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Yes, that's where I say it becomes more convenient. That's why many choose to stay with eachother, out of a habitual connection and convenience.
This is tripe! Habitual connection and convenience? How about shared years, hardships,good times? How about the wonderful feelings you share when you see the children you two brought into the world now raising thier own kids? How about watching your wife go from a beautiful blonde to a graceful gray? How about looking at your spouse of many years and thinking "i cant believe she/he put up with me all these years!" How about that feeling you two share when, after years of hard work and sacrifice,you finally burn that mortgage together? OH! Thats right! I keep forgetting. Sacrifice and hard work is rare these days. How very sad.
I believe in romantic love, wholeheartedly and unashamedly Shared with the *right person*, love can in fact, do all things. I have no doubts at all that if I were ever married at some point in the future, that I could make that love last for an entire lifetime. And I am certainly willing to put forth the effort needed, for making that happen.
Where do you think all of the historical love ballads / hit love songs of the past came from? They have historical inspiration and precedent, going back to the very dawn of humanity's birth
Love (romantic and non-romantic both) is a basic, fundamental, universal human need. It's rooted in our very natures. Everyone inherently loves, and needs to be loved.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beilua Rose
So how long does "love" last? Does it wither away when your wife starts getting wrinkles and a saggy bum. Or is it when your husband starts to bald and gains some flubber in his mid-section? Maybe it's when you find someone more attractive and younger, who may conveniently offer you more.
How can love disappear when long distance relationships do not work out? Isn't love powerful enough to overcome all of those obstacles?
Why do we have to "work" on love when in a long-term relationship? Is it because romantic love becomes non-existant and there needs to be ways to form a union w/o romantic love? Is it because it would be more convenient to just stay in a relationship than to meet someone else and go over the whole process of learning who they are and who they think you are again?
Sure, the divorce rates are "declining", although do they mention anything about the infidelity rates? I doubt those are lowering, or even stabilizing.
You can call me cynical and even pessimistic. Although I'd like to think of myself as a realist.
Romantic love is a synonym for delusion. Romantic love is convenient in times of grief, happiness, curiosity and frustration. Emotions never last for long periods of time. And neither does love.
So how long does "love" last? Does it wither away when your wife starts getting wrinkles and a saggy bum. Or is it when your husband starts to bald and gains some flubber in his mid-section? Maybe it's when you find someone more attractive and younger, who may conveniently offer you more.
How can love disappear when long distance relationships do not work out? Isn't love powerful enough to overcome all of those obstacles?
Why do we have to "work" on love when in a long-term relationship? Is it because romantic love becomes non-existant and there needs to be ways to form a union w/o romantic love? Is it because it would be more convenient to just stay in a relationship than to meet someone else and go over the whole process of learning who they are and who they think you are again?
Sure, the divorce rates are "declining", although do they mention anything about the infidelity rates? I doubt those are lowering, or even stabilizing.
You can call me cynical and even pessimistic. Although I'd like to think of myself as a realist.
Romantic love is a synonym for delusion. Romantic love is convenient in times of grief, happiness, curiosity and frustration. Emotions never last for long periods of time. And neither does love.
Disagree with me? Let me hear your side.
Then I guess I've just been delusional for decades
To answer your question seriously, scientists have been studying "love", and it's pretty agreed that the actual chemical process of falling in love lasts for somewhere between 18-24 months on average.
After that, it doesn't come "naturally" to us, and yes, of course we have to work at it, but it doesn't mean love doesn't exist, it is just a different type of love.
Think of the love for a sibling, it's slightly different from romantic love, but if our sibling moves away for a while, do we stop loving them ?
Do we "get over them" ?
No, of course we don't.
So why should we with a partner ?
Love lasts as long as we want it to.
Nothing grows without nurturing.
So how long does "love" last? Does it wither away when your wife starts getting wrinkles and a saggy bum. Or is it when your husband starts to bald and gains some flubber in his mid-section? Maybe it's when you find someone more attractive and younger, who may conveniently offer you more. If your love is worth anything then wrinkles and baldness won't have an effect on things you cannot control. You'll eventually get too old to find someone 'younger and more attractive', unless you're a rich tycoon or heiress (and then it isn't YOU that's being loved).
How can love disappear when long distance relationships do not work out? Isn't love powerful enough to overcome all of those obstacles? Out of sight, out of mind. I don't agree that absence makes the heart grow fonder. You can't work through growth living apart.
