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Instead of telling him he OWED you an apology, why not tell him how his actions made you feel.
I honestly cannot stand when someone says "you owe me an apology". That would put me on the defensive and yes, it probably would not be very sincere either. Now if that same person said "what you did really hurt me" that would at least open the doors for communication.
I always hate it when adults tell children to apologize. It's not sincere if someone is basically forcing you to say it. I teach my kids how to communicate their feelings instead of spewing some generic "I'm sorry". That doesn't solve anything and they learn nothing from it.
Ok, and that was just a hypothetical situation I made up as an example.
And I don't mind it if someone says you owe me an apology, because maybe I do and I am just not seeing it. Then again, I must not be too smart if (hypothetically) I could not figure it out.
Ok, and that was just a hypothetical situation I made up as an example.
And I don't mind it if someone says you owe me an apology, because maybe I do and I am just not seeing it. Then again, I must not be too smart if (hypothetically) I could not figure it out.
I don't think it necessarily means a person isn't smart if they don't see that they owe someone an apology. I think it has more to do with the person being self-absorbed and not being able to see outside of their own perspective. But, if a person realizes that and takes steps to change that, I think that's heading in the right direction.
I don't think it necessarily means a person isn't smart if they don't see that they owe someone an apology. I think it has more to do with the person being self-absorbed and not being able to see outside of their own perspective. But, if a person realizes that and takes steps to change that, I think that's heading in the right direction.
That's a very good point about the self-absorption. Not to sidetrack, but that is one of the reasons a narcissist will never apologize. And empathy is important too, and some people seem to be seriously lacking in that department.
Ok, so your spouse sleeps with someone else. Scenario A - your spouse says I was horrible and please forgive me. Scenario B - I tell my spouse he owes me an apology and I get one.
Somehow to me Scenario A seems more sincere.
You are missing the point
IS THE PERSON APOLOGIZING REALLY SORRY???
If they are only telling you what you want to hear to placate you then the apology is not sincere and is not valid, whether you asked for it or not.
Asking for an apology is not the point - the true sincere remorse, or lack of it, of the person giving it IS the point.
I too think you are missing the point. The first thing I wanted to say was "grow up". if you 'demand' an apology from someone it means nothing. If an apology is given without you asking for it, you should be able to tell if the person is sincere or not. The grown up thing to do is accept the apology and move on. Having a grudge because you think someone wronged you, helps no one.
I too think you are missing the point. The first thing I wanted to say was "grow up". if you 'demand' an apology from someone it means nothing. If an apology is given without you asking for it, you should be able to tell if the person is sincere or not. The grown up thing to do is accept the apology and move on. Having a grudge because you think someone wronged you, helps no one.
I beg your pardon. Do not be telling me to "grow up" when you don't know me from Adam. You sound like my mother... the "grown up thing to do is...
And who ever said anything about "demanding" an apology? Don't put words in my mouth.
I would tell that person how I am feeling, not that they owe me an apology, once they've been told it's up to them how they react, or not.
Yep. Round4 got it right.
Regards,
Streamer1212
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the "grown up thing to do is...
