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To give and receive love, you have to let yourself be vulnerable, mir. Yes, it can be extremely painful when it goes wrong, but when it goes right, it's well worth the risk. Take your time, though, to be sure he's the real thing - if it is, you don't need to rush, just be open to the possibilities.
Fear is born of control. You can't completely control the course or outcome of this relationship, and you're scared of being hurt. It's normal, especially if you've been hurt in the past. There's really no magic words or secret to this. You just have to tread carefully and give it a chance, or it's not going to move forward.
I know I can't control the outcome and there's a huge chance it won't work out, like most relationships. He's been hurt before too (cheated on). I'm treading very carefully, but I just don't know how and I want to give it a chance too.
taoistdude-I agree about the vulnerability. I'm scared to be vulnerable. He even asked about my ex, and I didn't really want to say much for fear of sounding insane. My friend who I met him through is his roommate. She called me right now and said I sounded funny/sad (I had been crying cause I guess the fear is too much to take right now) and I kept trying to brush her off that I was fine. She told him, while I was on the phone with him, that I sound funny so I'm a little mortified. He probably thinks I'm crazy now.
Lion-ya, I'm terrified he's just gonna walk out now that he got "what he wanted". So far, he hasn't shown me that he's like that, but most men are, so who knows. But ya, I agree that the good times make everything worth it.
And ask yourself right now WHY you haven't already done that.
WHY are you sabbatoging yourself?
A mistake is doubly worse when you don't learn from it
well, before, when I put out too soon, I didn't have feelings for the guy. this is the first time I actually have feelings and spent a lot of time with the person as well, in such a short amount of time. So I guess I've never made the mistake of putting out too soon with a guy I liked before.
Lion-ya, I'm terrified he's just gonna walk out now that he got "what he wanted". So far, he hasn't shown me that he's like that, but most men are, so who knows. But ya, I agree that the good times make everything worth it.
"what he wanted".
Ya know.There have been a couple times , errrrr or maybe 3 or 4 where after I had sex with her I moved on. But it wasn't in my mind from the get go that that was my intention. If that happened, is was because something was lacking, either the sex or something else that was lacking or she changed after. One in particular, after sex the first time she started talking about having a family and the main reason to have sex.
I don't think most guys want to just toss away something good when they find it. If they bail, it was for a reason and not just because they got to "hit it". Some young hot 20yr old guy with girls lining up for him? Maybe but most guys no. Guys have emotions and needs beyond sex also ya know......
well, before, when I put out too soon, I didn't have feelings for the guy. this is the first time I actually have feelings and spent a lot of time with the person as well, in such a short amount of time. So I guess I've never made the mistake of putting out too soon with a guy I liked before.
You're 25 years old. You had sex with a guy you knew for 2 days. I'm guessing this happens oh, roughly...ALL THE TIME. Should you have waited until you knew more? Of course. Everyone knows the answer to that question. But obviously, lots of people cave. Some regret it, some don't. I had sex with a guy after our first date...many years ago, and I married him many years later. Should I have waited? If I had...would I have my son today?
There are no guarantees in life or in relationships. You may have many tomorrows in front of you, or you may have 5. So you have to take it as it comes, and do the best that you can. If you know you made a mistake, then you try to learn from it, and not repeat it. Use your gut. Pay attention. And for gosh sakes, stop living in fear. Being afraid of getting hurt is just silly. You ARE going to get hurt...at some point, by somebody...or some thing, and more than once! Surely you don't want to dig a hole and climb in, do ya?? LIVE. LOVE. And CRY if you need to. But for gosh sakes...get out there and enjoy life. You only get one!
Ya know.There have been a couple times , errrrr or maybe 3 or 4 where after I had sex with her I moved on. But it wasn't in my mind from the get go that that was my intention. If that happened, is was because something was lacking, either the sex or something else that was lacking or she changed after. One in particular, after sex the first time she started talking about having a family and the main reason to have sex.
I don't think most guys want to just toss away something good when they find it. If they bail, it was for a reason and not just because they got to "hit it". Some young hot 20yr old guy with girls lining up for him? Maybe but most guys no. Guys have emotions and needs beyond sex also ya know......
you have a good point. I don't know if he thinks I'm something worth keeping around yet. We're both in our 20's and he's very attractive, could probably get any girl he wants so who knows. Then again, he chose to spend all weekend with me and not some other girl he could have had.
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Should you have waited until you knew more? Of course. Everyone knows the answer to that question. But obviously, lots of people cave. Some regret it, some don't. I had sex with a guy after our first date...many years ago, and I married him many years later. Should I have waited? If I had...would I have my son today? 
