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Within the last 5 dates, has he done anything to try to kick up your attraction level towards him? Has there been any romantic and/or sexual progression, or are you still ending dates with a handshake and a peck?
We're just awkwardly pecking right now. There's been no flirting or sexual innuendo, so there's really no sexual tension right now. I feel like he's a slow mover, and so am I, but I'm worried that I should at least have desire for a bit more intimacy at this point, and I don't. Still, in the past when I did feel desire for someone, things still didn't necessarily work out, so maybe that's not important. Sure, it's fun, but maybe that's not what I should be focusing on right now.
Usually two. The first is a freebie, because I take into account nerves, just an off day, etc. If you don't hit your stride by date two, though, you probably won't.
There have been times where I've been hooked after we first met up, and other times where I've been on nearly a dozen and am still feeling tepid... but... we ultimately ended up dating.
We're just awkwardly pecking right now. There's been no flirting or sexual innuendo, so there's really no sexual tension right now. I feel like he's a slow mover, and so am I, but I'm worried that I should at least have desire for a bit more intimacy at this point, and I don't. Still, in the past when I did feel desire for someone, things still didn't necessarily work out, so maybe that's not important. Sure, it's fun, but maybe that's not what I should be focusing on right now.
You are right, your sexual desires are not a good indicator of long term compatibility.
I have date slow movers before, and men who I didn't really feel much for at first (such as the guy I am currently dating). Looking back on it, I can say that things developed into something when the guy actively sought to kick things up a bit, over time. After five dates, if you haven't yet had a really passionate kiss, I'm not so sure anything more is going to happen.
I think I do actually like this guy, but I think I'm still probably comparing this situation to one that I had in the past where I felt amazing chemistry and I've been searching for that ever since. But it's like, I need to get over that and move on already. I think I'm maybe not letting myself get more intimate with this guy because I'm afraid that our chemistry won't measure up to what I felt before with someone else. But I think on our next date we probably do need to attempt to start moving in that direction because I really don't want to waste his time or mine.
Usually two. The first is a freebie, because I take into account nerves, just an off day, etc. If you don't hit your stride by date two, though, you probably won't.
Yeah, thats what I think too. Surely by the 2nd date you will know if your interested or not.
I think I do actually like this guy, but I think I'm still probably comparing this situation to one that I had in the past where I felt amazing chemistry and I've been searching for that ever since. But it's like, I need to get over that and move on already. I think I'm maybe not letting myself get more intimate with this guy because I'm afraid that our chemistry won't measure up to what I felt before with someone else. But I think on our next date we probably do need to attempt to start moving in that direction because I really don't want to waste his time or mine.
I think it is time to move things in that direction and find out once and for all. "Chemistry" is a poor indicator of relationship potential, you are right to keep it in mind. (Personally, I think that chemistry is just lust, but that's another topic.) Since you say you do like him, it is time to kick things up a bit and find out what happens.
I think it is time to move things in that direction and find out once and for all. "Chemistry" is a poor indicator of relationship potential, you are right to keep it in mind. (Personally, I think that chemistry is just lust, but that's another topic.) Since you say you do like him, it is time to kick things up a bit and find out what happens.
I define chemistry as just a feeling of things seeming effortless and not awkward and just kind of falling into place. Lust can be a part of it and the lusty/infatuation feeling is something that I really do like to have for someone because that makes everything more exciting for me, and I just can't really fake that kind of feeling. But yes, I think I'm willing to try a more intimate kiss to see if that awakens any "feelings" within me. So far, we haven't really been in the right setting for that to happen and I was hoping to wait until the moment felt right instead of forcing it just because we've been on several dates now. So if the moment doesn't feel right on our next date, it still might not happen, but I think we're going to be in a setting that's more conducive to that, so we'll see.
Just wondering, how many dates do you all usually go on before you decide that you aren't interested in someone and decide to stop seeing them? I'm sure it varies, but I'd like to get an idea. Right now, I'm approaching Date 6 with someone who I can't entirely see myself becoming romantically involved with, but I feel like it's too early to throw in the towel because he seems like a good guy. Also, I have paid on several dates, so it's not a situation where I'm using him for free entertainment. Still, I don't want to drag it on for too long or lead him on if I know that it probably isn't going anywhere. So how long of a time do you think is reasonable to wait for romance to blossom if the other person doesn't seem to have any major dealbreakers?
I don't see how anyone can honestly pick a number for every situation. Sometimes it's 6 or 7, or more....and sometimes it's before the first one is over.
6 dates and you don't like him? Wow, I think not only have you wasted both his and your time, now you've given him the impression that you like him and he could be developing feelings for you. Break it off now if you know there is no feelings there. You should have a gut feeling the first or second time you go out with them on whether you see yourself with this person or not.
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