa.
It's kind of funny that you brought up the "Is porn bad?" take. I would imagine that most of the people on here that have watched porn, would never consider seeing someone who was involved in it. The people who watch porn are responsible for the creation of it, I know chicken and the egg scenario, but you can see the hypocrisy I'm getting at? I don't look down on the actors as much as I look down on the people who create it.
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Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate
I say go for it. Whether you are looking for something long term or not, this is a good opportunity to get a feel for what she's made up of. If you do decide to keep her around, you know what you're working with.
I would say, more often than not, these people come with baggage. But a lot of them are just as capable of love and healthy relationships as anyone else.
Thanks for the insight PassTheChocolate!
Getting to know someone and learning about them is my addiction, and it is because of this that I don't have LTRs. I would practically just date with no sex, but most woman I meet don't seem to go for that. Apparently I am not fem enough to be best friend material. And I do have needs too.
All people come with baggage and this woman has less than many I have known. She is so honest and upfront that it is refreshing, but scary. I think to myself that I would never say somehing like that. I'm not a friends with benefits kind of guy but that may be the only option. i'll ask her about it?
I'm not taking her word for it. I'm taking his word for it.
I'm not the one who'll eventually have sex with her. That's OP problem if he's doesn't take the necessary steps to confirm it's indeed the case when doubts exist. I'm simply replying based on the info in OP. mmkay?
And to be clear myself, the STD issue isn't relegated to porn stars only. It's everywhere. I know too many people with herpes who caught it from a partner who had zero symptoms.
It's not the end of the world, but if it matters to you, I'm just giving a heads up that it's far more common in the general population than people think.
There's a lot of people who are convinced they don't have it, but they do.
Good for you, that you let her know you aren't into long term relationships. Apparently, she is open to the idea. Otherwise, she would not have had to tell you about it. Do not think of her as "damaged goods", and don't expect her to perform for you. Most (that I know of) prefer to maintain a difference or boundary between "work" and a relationship. The things she did on film may be something she wants to leave "at work", and there may be no place for it in a relationship, short term or long term.
It is also possible that the things she did on film may be things that she actually does enjoy. In that case.... You're on your own.
And to be clear myself, the STD issue isn't relegated to porn stars only. It's everywhere. I know too many people with herpes who caught it from a partner who had zero symptoms.
It's not the end of the world, but if it matters to you, I'm just giving a heads up that it's far more common in the general population than people think.
There's a lot of people who are convinced they don't have it, but they do.
Thanks SS. Your right it is everywhere and I have been more concerned with other woman Ive seen then her. Not like it matters, but the man was covered up in the films I saw. I thought it was odd cause no one is covered in porn Ive seen these days?
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Originally Posted by the_windwalker
Good for you, that you let her know you aren't into long term relationships. Apparently, she is open to the idea. Otherwise, she would not have had to tell you about it. Do not think of her as "damaged goods", and don't expect her to perform for you. Most (that I know of) prefer to maintain a difference or boundary between "work" and a relationship. The things she did on film may be something she wants to leave "at work", and there may be no place for it in a relationship, short term or long term.
It is also possible that the things she did on film may be things that she actually does enjoy. In that case.... You're on your own.
She only did 6 shoots and it was years ago so it's not like shes an expert at it, so I'm not sure what to expect from an experience stand point. I'm probably much more experienced than her from our conversation which was no holds barred. I know she doesn't do anal which is fine with me, been there done that!
The stuff she did on film was very conventional guy on girl stuff, nothing wild.
I would ask for an official std test, just to be safe. You never know how many people her onscreen partners slept with. (though that may offend her but since you said no LTR...)
No LTR, you already have this in your mind before you find out who she is. Sounds like your excited to be dating a former porn "star" and all that comes with it.
If you read through my post you would have a better idea of where I come from. It's not always about sex, you can only be having sex a small percentage of the time with someone! If I wanted the best sex in the world it was someone I dated several years ago. No one else will ever be that good. The porn thing is only slightly intriguing to me because it is different. Being someone who is completely open about normally secret aspects of their life is what is extremely intriguing.
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Originally Posted by Cindy_Jole
I would ask for an official std test, just to be safe. You never know how many people her onscreen partners slept with. (though that may offend her but since you said no LTR...)
It will come up if the relationship goes anywhere. Most likely will come up anyway considering how freely she talks about things
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. I'm not a friends with benefits kind of guy but that may be the only option. i'll ask her about it?
