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Is it really to do with the quality of the men out there or are they simply too picky, holding out for something which does not exist or is so rare in real life? Their criteria often sounds simple enough: someone caring, kind, funny, smart blah blah, these traits aren't exactly rare, yet women complain they can't find Mr. Right or even get a decent date. Fellas, doesn't that annoy you somewhat? They complain because out of the dozens of suitors none meets their lofty standards (or rather, they ***** and moan about the last three when they knew they were getting themselves into ) while a lot of guys can't even find a woman to be abusive to him? lol
Or maybe the other answer, that what you see on TV isn't a real reflection on real life, and is full of women who think they don't really need men, yet constantly whine and complain that they can't find that special someone.
Both genders complain, but that's life and life ain't easy, at least for most people. Generally speaking women have market power in their 20's and 30's, then the market power shifts to men as woman have a hard time keeping up their appearances. It's not to say males in their 20's and 30's should give up, or women 40+ should be put out to pasture, just that younger women tend to have an easier time in the dating scene and older males tend to have an easier time in the dating scene then younger males, from what I've seen anyway.
Not getting married isn't going to mean you have better relationships. Your parents didn't set a good example for you because they have/had bad relationship skills/habits....probably a lot of little things they may not be aware of. It happens.
If you want to do better than your parents in regard to relationships, not getting married is not really going to fix that.
Read Why Marriages Succeed or Fail by John Gottman (or really, anything by him) if you want to do better than your parents do/did.
I guess I would have bought, in theory, that a woman's has less "dating" value as she gets older.
But being forced out in the dating pool at 42, and accruing 2 years of experience I would have to disagree.
There was no problem with finding men my own age, older, AND younger. I actually felt I had more value than in my 20s. And these were for the most part, white collar men, who are athletic, so they have aged well.
A lot of the men I talked to didn't want to date young girls (or so they said ), primarily because they felt they had nothing in common with them. They liked women who were financially and experience-wise, their equals. Someone who they could also TALK to. Sure, they still found them totally hot, but that wasn't enough. And they younger guys all wanted a woman who had her life together.
I suspect a lot of these opinions are coming from individuals who have not even reached the age they have so many opinions on.
I'm by no means unique, and I don't have a lot of friends complaining they can't find a decent man.
Do you think, if weight/looks didn't change except for normal aging, that you would garner the same volume of interest in your 40's as you would in your 20's? Women in their 40's garner interest from younger men all the time. In most cases, it's because the guy is looking for a good time with the older women and there's no possibility of a relationship, other than something purely sexual. Some younger men will date women substantially older and form a relationship, but generally those are men who aren't looking for someone to grow old with and have a family, just someone who's a good time (sexually and other) for the time being.
Just a little word of advice for you, don't take what men say to attract a woman as gospel (younger guys want a woman with her life together, older guys have nothing in common with a younger woman, etc). Men often say these things to get into a woman's pants. Check out their actions, not their words.
Both genders complain, but that's life and life ain't easy, at least for most people. Generally speaking women have market power in their 20's and 30's, then the market power shifts to men as woman have a hard time keeping up their appearances. It's not to say males in their 20's and 30's should give up, or women 40+ should be put out to pasture, just that younger women tend to have an easier time in the dating scene and older males tend to have an easier time in the dating scene then younger males, from what I've seen anyway.
Generally speaking you're wrong, at least based on the links I've provided thus far. Like most, you're spoon fed media blitz and lap it up without thinking.
Generally speaking you're wrong, at least based on the links I've provided thus far. Like most, you're spoon fed media blitz and lap it up without thinking.
Actually, I live it. I see how much easier dating is as a man in his 40's. I also see how there are many women who had plenty of male attention in their 20's see it decreasing as they age each year. Keep in mind I'm not talking about people who have had dramatic changes in their appearance.
Generally speaking you're wrong, at least based on the links I've provided thus far. Like most, you're spoon fed media blitz and lap it up without thinking.
Maybe the link was talking about males that were highly sought after? Since we are using statistics. We can assume that in youth only 20-30 percent of males are sought after by 90 percent of females. Once people age the women that can not get the 20-30 percent males anymore. Broaden their group percentages. So its now 50-72 percent of males are getting some attention by a single woman.
Would you agree? I did read the articles you posted.
It's not only the bad boys that women in their teens and 20s want but you forget that the young women want the guys that all the females want.
A man's value increases as he gets older, a woman's value decreases as she gets older. That's why women get nicer as they age because they know their looks fade.
That's why I tell guys, don't sweat it if you're in your 20s and not getting women. Get your education and work on getting your money right and travel the world meeting women.
A man's sex appeal is more likely to increase as he ages. A woman's sex appeal is more likely to decrease as she ages. Of course, all of this is moot after a certain age.
