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Upbringing and past experiences are a factor, but they aren't the only ones. A person can have a very stable upbringing, but could just have a nasty personality. Personalties are formed more on interactions with people(or lack thereof) than they are with certain past experiences imo. Someone "soft", interacting with the wrong crowd, could easily become "rough" around the edges.
But isn't a soft personality also often due to insecurity- as in not wanting to rock the boat for fear of being challenged? Is there a relationship between compassion and insecurity?
But isn't a soft personality also often due to insecurity- as in not wanting to rock the boat for fear of being challenged? Is there a relationship between compassion and insecurity?
Yes. People who are insecure tend to lack compassion. It is the hard-edged type who speaks to me the loudest about having a lack of confidence.
testosterone, as well as brain chemistry in general, probably plays a role. so does society and culture... not everyone grows up in the same circumstances, where social expectations are the same.
plus this:
Quote:
Originally Posted by K-Luv
Eh, I've always thought of "soft" people as those who are easily hurt or wounded emotionally. I don't think it has anything to do with how they treat others, or their manner of speaking. And, many hard-edged people as you describe are only hard on the outside. Mentally, they can be fragile.
A "hard" person to me is someone who has mental strength to withstand extreme conditions without breaking down.
With one difference of opinion--a strong person can withstand extreme conditions w/o breaking down. Sometimes a hard person is brittle.
I'm your basic softie--cry easily, worry about what people think of me, all of it. Clinically I have too much estrogen in my body, which is probably why I'm like this. However I can be very strong in a crisis and folks at work were amazed at how well I weathered the knifing I received at school one day. My former SIL is a hard edged person but she falls apart at tough times and is often anxious, though she has a nice rather uneventful life.
But isn't a soft personality also often due to insecurity- as in not wanting to rock the boat for fear of being challenged? Is there a relationship between compassion and insecurity?
Being soft spoken or outspoken is not directly correlated with how confident a person is. Actions are ultimately what's important.
Being soft spoken or outspoken is not directly correlated with how confident a person is. Actions are ultimately what's important.
Heard this quote once and it's made me think ever since: “No one is a coward at all points.” C.S. Lewis, Surprised by Joy
Mainly what I think is that no one is anything at all points. No one is brave at all points. No one is weak at all points. No one is strong at all points.
Also, I am more drawn to people who have a quiet confidence--an air of authority that doesn't need to bully to get their point across.
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