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So we all have our list of things we want in a partner.
Looks, intelligence, personality traits, social class, financial situation... whatever they may be for you, and some characteristics are more important than others.
Lets say you meet someone, hit it off... totally enjoy this persons company but he/she doesn't meet any of your requirements... well maybe they meet one or two but definitely not all nor the most important.
Do you dump this person on principles alone or do you enjoy his/her company and see what happens even though...?
They are immediately moved to the friend category if they are willing to accept the demotion. I won't continue dating someone who isn't highly compatible in all the important areas, but they may have the potential to be a great friend.
So we all have our list of things we want in a partner.
Looks, intelligence, personality traits, social class, financial situation... whatever they may be for you, and some characteristics are more important than others.
Lets say you meet someone, hit it off... totally enjoy this persons company but he/she doesn't meet any of your requirements... well maybe they meet one or two but definitely not all nor the most important.
Do you dump this person on principles alone or do you enjoy his/her company and see what happens even though...?
It would depend which 1 or 2 "requirements" they met, and where they "ranked" in the others.
For example, someone who is good-looking and intelligent, but has a nasty personality, no class and no job/outlook would obviously be nothing more than a pleasant first date.
Someone who has a great personality, a great job and future, decent looking, and some class would be much more appealing to me.
They are immediately moved to the friend category if they are willing to accept the demotion. I won't continue dating someone who isn't highly compatible in all the important areas, but they may have the potential to be a great friend.
Well said!! This is exactly how I feel. They would instantly be moved to the friend category. However, if she has a great a$$ I'd probably still hit-it but would make it very clear that there will be no relationship. Ive done this many times in my pre-marriage years and its worked out great.
If he is intelligent, isn't a jerk, and I'd like to see him naked, he would have a chance. Social status, money, and things of that nature vacillate throughout life, but stupid and mean make ugly forever.
Last edited by Yzette; 06-10-2011 at 09:10 AM..
Reason: Apparently I need caffeine to avoid typos.
They may be fun to date but are not long term relationship material. I think you do have to agree on important matters or its always going to be stressful.
Well said!! This is exactly how I feel. They would instantly be moved to the friend category. However, if she has a great a$$ I'd probably still hit-it but would make it very clear that there will be no relationship. Ive done this many times in my pre-marriage years and its worked out great.
That's a good point - the friend category CAN include friend with benefits, but I'd also make that distinction clear to them so that they can choose.
Principles? I would think dumping someone based on principles would be based on negative actions or just someone incompatible with the way you want to live. Dumping someone based on looks, social class, etc. is just superficiality. Dumping someone because they are cruel or criminal despite their good looks or heavy wallet would be dumping based on principle.
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