A Girl's How to Ward Off Advances (Nicely) Guide (date, married, kids)
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I have a question. Every time a guy hits on me or tries to flirt, I get really pissed off.
What's wrong with me? It really ruins my inner peace and I wish I could just wear a sign that says "if you are looking for anything more than friendship, then back off"
I'm sending all these negative vibes and attention from any guy really stresses me out. There was this guy in one of my classes - goodlooking but he just would not shut up and I was trying to pay attention to the coursework.
HOw can I become a more pleasant and kind person? How can I better handle these situations? I think I just brutally crush/offend guys who try to be nice and it's not that I want to.... but I try to make myself clear..... And I hate being in that situation.
Like laughing at a guy's stupid jokes that are not funny to not hurt his feelings (done that, it gets tiring)
Going off on someone because he suggested that we have a lot in common
Really I am on a roll.
I think it might be b/c I like someone else and right now is not a good time for me to get into these things anyway.... How can I send this message out loud and clear?
This post makes me feel sorry for men. If they are just being pleasant, you treat them badly. Wow....ease up. When guys ask me out, I am honest and tell them I am involved right now. Just flirting a little never hurt anyone, but you can still let them know you have a guy already. As far as being friendly, you can never have too many friends. Think of it this way too. If a guy worked up the nerve to approach you, and you crush him....it will be hard for him to approach the next woman. Be kind.
Did I ever mention that I wanted to become a nun when I was little? I don't know why, I just knew I loved God. But then decided against it when I graduated from high school, cause I realized that the nunnery was about serving the priest and the elders, instead of God. I only wanted to serve God and sing praises to God, not some lowly human. Besides, I'm not the religious type, nor Cathoholic (intentional misspelling).
I think you are way too into yourself. Neither men nor women have any real life capacity for mind reading, and body language can mean any number of things. Do not go around this world assuming that people know that they are irritating you or that you have a boyfriend or whatever the situation is.
You need to be direct with people and just say something to them in a way that is humane, and mature. I have met too many women with your mindset and attitude that everyone should just automatically know everything you are thinking and feeling. I have met way too many women like you who are easily creeped out by men or really, their own shadow to be honest.
Men are not all animals, men are not all perverts, men are not all wife beaters or rapists, etc. We men are actually out here who have BIG hearts, genuine care for others around us, respect for ourselves and those occupying the world with us. Just because a man talks to you, jokes with you, looks your direction, wants to socialize with you, does not automatically mean he wants to have a romantic relationship or f**k you!
Arrogance comes in all forms and this type of arrogance, judgement, and selfishness just drives the wedge further between men and women in society generally speaking. It is bad enough that women these days constantly call 911 simply because there is a man walking near them or looking their direction, or god forbid a man says a simple "hello" and starts / attempts to start a good conversation.
The lesson learned here is that you still have some growing up to do.
About two weeks ago I was at the gym and this guy smiled at me. I smiled back, I'm friendly, but I'm there to work out right? He smiled at me again a few minutes later, and he was kinda cute, so I smiled, a real smile, but didn't really keep eye contact. Then I lost sight of him.
About five minutes later he came up beside me and introduced himself. I told him my name, and he told me in a really nice way that I had spinach in between my teeth. Not my two front teeth but 2nd incisor and canine.
Hey, Aquene? What if the guy would have tried to be your friend or tried to be social with you and you knew his intentions were to eventually grow that into a relationship? Would you have shot him down or would you have accepted him with the honesty of whatever it was you were not looking for?
From what I know, MANY marriages these days start in the gym or the grocery store, some local community place as well as this very message board and other internet sources.
Hey, Aquene? What if the guy would have tried to be your friend or tried to be social with you and you knew his intentions were to eventually grow that into a relationship? Would you have shot him down or would you have accepted him with the honesty of whatever it was you were not looking for?
From what I know, MANY marriages these days start in the gym or the grocery store, some local community place as well as this very message board and other internet sources.
I would have welcomed it. It's really hard to find people to be friends with that are my age where I live (SW FL). I'm not looking to get married again, but I probably wouldn't have mentioned that in the gym.
I pretty routinely go up to people and introduce myself. I attend conferences by myself a lot, and if I don't want to sit there talking into my iced tea, I need to get over myself and go up to people. Men, women, old, young... I like listening to people.
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