Funeral reviewals or wakes as "meet and greets?" (love, family)
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This is what I went through at my father's funeral. It was a farce. A bunch of long lost relatives I didn't even know who acted like we were at some chit chat party than anything else. I did not see one person approach my dad's coffin, but maybe that's because they were too busy trying to figure out who I was. OMG, I was exhausted on my feet making small talk before the service. Then NO ONE turned up at the cemetery except the immediate family.
Anyways, I'll never do another. Including my mother's. Thoughts? What has your experience been?
This is what I went through at my father's funeral. It was a farce. A bunch of long lost relatives I didn't even know who acted like we were at some chit chat party than anything else. I did not see one person approach my dad's coffin, but maybe that's because they were too busy trying to figure out who I was. OMG, I was exhausted on my feet making small talk before the service. Then NO ONE turned up at the cemetery except the immediate family.
Anyways, I'll never do another. Including my mother's. Thoughts? What has your experience been?
You may have been the only one there that was "long lost". Frankly, I think it's incredibly insensitive of you to speak of the family of the deceased (even if it's yours) in such a manner. Given that you didn't know anyone, you obviously were not close and haven't a clue how they felt.
You may have been the only one there that was "long lost". Frankly, I think it's incredibly insensitive of you to speak of the family of the deceased (even if it's yours) in such a manner. Given that you didn't know anyone, you obviously were not close and haven't a clue how they felt.
Well, you weren't there, so you wouldn't know. And they didn't know me either, so so much for your theory I didn't know anyone and was alone in that.
Correct. And apparently, neither would you. Funerals and wakes DO bring together relatives that have not seen each other in years...sometimes even those that despise one another. The reason they come is to show support for one another, and for those that are grieving. And of course, to pay their respects and to honor the deceased. For you to lambast them simply because YOU didn't know them, is just plain childish.
Correct. And apparently, neither would you. Funerals and wakes DO bring together relatives that have not seen each other in years...sometimes even those that despise one another. The reason they come is to show support for one another, and for those that are grieving. And of course, to pay their respects and to honor the deceased. For you to lambast them simply because YOU didn't know them, is just plain childish.
Right, that's why six of the comments on his Internet obituary came from me and two of my friends out of state. Or is everyone in my family out of state illiterate when it comes to computers? Oh, I should say the ONLY six comments to clarify.
You are 'reviewing' the funeral as some kind of performance?
Shouldn't you go to pay your respects to your loved ones rather than thinking about how put out you are by other people's actions?
Usually only the immediate family goes to the cemetery unless otherwise invited.
My mother was disappointed about this (what I bolded).
What was the "performance" was the reviewal (we're not Catholic or I'd say wake). Maybe no one wanted to view a wax figure in a coffin - including me, which is why I'll never do it again.
I'm sorry for the loss of your father. You are obviously grieving and your feelings are raw. It sounds to me like you felt disrespected when other people were not (outwardly) grieving as deeply as you were, or perhaps the funeral wasn't as somber as you expected. I think it's normal for people to make friendly small talk before and after a funeral.
Wakes, especially, are a celebration in honor of the deceased. Most people like to grieve privately, it doesn't mean that they are not feeling the loss.
Don't try so hard to read insult into the actions of others when there was none intended. Or do you feel that they were deliberately trying to diss you?
The thing is, you should never miss an important family member's funeral. It doesn't matter if those people didn't approach your parted father, you were there and you participated in the service.
If you're not there, you may regret it for the rest of your life.
I'm sorry for the loss of your father. You are obviously grieving and your feelings are raw. It sounds to me like you felt disrespected when other people were not grieving as deeply as you were, or perhaps the funeral wasn't as somber as you expected. I think it's normal for people to make friendly small talk before and after a funeral.
Wakes, especially, are a celebration in honor of the deceased. Most people like to grieve privately, it doesn't mean that they are not feeling the loss.
We're not Catholic, rather Lutheran, which is pretty damn somber. As to grieving, yeah, I'm grieving over a lot of stuff related to my dad's passing.
Thanks for your condolences.
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Funerals and wakes DO bring together relatives that have not seen each other in years...sometimes even those that despise one another. The reason they come is to show support for one another, and for those that are grieving. And of course, to pay their respects and to honor the deceased. For you to lambast them simply because YOU didn't know them, is just plain childish.
