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okay i have a dilemma, I made out with my best friend's ex-girlfriend and I had to tell him so I did the very next morning. it was a one time thing and they have been broken up for a couple months. I apologized, and everything told him I was incredibly sorry it would never happen again and I didn't know he still had feelings for her.
But now he's talking **** about me behind my back to our best friends, and other friends. As well as risking our friendship, we've been best friends for about 6-8 years and he basically told that he was going to find a new best friend...is he
overreacting? I know I'm in the wrong and I promised it wouldn't happen again but putting our friendship in jeopardy seems a little harsh? I would never do that with him, no matter what happened. help please?
okay i have a dilemma, I made out with my best friend's ex-girlfriend and I had to tell him so I did the very next morning. it was a one time thing and they have been broken up for a couple months. I apologized, and everything told him I was incredibly sorry it would never happen again and I didn't know he still had feelings for her.
But now he's talking **** about me behind my back to our best friends, and other friends. As well as risking our friendship, we've been best friends for about 6-8 years and he basically told that he was going to find a new best friend...is he
overreacting? I know I'm in the wrong and I promised it wouldn't happen again but putting our friendship in jeopardy seems a little harsh? I would never do that with him, no matter what happened. help please?
This isn't an area where there are necessarily absolutes. Feelings are what they are, even if they seem "wrong" to one person. Technically, once they were broken up, this girl was a free agent. She didn't belong to your friend. She could make out with anyone she wanted to, including you.
However, then you enter into the sticky area of hurt feelings. Even if she was no longer his girlfriend, clearly your friend still had feelings for her. You behaved pretty callously in making out with her. I mean, how many girls are there in the world? You had to choose the one girl he used to date and had just broken up with? Did you not stop to consider how that might hurt his feelings? If you wanted to date her, could you not have waited and asked him about it first?
So in the same way you can say he should put your friendship first and not throw it away over this incident, I can turn the tables around on you and suggest that you should have put your friendship first and never made out with her in the first place--potentially causing harm to the friendship. You put your horniness over his friendship. It could be that you're not such a good friend after all--maybe he's not that upset about the idea of losing your friendship.
This isn't an area where there are necessarily absolutes. Feelings are what they are, even if they seem "wrong" to one person. Technically, once they were broken up, this girl was a free agent. She didn't belong to your friend. She could make out with anyone she wanted to, including you.
However, then you enter into the sticky area of hurt feelings. Even if she was no longer his girlfriend, clearly your friend still had feelings for her. You behaved pretty callously in making out with her. I mean, how many girls are there in the world? You had to choose the one girl he used to date and had just broken up with? Did you not stop to consider how that might hurt his feelings? If you wanted to date her, could you not have waited and asked him about it first?
So in the same way you can say he should put your friendship first and not throw it away over this incident, I can turn the tables around on you and suggest that you should have put your friendship first and never made out with her in the first place--potentially causing harm to the friendship. You put your horniness over his friendship. It could be that you're not such a good friend after all--maybe he's not that upset about the idea of losing your friendship.
^^^This. Maybe you should put a little more thought into it before you jumped into this complicated situation.
i was absolutely wasted, it's not an excuse but that's how it happened. I would never have done it with a sober mind
Tough call. Only one solution left. Find him a hotter, better new girlfriend. This will save your friendship. Unless she cheats on him or you kiss her too. Then you're up the creek without a paddle.
I was thinking the same thing. Discretion is the better part of valor... Sounds like the OP put the friendship at risk. Some lines u just don't cross if u r friends. If one of my good friends kissed my man even if were broken up, we could no longer be friends, but that is just how we roll... No body messes with nobody else's man past or present.
Now in the case of the OP it sounds like the friend is angry and feels betrayed. It will take time to get over it. If the OP is humble maybe the friendship can survive, but he should be prepared for the friendship to never be the same again too. Trust is a hard thing to rebuild... Good luck to the OP
You think putting your friendship in jeopardy is a little harsh?..that's exactly what you did when you slept with his recent ex. You've already apologized and expressed remorse...there's not much else you can do.Be a little more thoughtful of your best friends feelings next time....he'll probably come around, I can't understand why he would want to loose a friend over his feelings for someone he no longer sees.
You are not much of a best friend. If you were really a friend, you wouldn't have let this happen. Drunk is just an excuse that is used too often, you still need to be responsible for your actions. You think your friend is risking your friendship? You probably ruined a friendship, and what, over a 5 to 10 minute piece of a$$. I need to repeat my first sentence and put an exclamation mark at the end of it.
You are not much of a best friend. If you were really a friend, you wouldn't have let this happen. Drunk is just an excuse that is used too often, you still need to be responsible for your actions. You think your friend is risking your friendship? You probably ruined a friendship, and what, over a 5 to 10 minute piece of a$$. I need to repeat my first sentence and put an exclamation mark at the end of it.
I agree. You will get no sympathy here.
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This will save your friendship. Unless she cheats on him or you kiss her too. Then you're up the creek without a paddle.
