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A girlfriend and I made a bet. She saw this thread and thinks that all guys are drawn to looks before anything else. We're going out this weekend to a local bar, and I'm going to try to make her see that I can attract a guy based on my personality alone and not have him say, "I think you're attractive", "I came to talk to you because you're pretty", or any variant of that phrase.
I'm going to wear my hair up, put on my reading glasses, and put on a loose dress-type outfit (almost like a romper) so that guys can be fixated on my personality alone. I'm not planning on looking unattractive, but I'm not going to wear anything form-fitting. I understand that some guys go for the 'nerdy' looking type, but around here most guys are quick to hit on girls who dress more 'spicy'.
I'm not sure it'll work- it's kind of an experiment- but if I'm unable to attract anyone based on my personality alone, then I have to buy my friend lunch for 5 weekends in a row. Wish me luck!
*Update*
Well, my friend and I ended up carrying out our bet this weekend. Unfortunately, it did not bode well for me. I got approached a total of 4 times and, despite the fact that I didn't wear anything that would be deemed as 'sexy', I STILL got told (by all 4 guys) how pretty I was and how great I looked in the glasses that I was wearing.
As I mentioned, I wanted to show my friend that I could attract a guy based on my personality alone. Well, not ten minutes into our night, I immediately got hit on and the first thing the guy said was, "You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen!". At that point my friend had to turn her head, so as not to start laughing her butt off in front of us. I knew I was doomed, but I let the guy buy me a drink anyway. We chatted for a couple of minutes, but I think he saw that I wasn't interested and decided to leave.
The other 3 guys were fairly good-looking (even though one of them had a mullet!). Anyway, I guess it IS harder to attract someone based on your personality than I had initially thought.
The thing that sucks is that now I owe my friend lunch 5 weeks in a row
Well, my friend and I ended up carrying out our bet this weekend. Unfortunately, it did not bode well for me. I got approached a total of 4 times and, despite the fact that I didn't wear anything that would be deemed as 'sexy', I STILL got told (by all 4 guys) how pretty I was and how great I looked in the glasses that I was wearing.
As I mentioned, I wanted to show my friend that I could attract a guy based on my personality alone. Well, not ten minutes into our night, I immediately got hit on and the first thing the guy said was, "You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen!". At that point my friend had to turn her head, so as not to start laughing her butt off in front of us. I knew I was doomed, but I let the guy buy me a drink anyway. We chatted for a couple of minutes, but I think he saw that I wasn't interested and decided to leave.
The other 3 guys were fairly good-looking (even though one of them had a mullet!). Anyway, I guess it IS harder to attract someone based on your personality than I had initially thought.
The thing that sucks is that now I owe my friend lunch 5 weeks in a row
I'm confused here. What exactly were your expectations? What kind of guy would approach a woman he finds unattractive ( especially at a bar ) while hoping she possesses a "stellar" personality?
I'm confused here. What exactly were your expectations? What kind of guy would approach a woman he finds unattractive ( especially at a bar ) while hoping she possesses a "stellar" personality?
That's what those "personality" people can never explain! And how can they?!
Many divorces are also grounded on wives saying "he was such a gentleman in the beginning, he would always help with the dishes, take the garbage out, he would buy me flowers, he was sweet" or husbands saying "she was so agreeable in the beginning, she would take care of me, make me food, and our sex life was dynamic!"
I'm not disproving your first point, I think looks do fade.
But personalities, chemistry, compatibility and lifestyles change just as fast and just as much.
I'm certainly not suggesting that looks are the only thing that fade. But a lot of your personality is pretty much there for life. If people seem to change over time, what's more likely is that you're just seeing the real person. At the beginning of a relationship and even at the start of a marriage, people are showing the best version of themselves. But once they get settled in and begin to take the other person for granted, it's easy to stop doing the hard work they did earlier. So little things like buying your wife for flowers just cause you felt like it start to feel unnecessary.
I'm certainly not suggesting that looks are the only thing that fade. But a lot of your personality is pretty much there for life. If people seem to change over time, what's more likely is that you're just seeing the real person. At the beginning of a relationship and even at the start of a marriage, people are showing the best version of themselves. But once they get settled in and begin to take the other person for granted, it's easy to stop doing the hard work they did earlier. So little things like buying your wife for flowers just cause you felt like it start to feel unnecessary.
I totally agree. DennyCrane said it better than I did.
Well, my friend and I ended up carrying out our bet this weekend. Unfortunately, it did not bode well for me. I got approached a total of 4 times and, despite the fact that I didn't wear anything that would be deemed as 'sexy', I STILL got told (by all 4 guys) how pretty I was and how great I looked in the glasses that I was wearing.
As I mentioned, I wanted to show my friend that I could attract a guy based on my personality alone. Well, not ten minutes into our night, I immediately got hit on and the first thing the guy said was, "You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen!". At that point my friend had to turn her head, so as not to start laughing her butt off in front of us. I knew I was doomed, but I let the guy buy me a drink anyway. We chatted for a couple of minutes, but I think he saw that I wasn't interested and decided to leave.
The other 3 guys were fairly good-looking (even though one of them had a mullet!). Anyway, I guess it IS harder to attract someone based on your personality than I had initially thought.
The thing that sucks is that now I owe my friend lunch 5 weeks in a row
how is someone supposed to "approach" you based on your personality? A guy sees two women out cruising and he approaches you without even talking to you. He was trying to get laid, period. Plus he probably had a sixpack in him already. he must have.
how is someone supposed to "approach" you based on your personality? A guy sees two women out cruising and he approaches you without even talking to you. He was trying to get laid, period. Plus he probably had a sixpack in him already. he must have.
I agree. This seems like a rather pointless experiment. Never mind that it was done in a bar, which is a place where people to look for sex and little else. So even if you have a wonderful personality, they're probably not going to care. But in general, when you see someone you don't know, all you have to go on is their looks. I can see someone on the other side of the room and infer certain things about them based on how they dress, their body language, etc. But I can't tell if they're funny, intelligent, kind-hearted, etc.
I bet nobody personally knows an example of a working class guy with below average looks, that has an attractive girlfriend or wife.
I do. A good buddy of mine has a brother who is a very unfortunate looking person. He is marginally employed, working here and there as a roofer or mechanic. A solid portion of his income comes from trying to game the tax code -- EITC, FTHB tax credit, etc. He did some time in prison, and his friends generally do not even qualify as "working" class -- more like people that you really do not want to cross.
His wife is a smoking hot blonde stripper, in perfect shape after having 3 kids. They are living happily ever after, in a doublewide trailer that actually looks to be 2 smaller mobile homes that someone welded together.
So why would an attractive woman with options (crazy or not), want to live with an ugly, underemployed guy in a trailer? One reason is that this guy has tremendous confidence, no fear or reverence of anything, and is very intelligent with a witty personality.
Last edited by le roi; 05-18-2011 at 08:19 AM..
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