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Isn't that where the fun is, the excitement? When you make such a science out of it, how do you not seem desperate? Also, when you are constantly judging yourself on your attractiveness to the opposite sex, how do you not lose your self confidence, your self identity?
IMO the fine art of communication/conversation has been affected by our heavy dependancy on using the Internet for communication. People now will IM/text people in the same building instead of going over to talk, seems to be a trend. And the abilty to google someone prior to meeting them allows you to know more about them than they might intend
Chance encounters are alive and well and are unlikely to disappear. It's just that there are now other ways to meet people that work well. Perhaps you are uncomfortable with using them. Does that diminish how confident you are in meeting someone? As for your other question, I can only say that I've never bothered judging myself on my attractiveness or self-confidence. I've found friends anddates in a variety of ways, but do find that using the internet is far more effective and a more efficient use of my time. On the other hand, I've met some great people at dance classes lately, so chance encounters continue to work fine as well.
I agree that the internet has a bit to do with it, but I think gadgetry in general is more to blame for the lack of chance encounters. Look at how many people out and about have headphones on or are making phone calls or texting while walking around or riding the bus or shopping. Lots of people are closed off to the kind of interaction that makes chance encounters possible. That said, they can still happen if you're open to them and you want them to happen.
I think people are too wary of others nowadays and don't have the spark to talk to strangers and flirt with them. Too many people read or watch scary movies and thinks they're talking to serial killers on an every day basis.
Also if you read countless threads in here. People don't even know how to be social anymore. They don't even know how to be themselves. Quite sad, really.
I agree that the internet has a bit to do with it, but I think gadgetry in general is more to blame for the lack of chance encounters. Look at how many people out and about have headphones on or are making phone calls or texting while walking around or riding the bus or shopping. Lots of people are closed off to the kind of interaction that makes chance encounters possible. That said, they can still happen if you're open to them and you want them to happen.
I agree with you. People are becoming recluse even when in public because they are closing themselves off with cellphones or headphones.
I think technology has made it possible to to search for people, to screen people, to communicate with them from a safe distance, and also to read an unlimited amount of opinions of what guys/girls want, how and where are the most likely ways to attract, how to dress, talk, what to do and not to do on the first, second, date etc. It just seems so sterile to me. Granted I am not a kid, mid 40's, not in the dating game anymore, but it just seems to be such a ball breaker. I honestly don't know how (a) when you smell this kind of over thinking, planning, preparing on someone, how it is not an immediate turn off, like your being set-up for something. And (b) how your innate self love does not suffer as a consequence.
hmm...I still have chance encounters...had one on Friday night while out to eat with friends. Another friend of mine wants me to meet some of his clients..that's another "chance" in a way. I don't use online dating and I meet men all the time (well there are dry spells at times), and I'm shy too! No excuses people!
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