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One of things that has been affecting me negatively for awhile was that I didn't get anywhere with this girl I liked a lot. When I initially found this girl, I became seriously interested since she was attractive and came from a similar cultural and family background. This probably is the first girl in my life I have put a real effort into pursuing. FYI, I was 25 years old back then and I believe she was 23. Our initial contact seemed to be fine, until it got to part about work and what I do in my free time.
At that time (in spring), I was working full time and was about to complete my 1st year as a home owner. I had planned to climb up the career ladder. I was taking a graduate class in my Executive Master program. Back then I also volunteered for 10+ hours a week at multiple places. For the rest of my 'free' time I went to the gym, surfed the web, and some other misc stuff.
I started to notice things had gone wrong when she asked what was fun about volunteering at retirement homes or at high schools. I gave my statement of why I though helping others out and interacting with them was enjoyable and meaningful. I don't think it went over so well with her and she came to conclusion I worked WAY too much. She didn't want talk to me anymore after that discussion.
Honestly, I could see why she thought I was no fun and worked too much. Since then I have cut back a lot of my work-like activities. I am not taking classes this summer and probably not in fall either. I have completely cut back my volunteering down from 10+ hours a week to 4-5 hours a month only. I even reduced my hours at the gym. I spend more time going to lunch or just hanging out with my new friends. I went back to doing other fun stuff that I stopped. Like I am playing video games again after almost 1-2 years.
After my experience with her, a lot of my hard work seemed meaningless. I always though getting ahead in my career and getting that MS plus a MBA would be a great accomplishment. This is probably the first time in my life where someone asked why bother volunteering.
Reflecting back at this experience, I am thinking about my future plans. Should I take on more responsibilities (longer hours) at work or new job? Should I go back to taking classes to completed my Masters and then my MBA? Of course, should I really even bother to volunteer?
I probably will just focus more on my job or getting a better one. I know I will eventually go back to taking classes, but probably at a very easy pace. As for volunteering, I thinking maybe keeping it at minimum is the best.
I agree with dav nz. Do what you enjoy, if you actually enjoy it. Some goals require work that isn't all enjoyable, but the end justifies temporary sacrifices. Volunteering is a great thing, too, and kudos to you for helping others. When you DO find another girlfriend, you can cut back on the extracurricular activities, unless she is the type to share them. Most relationships do need time and attention, and especially so in the early stages when the bond is fragile. That's the time to focus on the relationship, and then see if you share interest in and desire to participate in more volunteer work, for example.
I'm not clear from your post whether she actually broke up with you? Are you asking if you should cut down your schedule after she broke up with you, or are you asking this to keep her? If she already broke up with you, then you should do whatever you need to do to get ahead so you will have it done for later and won't have to cut into time in future relationships. Also, do you like to work this much? If so, go for it. As for whether you should bother? My answer is yes--you wanted it badly enough to start it, and later you'll kick yourself if you don't finish. I assume you're sad right now, but that won't last and her attitude should not determine what you want.
If you're trying to save a relationship, you should first consider whether you're even a good match. It sounds like you dropped quite a lot for her--does she seem to need a lot of extra attention? Are you prepared to give it to her for the duration of the relationship or are you just trying to please her now?
If you're the type who works a lot, you may need to consider what you need to do to have balance, and volunteering is good, but are you doing it out of the goodness of your heart or to look good for a certain career? I'm not being mean, but pointing out that you need to examine your own motives. Also, figure out how to plan your life so that you will be able to leave time for future relationships--but find someone who shares your values, because that's key--neither of you will be happy if you're working all the time and she lives a much more relaxed lifestyle.
You just need to be successful, any more work then that is gonna be a negative. She probably thought your life was flat. (nothing interesting). If you said you liked to camp out with friends and go deep sea diving, shed probably jump on you.
Maybe you need to look for girls that are similar to you, rather then pleasing people that are different from you.
Balance is the key.
I've done it all: worked full time, school full time, some volunteer work and I always had time for someone I wanted. Have to make the special people in your life feel special.
The guy I'm kind of seeing is always busy with work and volunteer stuff... it IS a problem.
So I have two options 1) See if he falls for me and redirects his attention where it should be 2) Cut my loses now because it's difficult getting him to confirm dates and etc because of all his commitments.
If you're trying to save a relationship, you should first consider whether you're even a good match. It sounds like you dropped quite a lot for her--does she seem to need a lot of extra attention? Are you prepared to give it to her for the duration of the relationship or are you just trying to please her now?
I agree with this.
It sounds like you hacve considered significantly changing the pace and direction of your life to accomodate her.
Be careful. You do not want to compromise who you really are for her, because in the long run you will discover you are not happy with the situation. If you really enjoy volunteering, then having a mate that resents you for it will not be a good situation. You will either have to give it up, or face the scrutiny.
As for working too hard overall, just maintain some balance. Relationships take a lot of time investment, and also require understanding when time cannot be invested.
You need to find a balance between all parts of your life. If you want to have a relationship with someone, you must carve ample space in your life for that to take root.
Think about it like planting trees. You want to plant an oak tree in your yard. Oak trees grow to be very tall. So you need to dig a big hole and find a nice wide-open space where that young sapling will have room to grow. If you try to plant all the trees in your yard within ten feet of each other, they will choke off and die, or be stunted.
I don't see any single activity you mentioned as a problem, but altogether they spell a man who does not have space in his life to devote to another person. Clearly she saw that too. I would keep the activities you enjoy, but in moderation. If she's looking for a man she could one day have a family with, then someone who goes to the gym 7 days a week will look unappealing. Does she want to be stuck at home with a crying baby in the evening while you're off doing that? Same thing with the classes and volunteering. Having that take some of your time is fine. But most women of today want a husband who will spend time with them, who will make them a priority and who will raise a family WITH them. If you look like you'd always be at the office or the gym or somewhere else, they may pass you by. Good luck.
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2) Cut my loses now because it's difficult getting him to confirm dates and etc because of all his commitments. 