Do you think, if weight/looks didn't change except for normal aging, that you would garner the same volume of interest in your 40's as you would in your 20's? Women in their 40's garner interest from younger men all the time. In most cases, it's because the guy is looking for a good time with the older women and there's no possibility of a relationship, other than something purely sexual. Some younger men will date women substantially older and form a relationship, but generally those are men who aren't looking for someone to grow old with and have a family, just someone who's a good time (sexually and other) for the time being.
Just a little word of advice for you, don't take what men say to attract a woman as gospel (younger guys want a woman with her life together, older guys have nothing in common with a younger woman, etc). Men often say these things to get into a woman's pants. Check out their actions, not their words.
And you know all of this HOW??? True you are using words like "most" and "generally", but trust me when I tell you that there are more younger men out there with older women where your generalizations do not apply. esp since many men do not want children. AND, if it were just for the "good time" then those are the ones in which usually the older woman initiates which then is advice not needed to be given to females. Plus it would then also not fit into the OP's original question as to what you had suggested and "decent" are not synonymous.
And just for your information, older women/younger men long termrelationships have been around for a WHOLE lot longer than you think.
Last edited by Sagitarrius48; 08-14-2011 at 06:06 PM..
A pretty good theory overall, esp. what I hightlighted. BUT I think due to this, the general population of men has regressed and gone into a shell of some sorts. Being a teacher, I have seen the decline of the male gender for awhile now..and there are a couple of books wanting to know what is happening to our boys (who will soon be men). I do think that we women have unknowing (or not) symbolically castrated them in a way...and now we are feeling the effects of that castration...and to be honest, I feel for many of them, for it is "dam*ed if they do and dam*ed if they don't in many areas. Take for example opening a door when he sees a woman. In the past, he would without even thinking; but today he may have to think about it as he plays the senario in his mind of the woman telling him that she can do it herself!
Why do we have so many boys/teens with little ambition or drive to do well, esp. in school? Women now outrank men in colleges; and as another more personal example, senior honors night at my daughter's high school. THose students with a 3.5 were honored onstage, and all but two were female. Those getting higher than a 1200 on the SAT, only one female and 12 boys.... how can that be??? Because they don't care, are not motivated and would rather play video games than work.
GO to a bank, and look at the tellers and now even VP's...all women for the most part; look on tv at the local news esp on weekends. No men at the anchor desks to speak of...all women. And I could go on and on... so WHERE are men working??? What are they doing or planning on doing with their lives??? I am stymied....and scared....esp. due to the economy where those men who hard working and ambitious have lost their jobs (often with their wives still employed). It is like we are setting up our whole country for failure and we are oblivious about it.
I think the greatest disservice done to boys (although this is also done to girls) is the whole "everyone is a winner" thing so common in education these days. By stripping out "you win some, you lose some," it destroys competitive drive, removes any incentive to put effort in, and, most importantly, does not teach anyone how to lose. I think this is particularly detrimental for boys in particular, because like it or not, they still do most of the pursuing when it comes to dating, and judging from what I see on these boards, they don't know how to lose (ie, deal with rejection).
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43
I guess I would have bought, in theory, that a woman's has less "dating" value as she gets older.
But being forced out in the dating pool at 42, and accruing 2 years of experience I would have to disagree.
There was no problem with finding men my own age, older, AND younger. I actually felt I had more value than in my 20s. And these were for the most part, white collar men, who are athletic, so they have aged well.
A lot of the men I talked to didn't want to date young girls (or so they said ), primarily because they felt they had nothing in common with them. They liked women who were financially and experience-wise, their equals. Someone who they could also TALK to. Sure, they still found them totally hot, but that wasn't enough. And they younger guys all wanted a woman who had her life together.
I suspect a lot of these opinions are coming from individuals who have not even reached the age they have so many opinions on.
Like this one. vvvv
Quote:
Originally Posted by jimmorrison75
What a load of over-generalized garbage. I laughed especially loud at the comment about men "reacting to change" while women "took change into their own hands". Riiiight, Dr. Martin Luther King was a reactor. What a joke.
An exquisite demonstration of the failure of a "new" member to look up his history before posting. Martin Luther King Jr. fought predominantly for civil rights for people of color. Susan B. Anthony and the suffragists came long before him. If you are going to mix apples and oranges, you could have at least pulled from the same period of history and trotted out Frederick Douglass.
A man's sex appeal is more likely to increase as he ages. A woman's sex appeal is more likely to decrease as she ages. Of course, all of this is moot after a certain age.
Jeeze louize.....how old are you males on here?? Teenagers????? Are you NOT in the same century I am in??? Many men my age are lamenting that no one my age wants them, nor the younger women either!!!!
S*x appeal is different from Sl*t appeal!!!
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) while a lot of guys can't even find a woman to be abusive to him? lol
), primarily because they felt they had nothing in common with them. They liked women who were financially and experience-wise, their equals. Someone who they could also TALK to. Sure, they still found them totally hot, but that wasn't enough. And they younger guys all wanted a woman who had her life together.