Why do we have to "work" on love when in a long-term relationship? Is it because romantic love becomes non-existant and there needs to be ways to form a union w/o romantic love? Is it because it would be more convenient to just stay in a relationship than to meet someone else and go over the whole process of learning who they are and who they think you are again? Courtship and early stages of relationships are the EASY parts because attraction is still the dominating factor. Looks by themselves are boring as hell and cannot secure a last relationship by themselves. If things fall apart down the road then you didn't have anything else going all along.
Sure, the divorce rates are "declining", although do they mention anything about the infidelity rates? I doubt those are lowering, or even stabilizing.
You can call me cynical and even pessimistic. Although I'd like to think of myself as a realist.
Romantic love is a synonym for delusion. Romantic love is convenient in times of grief, happiness, curiosity and frustration. Emotions never last for long periods of time. And neither does love.
Disagree with me? Let me hear your side.
Can't agree. How young are ya? Because it sounds like you don't know what love is.
Romantic love is NOT love at all. It is merely attraction. Unlike you I don't believe in love at first sight.
Love involves sacrifice, compromise, friendshipk and a yearning to take care of the other person as long as you are together. "Attraction" does not have a role in this.
Youe are neither of what you stated you have been called but what you stated you are is very true...you are a realist and this is a very vaild question..
However there is no clear concise answer since we are all INDIVIDUALS and despite popular belief you can be alot like someone but still totally different in your ideas, notions, beliefs...
As far as romantic love? I think there is a depiction of what romantic love is however all we do is see it at a glance, on tv, movies, literature ( Romeo and Juliet comes to mind) The Idyllic way we all envision "true" love and if nothing of the sort resembles our "Real life" relationships we feel we are lacking something and begin to feel cheated and therefore seek it without being conscience of it...
Romantic love is an individual perception...-side note- this is not to be mistaken with lust or the whirlwind we feel when we first meet someone and so call fall in love...
As a realist I can admit that I love the thrill, the butterflies, the excitement of a new relationship, the long talks, the all night convos however after a certain time passes and a true bond is formed both parties tend to relax because they are progressing into a long term relationship based on more than acts, words and the newness of it all....
This is when in reality the work comes in...My mother stated, falling in love is sometimes unavoidable but keeping that love is a decision...
THATS when the work starts...open dialogue, common ground, understanding that it will not always be easy and the realization every couple faces at one point, "Do I really need to be here, do I really love them?" Then a decision is made may not be the best one but either way a decision is made.
My parents have been married for 41 years and it has not alwaysbeen easy, they have faced their share of trials and tribulations..They have changed physically, my mom has put on about 10 lbs and looks older my father is balding and has gained alot of weight however they have never cheated on one another out of respect and again the decision that they started something great and they are going to see it to an end...a decision...
In regards to LONG DISTANCE relationships? This is hard to begin with...It takes two individuals who have common ground and have made the DECISION to stick it out with a working goal of eventually coming together and living together...
It means utilizing and mode of communication available in order to maintain a connection...It means both parties being able to deal with real life in that seeing each other may look like every other weekend, or once a month or in some cases 2x a year, understanding that this is a temp. situation and a goal is being worked towards...if both parties are not on the same page it will never work because one individual may be investing and expending themselves while the other has a different agenda,..
This is why before entering into a LDR things should be talked about, expectations and ect...
It cannot work in some cases, I.E.
You will have one individual whom is fairly independant, has their own life, group of friends, family, activities, hobbies and so forth, for them a LDR is not that complicated, speaking once a day is fine and texting is great...
Then there is the other individual whom has almost the same outlool, similiar background and so forth however they have a different view of what a relationship should look like and they are at times "needy" their expectations differ greatly than those of their partner...
Why do we have to "work" on love when in a long-term relationship? Is it because romantic love becomes non-existant and there needs to be ways to form a union w/o romantic love? Is it because it would be more convenient to just stay in a relationship than to meet someone else and go over the whole process of learning who they are and who they think you are again?
I think it is because perfection does not exist.
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Shared with the *right person*, love can in fact, do all things. I have no doubts at all that if I were ever married at some point in the future, that I could make that love last for an entire lifetime. And I am certainly willing to put forth the effort needed, for making that happen.
They have historical inspiration and precedent, going back to the very dawn of humanity's birth 
