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So if a woman likes a man she should also want to, yes?
And if two people both want to pay, the most reasonable solution is to either both pay half or to alternate, isn't it?
It depends. Every situation is different. But if you are a guy and you are asking out a girl. Then if you have it, then you should want to. Nobody's saying that "anyone" has to do anything. It's about "wanting too. Not having too. What you are doing is finding a fight where there really shouldn't be..Honestly, it's kind of cheap.
Yes. I saw your attempt at a sex joke earlier.
It wasn't clever enough to deserve a reply.
But if you're going to continue posting it then I'll give you the satisfaction of a reply.
Look if a woman if not offering to pay by the 3rd or 4th date and we haven't been intimate then I;m obviously being used for dinner
Why?
What if a woman asks me out, should she want to?
What if we mutually agree to attend an event together?
That's another scenario. Every situation is different. Do you just look for things to argue about? It's pretty self explanatory. All your mumbo jumbo is irrelevant. If "you" don't want to pay, it's simple-don't!
Why is it cheap?
Is it cheap if a woman doesn't want to pay?
It depends. Neither a man or women should feel "entitled" to anything..You can define that any way you want. I'm sure you will!
I don't mind paying for the date or for share, I'm all for it, but I've never been in this situation where the guy asked me straight out before the date to pay for it. I'm not sure how to react to this.
We've been dating for a month now, he paid for all the past dates.
Of course I said I'd be more than happy to, but still. I'm having mixed feelings about this.
What would your reaction be?
Why would this bother you? Do you like the guy or not? Would you dislike him because he was broke that week? Be happy he wanted to see you...even if he was broke.
This would not bother me if I really liked the guy.
If you really don't mind paying for the occasional date, you probably should have already. He obviously was feeling a bit funny about it too. But, if you aren't that into him, now's your chance.
Since the beginning of time it's been the female's job to produce offspring.For this reason I fully expect every female that I provide for to engage in sexual intercourse with me. If they refuse it would be the end of the dating relationship for me.
Neither you or I are jerks. We are entitled to our opinions.
False.
"Human reproduction is any form of sexual reproduction resulting in the conception of a child, typically involving sexual intercourse between a man and a woman. " Human reproduction - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
You might be entitled to your opinion, but freedom of speech is unattainable unless all men in their degree are capable of reason and moral responsibility. Based on what you just posted, it doesn't seem to me that you are capable of either. So it is wise to keep some of your opinion to yourself.
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Originally Posted by DivineComedy
That's an option
There's the other option of her leaving behind the misogynistic history of male/female relationships and joining the 21st century.
Define "misogynistic history of male/female relationships"
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Originally Posted by DivineComedy
How is my expectation any more obnoxious than the expectation that the male finance all the dates?
Your expectation is not obnoxious, it is the way you getting your point across obnoxious. I think you should know it by now.
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Originally Posted by DivineComedy
Why?
If I ask my buddies if they want to go to a concert am I obligated to pay for them?
Why is it different in dating?
I've certainly paid for my friends. My friends have also paid for me. I've paid for my dates, my dates have also paid for me. If dating /paying becomes an obligation, cancel the dates. It is really that simple.
Men paying for women on dates because they enjoy their company, and view it as a kind gesture. I personally am fine with the gender role traditions, as long as they're consistently applied.
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Originally Posted by DivineComedy
Really?
Can I get a copy of these rules?
Can I get a copy of the penalty for breaking the rules? Who decided these rules?
Politics aside , we are still neurologically hardwired to ancient patterns around the rituals of mating. Men 'provide', women choose to accept, then provide back at greater cost to her physical being (progeny). Most animals, the more complex ones, perform this type of mating ritual. It's a give and take. It's when people start dumping their issues, biases and neuroses into the mix that things get screwed up.
You decide your own dating rules. Nobody really cares, seriously.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DivineComedy
Hmm...because I've had plenty of women pay half on the first date and I've still had second dates with them.
I guess these unwritten rules aren't too strictly enforced
You define your own rules obviously, nobody really cares, really.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DivineComedy
Then why'd you say 'first date'?
I don't typically date online.
The majority of my first dates pay on the first date. I have second dates with the majority of women that I have a first date with.
Then why bother arguing with random posters online? You have no problems getting dates (first or second), you have no problems getting your bills paid by women. What is the point of arguing then?
I paid for my boyfriend and I's first date. We are happily together two years later. I paid for more when he was still in grad school, now he pulls his weight, if not slightly more than I do. We still try to alternate every other date, but don't get hung up on it.
I buy things if it's just more convenient while he's at work, for example, concert tickets or something.
We really don't think of it. I think if one of us was short on cash which hasn't happened yet, we'd say "let's not go out tonight" or we would take care of each other.
Even though he makes 30k more/year than me I'll still get him gifts and pay for dates my fair share.
I also hate feeling "in debt" and I want him to feel special, just as I do. He cooks amazing meals for me when I come home from work (when he visits), does his dishes, and will do his laundry if he's staying more than a few days.
It works for us. It's nice having a mutual relationship because neither of us has ever wondered the others intentions.
He likes to treat me (us) nice on special occasions and usually treats since it' important to him, but we never get anything astronomical. He's seen me at my worst and he's amazingly thoughtful. I'm a lucky girl.
People shouldn't think about it so much. In my view, if you are in love, you won't hold it against a man who doesn't pay for you. To me, it's a sign of respect. I'm also lucky in that my boyfriend has an amazing amount of respect for me and shows me in ways far greater than money. Distance relationships ain't easy. When I was in the "early" stages of dating any of my previous men, I usually like to be mutual as well since I hate the "in debt" feeling and I want to pull my weight. I was also never big into casual dating. Who knows, maybe that helped me in the end.
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Define "misogynistic history of male/female relationships"
