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Hello. I recently moved to a new city for a job, I'm 24 and just out of college. I don't know anyone in this city and it really sucks not having people to hang out with. Anyways there is a very cute girl at work... she was the first to initiate contact and even asked me my name before I asked for hers. I run into her in the hallway a few times a week and we exchange a few friendly words before moving along to what we were doing. I have went out of my way to go see her in her area a couple times and I think she has done the same to me a time or two. I would like to ask her on a date but I have a few concerns...
1) I don't know if she is just a very friendly girl or if she is interested in me... shes kind of hard to read but always happy. Whats the best way to find out if she is dating someone already? I don't want to ask to find out she is dating already and make it awkward.
2) I have heard dating in the workplace is not a good idea... And I understand why for the most part. However my situation is a little different, don't know if makes it better or worse. Anyways I am an engineer at this place and she is one of the workers on the line. So there is an obvious disparity with our positions at this company... And I only mention that because I am unsure of its significance for this type of situation. Its a couple hundred (at most) people at this place, everyone knows everyone and its a very gossipy environment. I just do my job keep my mouth shut and avoid being talked about... but I am frequently teased about my age.
I feel like I am making this complicated but I like to make sure I dont screw things up. I am just looking for some companionship/friendship in this place that I don't know anyone. There are lots of of people at this company my age and they have friend circles and have fun and joke around and I would like to get to know them and be friends but my position requires me to maintain a professional demeanor... I hate it! I just want to make friends with people my age...
Don't start with the analizing....the what ifs.....the do you thinks....If you think she's a nice girl just ask her out for lunch, or a coffee.....Since you're new on the jobsite, it might take some time for the other workers to include you in their regular camaraderie.
1) I don't know if she is just a very friendly girl or if she is interested in me... shes kind of hard to read but always happy. Whats the best way to find out if she is dating someone already? I don't want to ask to find out she is dating already and make it awkward.
A simple "Are you seeing anyone?" would do the job with minimal fuss, I would think.
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2) I have heard dating in the workplace is not a good idea... And I understand why for the most part. However my situation is a little different, don't know if makes it better or worse. Anyways I am an engineer at this place and she is one of the workers on the line. So there is an obvious disparity with our positions at this company... And I only mention that because I am unsure of its significance for this type of situation. Its a couple hundred (at most) people at this place, everyone knows everyone and its a very gossipy environment. I just do my job keep my mouth shut and avoid being talked about... but I am frequently teased about my age.
Back "in the day" I met my wife-to-be at a pigment-production plant. I was a chemist and she was an admin. assist. Two very different positions and levels, but we hooked up and despite what others may (or may not have) thought we did fine.
I think you're doing the right thing staying under the radar, but as long as there are no rules against workplace relationships I say go for it.
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I feel like I am making this complicated but I like to make sure I dont screw things up. I am just looking for some companionship/friendship in this place that I don't know anyone. There are lots of of people at this company my age and they have friend circles and have fun and joke around and I would like to get to know them and be friends but my position requires me to maintain a professional demeanor... I hate it! I just want to make friends with people my age...
Can you hook up with them outside of work? Sometimes that's the ice-breaker ...
Office dating, discussed numerous times on this forum, is not only difficult but frowned upon for many reasons. Read one of the older posts.
How does everyone know everyone at an office of a couple hundred people??
Sounds like she's just a normal, friendly co-worker... if you are looking for companionship/friendship like you say, then why seek a relationship with this girl?
Hello. I recently moved to a new city for a job, I'm 24 and just out of college. I don't know anyone in this city and it really sucks not having people to hang out with. Anyways there is a very cute girl at work... she was the first to initiate contact and even asked me my name before I asked for hers. I run into her in the hallway a few times a week and we exchange a few friendly words before moving along to what we were doing. I have went out of my way to go see her in her area a couple times and I think she has done the same to me a time or two. I would like to ask her on a date but I have a few concerns...
1) I don't know if she is just a very friendly girl or if she is interested in me... shes kind of hard to read but always happy. Whats the best way to find out if she is dating someone already? I don't want to ask to find out she is dating already and make it awkward.
2) I have heard dating in the workplace is not a good idea... And I understand why for the most part. However my situation is a little different, don't know if makes it better or worse. Anyways I am an engineer at this place and she is one of the workers on the line. So there is an obvious disparity with our positions at this company... And I only mention that because I am unsure of its significance for this type of situation. Its a couple hundred (at most) people at this place, everyone knows everyone and its a very gossipy environment. I just do my job keep my mouth shut and avoid being talked about... but I am frequently teased about my age.
I feel like I am making this complicated but I like to make sure I dont screw things up. I am just looking for some companionship/friendship in this place that I don't know anyone. There are lots of of people at this company my age and they have friend circles and have fun and joke around and I would like to get to know them and be friends but my position requires me to maintain a professional demeanor... I hate it! I just want to make friends with people my age...
Dating in the workplace is a sticky thing. On the one hand, yes, many people do meet a spouse at the place they work. I won't deny that it happens. However, plenty of people also get themselves into a huge pickle and may potentially jeopardize their job or risk sexual harassment charges. Considering the state of the economy, you need to think about this one carefully.
In scenarios where you have known a person for some time, you have a genuine rapport, there is obvious attraction, you want something serious (leading to marriage) and you could keep it under wraps, then the potential reward may outweigh the risks. If you aren't ready for marriage in the immediate future and are still just at a dating phase, then that's fine, just don't date at your workplace. If your workplace is very gossipy (which you've said it is), that only makes things harder. You also need to check before you make any moves for your company's specific policy on this. It may be forbidden and the fact that you outrank her may matter.
As general advice, when moving to a new city, it takes time to settle in. DO try to be friends with these people your age. DO try to get out there and meet people outside the workplace. Find activities you enjoy and groups in the area that do them.
I would, however, ask if she would like to go to lunch. Since you are new to the job, area and all it is a shoe in the door to ask her about the town. Anything more than that is up to her.
a easy way to find out if a girl is taken is comment on a jewelry item. For example a girl is wearing a ring, you say in a casual tone "Hey thats a cool ring, did your boyfriend give it to you?" her response will let you know if she has a boyfriend. If she says she doesn't, be surprised and say something like "wow, didnt expect a pretty girl like you to be single =)"
Workplace romances can get very sticky. I wouldn't recommend it if you want to stay with the company. I got a little involved once when I was a consultant for a small company and only planned to be there for a few months. It didn't go far, but it was still a bit messy. I'd never let it happen again and shouldn't have then.
You could still make friends with her and be friendly with her on the job. Maybe she has hot friends? In the end, do whats best for yourself, you don't need people telling you what to do and what might go wrong. The worry warts are the people who never get what they want because they are too busy hesitating.
No one who works for me can date a coworker and keep thier job. One of you has to go. You decide. Sometimes there just isnt a broom and dustpan BIG ENOUGH to clean up the mess left behind after an office romance goes south!
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