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I totally agree with this, but I've almost never met anyone at the library and I hang out at them all the time. The one time I did meet someone he was drop dead gorgeous and trying to talk to me but I was dressed for a workout and with no makeup on so I froze up on him. Waaahh! Then it occurred to me later--he thought I was attractive enough to talk to so why did I counteract his judgment? As for meeting folks in the grocery store--it's mainly been old ladies and children--I see handsome men but rarely have the opportunity to actually talk to them and just about the time I start to clear my throat and ask one if these tangerines are any good, along will come his woman. (And yes, I look for wedding rings.)
You may want to broaden your outlook a bit..
Joking, but you do get a more objective perspective on this forum when you are off the grid, so to speak. I've been no angel, but I have been off the dating game for going on 15 years now, and what strikes me is how different the approaches seem to be to dating. One other thing I wanted to mention is all the rules, the checklists that people have.. he can't be this, he can't be that, but he must be that and it is a deal breaker for me. I certainly understand preferences, but when you count people out before they have a chance to plead their case that is unfair not only to them, but more importantly to "you", the general you, because you just don't know. If you're strong preference is a guy with a full head of curly black hair and a minimum of six feet in height, you may be turning away one who could turn out to be THE one. You know?
Every woman I've ever dated, I've met in a chance encounter while going through my daily routine. I've never been set up or used an online dating site. I just see someone that looks interesting, I walk up to them and talk about something random. If the conversation continues and gets interesting I cut it short ask for a number or email address (yes those work too) so we can continue our conversation. If they say yes, you build from there. I've dated women I met in an elevator, on the steps waiting for a class, sitting down for a drink (I noticed the woman after I already sat down), in a school club convention wearing a cat hat on my head and in the gamer room of school just looking for a place to sit. The last one is how I met the love of my life whom I'm with now.
I mean this was the approach that always worked for me. Maybe this thread should be more about spontaneity; that is what I think is lacking most often..
She's young, in school, has 2 jobs (working with customers), and grew up in this town...
lol, I don't meet anyone at school or work. My customers are mostly tourists so even if any of them are cute, they're taken or from out of town or even from out of the country! But yes, being raised here does have an advantage, but I'm still single..so not much of one.
lol, I don't meet anyone at school or work. My customers are mostly tourists so even if any of them are cute, they're taken or from out of town or even from out of the country! But yes, being raised here does have an advantage, but I'm still single..so not much of one.
And even all these things considered, I, the transplant, even tried to play Cupid based on your own post about lack of eligible men!
In other words, the lifestyle in most US cities is hardly conducive to meeting people by chance (particularly once you're out of school) and the post below probably needs to be toned down somewhat!
Quote:
Originally Posted by mir86
I don't use online dating and I meet men all the time (well there are dry spells at times), and I'm shy too! No excuses people!
And even all these things considered, I, the transplant, even tried to play Cupid based on your own post about lack of eligible men!
In other words, the lifestyle in most US cities is hardly conducive to meeting people by chance (particularly once you're out of school) and the post below probably needs to be toned down somewhat!
yes yes..there isn't much of a lack of available men..its a lack of quality available men, that I'm interested in, lol. I still meet them by chance, at times, haha. Other times, yes, I need help.
You're right though! and maybe there are excuses in some cases, haha.
I wonder if it is just inherently more difficult for women. They may be by nature a little more passive, plus there is always the safety issue..
Well, generally, if people have more family, friends, have lived their whole lives in some area, have more active social life, and go out more, they're more likely to meet somebody by chance. If a hermit wants trouble, he/she usually needs to trouble it.
yes yes..there isn't much of a lack of available men..its a lack of quality available men, that I'm interested in, lol. I still meet them by chance, at times, haha. Other times, yes, I need help.
You're right though! and maybe there are excuses in some cases, haha.
Your greatest weapon is awareness. Pay attention to those around you. Maybe a guy is reading a book you love or maybe every morning you see the same man buying a cup of coffee at your favorite coffee shop. The little details signal us of our fate. Maybe the chance encounter wasn't really a chance encounter
Well, generally, if people have more family, friends, have lived their whole lives in some area, have more active social life, and go out more, they're more likely to meet somebody by chance. If a hermit wants trouble, he/she usually needs to trouble it.
It's kind of funny, isn't it? 'You' want you want. You seek and seek. And you finally find, and then what? Now you gotta live with the b*astards..
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