Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Can't agree. How young are ya? Because it sounds like you don't know what love is. Yea, that's why she started this thread to find out.
Romantic love is NOT love at all. It is merely attraction. Unlike you I don't believe in love at first sight. First two sentences, gotta agree on that
Love involves sacrifice, compromise, friendship and a yearning to take care of the other person as long as you are together. "Attraction" does not have a role in this.
Dead on! If there is no commitment, to support that emotion, than it's nothing.
My response in bold. I've never seen those combo words ("romantic love") in a long time. I believe that love is more than a strong emotion but mainly the action. It's just that..the word gets thrown around so much!
[quote=Beilua Rose;19732499]So how long does "love" last? Does it wither away when your wife starts getting wrinkles and a saggy bum. Or is it when your husband starts to bald and gains some flubber in his mid-section? Maybe it's when you find someone more attractive and younger, who may conveniently offer you more.
Beilua Rose....as I lay next to, and studied the face of my SO last night ...I realized that I still see what I saw 36 years ago.....it's weird ....but true..When you love someone you don't really notice the wrinkles ,the gray hair...or that the flesh is not quite as firm.....but you DO feel a great sense of satisfaction and pleasure at being with someone that you know so well, and can trust.......and when you have that special someone with you...there's no WAY you would even think to throw it all away for something/one different.
So how long does "love" last? Does it wither away when your wife starts getting wrinkles and a saggy bum. Or is it when your husband starts to bald and gains some flubber in his mid-section? Maybe it's when you find someone more attractive and younger, who may conveniently offer you more.
Beilua Rose....as I lay next to, and studied the face of my SO last night ...I realized that I still see what I saw 36 years ago.....it's weird ....but true..When you love someone you don't really notice the wrinkles ,the gray hair...or that the flesh is not quite as firm.....but you DO feel a great sense of satisfaction and pleasure at being with someone that you know so well, and can trust.......and when you have that special someone with you...there's no WAY you would even think to throw it all away for something/one different.
Now, now, don't go bursting our OP's delusional bubble - it's so much easier for her to think WE are the one's with the problem
Youe are neither of what you stated you have been called but what you stated you are is very true...you are a realist and this is a very vaild question..
However there is no clear concise answer since we are all INDIVIDUALS and despite popular belief you can be alot like someone but still totally different in your ideas, notions, beliefs...
As far as romantic love? I think there is a depiction of what romantic love is however all we do is see it at a glance, on tv, movies, literature ( Romeo and Juliet comes to mind) The Idyllic way we all envision "true" love and if nothing of the sort resembles our "Real life" relationships we feel we are lacking something and begin to feel cheated and therefore seek it without being conscience of it...
Romantic love is an individual perception...-side note- this is not to be mistaken with lust or the whirlwind we feel when we first meet someone and so call fall in love...
As a realist I can admit that I love the thrill, the butterflies, the excitement of a new relationship, the long talks, the all night convos however after a certain time passes and a true bond is formed both parties tend to relax because they are progressing into a long term relationship based on more than acts, words and the newness of it all....
This is when in reality the work comes in...My mother stated, falling in love is sometimes unavoidable but keeping that love is a decision...
THATS when the work starts...open dialogue, common ground, understanding that it will not always be easy and the realization every couple faces at one point, "Do I really need to be here, do I really love them?" Then a decision is made may not be the best one but either way a decision is made.
My parents have been married for 41 years and it has not alwaysbeen easy, they have faced their share of trials and tribulations..They have changed physically, my mom has put on about 10 lbs and looks older my father is balding and has gained alot of weight however they have never cheated on one another out of respect and again the decision that they started something great and they are going to see it to an end...a decision...
In regards to LONG DISTANCE relationships? This is hard to begin with...It takes two individuals who have common ground and have made the DECISION to stick it out with a working goal of eventually coming together and living together...
It means utilizing and mode of communication available in order to maintain a connection...It means both parties being able to deal with real life in that seeing each other may look like every other weekend, or once a month or in some cases 2x a year, understanding that this is a temp. situation and a goal is being worked towards...if both parties are not on the same page it will never work because one individual may be investing and expending themselves while the other has a different agenda,..
This is why before entering into a LDR things should be talked about, expectations and ect...
It cannot work in some cases, I.E.
You will have one individual whom is fairly independant, has their own life, group of friends, family, activities, hobbies and so forth, for them a LDR is not that complicated, speaking once a day is fine and texting is great...
Then there is the other individual whom has almost the same outlool, similiar background and so forth however they have a different view of what a relationship should look like and they are at times "needy" their expectations differ greatly than those of their partner...
Hope this helps?
Thank you for the well thought out response. I appreciate it and will consider your statements later on.
I can actually see where youre coming from. Many people will probably say "you just haven't found them yet. It'll happen." That's not always the case. Sometimes people never find "the one for them" and they're okay with that.
True ^. I never found mine, and I'm good. It would be nice to have a SO with whom I could grow old, but I am happy with my life and the choices I've made. Better no partner than the wrong partner.
OP, true romantic love does still exist. I know several couples who've been married for a very long time and who are as much in love now as when they first met. One example is my brother and his wife. They have been married 41.5 years and still act like smitten teenagers. They have NOT had an easy life - serious illnesses; raised kids; serious financial difficulties; etc. - yet, each trial made their relationship stronger as they faced it together. I love being around them because it reminds me that romantic love does exist. I get a vicarious charge each time I hang out with them!
True ^. I never found mine, and I'm good. It would be nice to have a SO with whom I could grow old, but I am happy with my life and the choices I've made. Better no partner than the wrong partner.
OP, true romantic love does still exist. I know several couples who've been married for a very long time and who are as much in love now as when they first met. One example is my brother and his wife. They have been married 41.5 years and still act like smitten teenagers. They have NOT had an easy life - serious illnesses; raised kids; serious financial difficulties; etc. - yet, each trial made their relationship stronger as they faced it together. I love being around them because it reminds me that romantic love does exist. I get a vicarious charge each time I hang out with them!
You had your chance to have a wonderful man but NOOOOOOO! You had to be an uppity 4th grader and not give this lowly 2nd grader even a passing glance!
I've never had it but I believe in it and believe me it's a lot of work to protect my ideals, but I will defend them to my last breath. Realism is too harsh and life isn't all there is.
I've never had it but I believe in it and believe me it's a lot of work to protect my ideals, but I will defend them to my last breath. Realism is too harsh and life isn't all there is.
Of course! People have never seen God and yet so many believe in him! At least we've seen a few good relationships here and there...
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I've never seen those combo words ("romantic love") in a long time
. I believe that love is more than a strong emotion but mainly the action. It's just that..the word gets thrown around so much!
